some point, both parties are
going to want to meet each
other. Once they do, if the
relationship still looks like a
thing they both want, there’s
got to be some time that they
can actually spend with each
other. For me, this meant a
lot of vacation time spent
flying down to the Sunshine
State. Once | was there, one
of the things | made sure to
discuss was when I'd be able
to visit again. Setting dates
gives you something to look
forward to, something you
can count down towards. You
might be surprised how much
of a difference this makes.
Take some photos while
youre at it. For many of us,
this won’t be a problem.
Phones have cameras, and
people take their phones
everywhere with them. |’m
an outlier—my phone is an
ancient Nokia—but | do have
a digital camera. I’m not
much for taking pictures with
it, but looking back, | wish I'd
taken more. There’s a lot we
did in those seven years that
never were recorded, and
now | don’t remember some
of it. Collect some memories,
buy a few souvenirs from the
places you go together. You'll
thank yourself in the end,
and the pictures might come

in handy for proving the
relationship later if you need
to convince immigration.
Immigration comes in
because, of course, the end
goal of long distance will in
most cases be, as in mine,
the elimination of the “long-
distance” qualifier. That
means somebody’s going to
have to move. Moving can
be a daunting task, especially
if it’s across an international
border. Figure out early in
the process who wants to
move where; chances are one
of you will have fewer roots
put down. If neither person
wants to move, that might be
a sign to look for something
a little closer to home. Once
you know who’s going to
move, do your homework.
Moving from BC to Alberta
is fairly straightforward, but
moving from the US isa
whole other kettle of fish. If
you get this far, go talk to
a lawyer; it'll be worth it.
Oh, and it should go
without saying that a long-
distance commitment is
still a commitment, but I’m
going to say it anyway for
posterity: Just because your
partner can’t catch you isn’t
any license to cheat. Like
any relationship, you should
be establishing boundaries

early on. Once you've got
them, stick to them. Your life
will be a hell of a lot easier,
and you won't put additional
strain on an already difficult
situation. Living far away
from your partner is hard
enough, so there’s no need
to complicate things. Trust
and communication are still
the foundations of a stable
relationship, no matter

the distance involved.

Last, don’t feel too bad if
it doesn’t work out. Like | said
at the beginning, distance
isn’t for everyone. I’m frankly
amazed that we made it
work as long as we did, and
if | could have cut a few
years off of the time | would
have. My first long-distance
relationship failed miserably
after less than a year—learn
from it, and move on.

One last thing, for those
still on the long-distance
road. When you hit the end
of that road, and when the
distance is finally gone, it’s
truly worth it. It’s a lot of hard
work, there’s easier ways to
go about finding a partner,
but when you think you’ve
got the one, and you really
want to make it happen...
go for it, and good luck.