alling in love” is often described as the most beautiful thing to happen
to anyone. You suddenly feel your entire body tingling, you get
goosebumps, and you can sense your heart beating faster than the speed
of a bullet train. You forget about your work, your worries and struggles,
and sometimes even eating when you are with the person who means the world
to you. At the same time, nothing bothers you as much as when your beloved ones
are upset, angry, or—worse—leave you. Now, many of you will argue that love can't
be the “best” thing when it brings so much pain with it, but in a weird way, that’s
one of the reasons it can be so amazing.

When I look at many of my partnered friends and colleagues, I sometimes
feel they are not in love, but are instead with their partners for sexual, emotional,
or social needs only. Psychologists and researchers all over the world have
been studying the “phenomenon” of people falling in love. They have studied
what effects this emotion has on your brain and body. Believe it or not, just a
few minutes of quality time each day spent with someone you actually love can
significantly prolong your life.

Let’s talk about falling in love in detail. Have you ever wondered why, no
matter how many unavoidable and unresolvable differences you have with
your loved one, it is difficult to let go? Well, according to Livescience.com,
neuroscientists have investigated the chemicals our brain produces during the
entire process of falling in love. They have also described the three phases of it—
lust, attraction, and attachment. The first phase is the releasing of sex hormones.
Testosterone and estrogen levels go high and induce very strong desires of physical
attraction. This is one of the reasons that when we look at someone pleasing, or
“sexy” for that matter, we idealize a situation of physical intimacy with them within
the first few seconds of seeing them.

Next is the stage of attraction, which the neurologists believe is driven by

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changes in adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. Different studies across the world
have found that adrenaline increases our body’s response to stress and we feel

our heart racing, our hands get sweaty, and we basically feel excited. Similarly, the
dopamine causes the body to stay in euphoria, lose appetite, and keep you smiling
thinking of your lover. Serotonin levels fall and keep you restless when you are
away from your partner.

Last is the stage of attachment. With passage of time, your body’s reaction to
chemicals produced by the brain makes you develop an emotional attachment.
Livescience.com reported that this is due to the resilience which the brain forms
to hormone changes. According to an article published at Youramazingbrain.org,
oxytocin and vasopressin are the two main hormones that are responsible for the
attachment phase. Both these hormones are released during and after sex. This is,
however, different than the first phase of physical lust. This is due to the mutual
respect, understanding, and strong desire to be with each other that makes you feel
satisfied after having physical intimacy with your partner.

Unfortunately, most of the relationships fail to go beyond the second phase
of attraction. John Mordecai Gottman is a world-renowned psychologist who
specializes in psychology of love, romance, and marriages. He points ego clashes,
constant criticism, sarcasm, and disrespect as major reasons to blame for this. This
stands true in most of the broken relationships we see around. Some say that they
love their partners but often hint that they don’t respect their partners or vice-
versa. Others have been with their partners for a few years but fail to trust them.
Sometimes, people are just bored of their partner.

While break-ups are a part of
nearly everyone's life, what we
need to ponder is love
itself. It truly