Che
Scottish
Play

MIKE McGEE

he Se6ttish Play is a one act comedy written and
directed by Gemini winning actress Patti Harras.
It is a charming 45 minute farce about two
couples living in adjacent houses.

Marge, a classic caricature of an eccentric, middle-aged
Scottish wife, is performed by Ruby Montgomery. Marge’s
husband, Bernard, is an example of the stubborn, Scottish
curmudgeon stereotyped in stories, plays and movies
around the world. His character is played by Cameron
McDonald. Marnie, a capricious, young American wife
studying for her degree at university, is performed by
Jennifer Halley. Randy, played by Andrew Staniland, is her
American husband who is currently writing a thesis on
Peat Bogs.

The former couple has lived together in their house for
many years, the latter are newlyweds who have just moved
into their own place, this shown on stage by the number
of boxes strewn throughout their living room.

The stage is split into two halves; on the right side of
the stage is the living room of the newlyweds’ house and
on the left side is the living room of the Lockwells’ house.

The play opens with Marge lying with limbs splayed on
the couch, and numerous liquor bottles lying on the floor
around her. She is very drunk. As she blurts out slurred
words to her husband in an amazingly accurate Scottish
accent, the audience feels a sense of nostalgia in the old
couple as they quibble with each other almost as though
eir only form of communication.

y takes flight when Marge visits the newlyweds
jr to invite them over for a get-together. They
e and, although she is extremely persistent, sry do

July 1998 Page 16 =» CULTURE

not give in, observing, as Marge trips, tumbling over their
boxes, that she is obviously too drunk to know her own
mind.

So Marge stumbles back home again, where she finds
her husband sitting back in his recliner, reading a newspa-
per. After another loud and hilariously bitter-sweet argu-
ment, she convinces Bernard to visit Randy and Marnie
next door. Though Bernard does not want any people over
tonight, in order to make his wife happy he conceives a
plan, using trickery, to get these reluctant house-warm-ees
to attend the Lockwells’ establishment for a night they will
not soon forget.

Bernard walks across the stage and stops halfway,
in-between the two living rooms. He hunches over and
stares through an imaginary window. Randy and Marnie
appear to be in the middle of an argument of their own,
but when they see someone staring at them through their
side window, they stop fighting.

“There's someone in that window, looking at us!” says
Marnie, “A burglar! Quick, Randy! Go do something!
Randy! There's a peeping-Tom out there!”

Randy opens an imaginary side-door and pushes his
head out. “Hello?” he shouts.

“Hello!” Bernard shouts back, pretending to be hard of
hearing. Marnie says something to Bernard who replies by
thundering his words over her. “Look, the wife and I were
wondering if you” like to come over for a visit!” Marnie
attempts to tell him that they are very busy unpacking
their boxes. Bernard does not seem to hear properly.
“Yes!” Bernard wails. “ We have many flower boxes for our
garden, would you like to have a few? I was just asking,
would you two like to come over for a little gathering and
a meal?”

“I’m sorry!” Marnie shag back as loud as she can.

“But, we just ate, and...

“Great!” interrupts Besnard, who is still pretending not
to hear, “See you both tonight at eight then. Oh, by the
way, it’s pot luck. Bye!” He leaves while she continues to
shout “No!”-at the very edge of her vocal extension.

This is a charming, and very funny, play for mature
patrons to enjoy. It brings understanding of situations that
arise when two different cultures meet. When Randy and
Marnie finally make it over to the Lockwells’ house every-