www.theotherpress.ca

Man enters rehab for Netflix addiction

|

|

a
ge

 

into the recently opened
National Centre for Netflix
Addiction (NCNA). The
centre already has a waitlist
of over a year and finds
that most people who enter
for treatment often recover
from their addiction.

The centre’s director,
Emily Jacobs, says that
“The patients we deal with
often come here once they
reach the saturation point;
this is the point when they
have watched all content on
Canadian Netflix two times
over and finally realize they
have a problem.”

For Richard Hawthorne
this point came when he
got fired from his job: “I
didn’t show up to work for
a month. They tried calling

2

Humour.

side effect of the Netflix
Zombie situation is that

the economy in Canada

is failing under the strain

of subpar employee
performances. Employees
are either in a Zombie state
due to Netflix induced sleep
deprivation or they miss
work altogether.

Analysts report that the
recent dismal performances
from Blackberry maker
Research in Motion was
due to 75 per cent of their
workforce being addicted
to Netflix. Now all of their
subpar products make
complete sense.

The Canadian mobile
phone company has
agreed to send those of
their employees who are

Photo illustration by Joel McCarth addicted to Netflix to the

NCNA and the company

is expected to make a

full recovery. For Mr.
Hawthorne, his life is again
bright, he is now free of
Netflix addiction, and has

me but I was busy watching
Community. Finally they
sent the police over since
they thought I was missing.
The police found me
wearing an adult diaper,
re-watching Community and

wood on the weekends,
and loved hiding from the
nasty Saskatoon winter
indoors whilst watching the
shopping channel. This all
changed a few months ago

commonly known as

a Netflix Zombie. This
growing phenomenon
manifests itself in ways
that are extremely harmful
to society, both from an

Nation struggles
under the effects of
Netflix addiction

By Aidan Mouellic, though, when Hawthorne economic and from a laughing like a maniac.” also found work as a rehab
Contributor discovered Netflix. sociological standpoint. The The toll that Netflix hason —_ counselor at the NCNA.
Netflix, the Internet Netflix Zombie has been the individual is staggering; He encourages everyone
ichard Hawthorne was video streaming program, known to spend upwards of hygiene and health are to cancel their Netflix
R° average Canadian transformed Mr. Hawthorne 22 hours per day watching completely foregone for the subscription after they have

Netflix content. This was
the case for Mr. Hawthorne,
who has been placed

sheer pleasure of watching
episode after episode of
thrilling television.

One unforeseen

finished watching season
three of Community and all
of Arrested Development.

from a productive member
of society to a mass Netflix
content consumer—

in every sense. He worked
full-time for a beer
company, enjoyed chopping

By Livia Turnbull, Netflix Analyst

Have you ever watched something on Netflix and gotten recommendations for something
completely different? We've all thrown our hands up in frustration at some point during our
Netflix induced procrastinations. Here’s a sample of some of the weirdest recommendations
Netflix has to offer.

 

RECO

If You Like...

DAT

: You'll Also Like... But You Won't Like...

 

Blue Velvet Mars needs Moms

Mulholland Drive

Curious George : Planet of the Apes The Tigger Movie
Reservoir Dogs : Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus Pulp Fiction
Breaking Bad : Bill Nye the Science Guy The Wire

Prison Break America’s Most Wanted Lost

Adventure Time Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Gravity Falls

Poltergeist : Casper Paranormal Activity

 

23