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Opinions

 

There will be blood

Fake hymens and
slut shaming

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

[eee I’m a member
of that feminine
mystique Betty Friedan
once got so uppity about.
I’ve spent the requisite
hours and dollars on
magazines; I’ve ignored
homework in favour
of camouflaging a zit;
I’ve done the whole
“Tm too fat” thing and
subsequent obsession
with salads. Of course the
list of what it takes to be
a woman nowadays goes
on, but you get the basic
gist. Imagine my shock
and chagrin when I heard
of what is—for some
women—a requisite to
respectable femaleness: a
fake hymen.

The target audience
for the product seems
to be countries where
virginity is integral to
securing a husband.

Companies like the
Hymen Shop tout the
artificial membrane’s
ability to restore virginity
with “no needles, [and]
no costly operation.”
Whether you want to
feign your virginity for
the big night or spice up
your married life with
multiple fake hymens,
this is the place for you!
Of course the product
isn’t actually for the
womans happiness and
well-being; or it is, but
only in the sense that a
thin layer of membrane
lies between a woman
being marriageable
and being destined for
spinster-ship. Falling
for imitation artificial
hymens (ones that aren’t
the genuine Hymen
Shop article) will
apparently incite anger
in the husband upon
his finding out he was
tricked into marrying a
less than virginal woman.
Which brings me to the
conclusion that fake
hymens—like breast
implants and vaginal

bleaching—are not for
the woman’s pleasure,
sexual or otherwise. Who
wants to shove a fake
membrane that dissolves
into blood up their
vagina? I get enough
real blood once a month,
thank you very much.
They attempt to
be discreet, but the
Hymen Shop describes
its services with a wink
and a leering nod. “Since
hymens can be broken
via physical activity
or even by the use of a
tampon, many women
are concerned about
restoring their virginity.”
It’s true that hymens can
be broken in a variety of
ways. Yet, if a tampon
or “physical activity”
(due to their subtlety,
I’m forced to assume
that they mean exercise
rather than sex) caused
the hymen to break,
I doubt many people
would refer to that as a
loss of virginity. In which
case, there’s no need to
worry about restoring
it, because it wasn’t lost.

Idealism versus realism

Struggling to
have integrity

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

Wanins fora
newspaper, I write
from week to week about
things that frustrate
me. Because I’m rather
idealistic, I frequently
write about the horrible,
horrid world we live in
and why people ought to
be more morally-minded.
I’ve ranted and railed
against ambivalence,
sweatshops, bug-killing,
and able-bodied people
who use the handicap
button to open doors.

T really screwed
myself over.

To explain: during

the Korean War, some
captured US soldiers
were sent to prisoner

of war camps in China.
At the camps, prisoners
would be asked to make
mildly anti-American
statements like, “The
United States is not
perfect.” Gradually, the
prisoners would be asked
to explain exactly how
the United States wasn’t
perfect, and would later
write an essay on how
America was imperfect.
The men would begin
to change their beliefs to
be consistent with what
they’d written.

No, I’m not ina
prisoner of war camp,
and I’m not being
brainwashed. Instead, I’ve
set myself some pretty
high standards that I have
to struggle to meet. Or at

the very least, pout and
sulk through meeting. By
publishing these idealistic
beliefs—even if I do
believe them—I’ve set
myself up for hypocrisy.
I’m not trying to
sound all “Woe is me;” I
know leaving bugs alone
and depriving myself of
making certain purchases
isn’t a hardship. But I
feel guilty and wasteful
if I drive anywhere, even
though I walk pretty
much everywhere. I won't
even get into the remorse
I felt when, attempting
to avoid the culpability
of buying sweatshop
products, I accidentally
bought leather shoes from
a secondhand store. When
I started on my no-killing-
bugs frenzy, I encountered
the flaw to my plans—a
fly in the ointment, if

But that isn’t the real
concern. The concern is
with shaming women for
being sexually active and
then capitalizing on that
shame.

Many people may
be shaking their heads
in disappointment
and disgust at the way
these misogynistic,
fundamentalist countries
treat their women.
Oppression of women
is pretty blatant in
countries where women
are pressured into buying
fake hymens.

Well, Western
society isn’t much
better. Our appearances,
thoughts, actions, and
speech are shaped
by a fundamentally
sexist society. There are
wrinkles in our thinking
habits that sometimes get
ironed out by feminists.
Those ideas that women
aren't intelligent enough
to vote, women aren’t
intelligent enough to
work, women are only
glorified baby-making
flowerpots. But language

you will. I tried to catch-
and-release a fly that was
perched on a window by
using the old paper and
cup attack. Unfortunately,
I didn’t take into account
the fact that I have
terrible aim and hand-eye
coordination. Pathetic
as it is, | somehow
managed to hit the fly
with the edge of the cup,
effectively killing it via
dismemberment. This
all led to a downward
spiral of “Dammit, I’m
Lenny from Of Mice and
Men,” but it also led to a
disproportionate amount
of guilt.

While I haven't
been brainwashed into
thinking or acting a
certain way, I worry
someone’s going to catch
me lacking integrity. And
I’ve begun to think this

is still peppered with
“bitch,” “slut,” “whore,”
and “ho,” and we live in
arape culture that blames
the survivor rather than
the perpetrator.
Apparently the
feminine mystique lies
at the point between
prude and slut. While we
aren't exactly selling fake
hymens in drug stores,
we're still guilty of slut
shaming. I’m angry that
artificial hymens are a
thing, but I’m not about
to blind myself to the fact
that we have a similar
problem here. Maybe it’s
not as obvious as the fake
hymen slogan, “Kiss[ing]
your deep dark secret
goodbye,” or maybe
it just seems smaller
because we're living it.
Whatever the case, we
can’t delude ourselves
into thinking sexism—
along with slut shaming
and the devaluation of
women—isn’t a problem.

manic high horsed-ness
isn’t so much with the
healthy—the altitude
alone is a lot to deal with.
You can’t take on all
the world’s issues. Yes,
if you have a way to
make the world a slightly
better place, you should.
This isn’t a free pass to
leave all the lights on in
your home, drive out to
Newfoundland, and club
some baby seals while
sporting a suit of leather.
Instead, I’m suggesting
that it isn’t healthy to
obsess over being a
decent human being all
the time. Of course it’s
important to strive to be a
good person, but there’s a
whole lot of bad out there;
it doesn’t make sense to
take the blame for it all.

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