Fi = pe
Qiao

 

Why you should floss: a chronology

By Linda M. Tobias

The first appointment:

The dentist peers at my X-rays and
confirms that I have a cavity. This is
not a surprise to me. I’ve suspected for
a few weeks (okay, months) that this
might be the case. It was the pain that
tipped me off.

The second appointment:

The freezing has set in and the dentist

is drilling away. She stops and peers at
me over her face mask. There’s a look
in her eyes that I don’t care for.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It’s too late
for this tooth, the decay’s too far in.
I’m afraid you’re going to need a root
canal.”

I’m not sure what a root canal
is, but judging from her expression,

I assume it’s painful. She seems to
be expecting tears. I’ve been through
childbirth, though—bring it on!

The third, fourth and fifth
appointment:
The male dentist and his hygienist have

me head down, with a large telescope-
type thing above me. It blocks the view
to the TV. They’re removing the nerves
from my tooth, I’m told. A slow, multi-
hour procedure that some genius (not
me) decided should be split up over
three separate appointments. I ask them
to pull the tooth out instead. They seem
to think I’m joking.

The sixth appointment:
Oh my God! I’ve swallowed my tooth!

     

What the hell?! All that’s left in my
mouth is a raggedy stump where my
tooth used to be and since I didn’t spit
anything out...

Turns out, what I ate was a
temporary crown. It’s biodegradable

and losing it is no big deal, I’m assured.

This is little comfort to me seeing

as how I’ve rearranged my schedule
and driven an hour to get here for no
apparent reason.

The seventh appointment:
Gum surgery to make room for the
crown. Enough said.

No, wait, there is more to say:
I’m breastfeeding. So I can’t take the
Tylenol 3s I’ve been prescribed.

The eighth appointment:

The stitches are removed. Another two
hours spent in the car, driving to the
office, this time for something I’m sure
I could have accomplished myself with
a mirror and manicure scissors.

The ninth and tenth appointment:

~ As of this writing, those appointments

are scheduled for later this month. I’m
assured that as soon as my new crown
is in place on the second of these visits,
everything will be complete.

There’s a new ache now, ina
different tooth. I don’t think I'll
mention it to my dentist. Instead, I'll
pay you $50 to smack me in the face
with a crowbar.

After all, I’m not a masochist.

 

Correction

In our February 2" issue, it was reported that Officer Scott Klassen of the New Westminster police force was implicated in the beating of a newspaper delivery man
(“The police need to be better,” page 10). It was actually Jeff Klassen of the New Westminster police who was implicated. The Other Press regrets this error.

 

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