humour // no. 22

 

 
    

re eer ee heed

This just in

» Once trendy issues remain literal things

    
 

Chandler Walter

illennials of 2015 have

been shocked to learn
that certain issues that they
were in complete support or
opposition of many years ago
still remain actual things today.

Tracy Allen, a second
year student at UBC, wrote
in a tweet three years ago:
“#StopKony2012 we all need
to work together to help the
invisible children!” When
asked recently how her fight
against Kony went she replied
“Who?” and explained that she
had believed that Joseph Kony
had been killed by “whoever
made that video or whatever.”
After the release of the

documentary Blackfish,
Chad Kelly, a self-proclaimed
“keyboard warrior,” wrote a
40o-word Facebook status
condemning Sea World and
any other institutions that
kept orca whales imprisoned.
We caught up with Kelly and
asked him what more he did
to fight the good fight against
those oppressing the beautiful
sea creatures. “Well, I wrote
that Facebook status,” Kelly
said, “and then I got into a
really long argument with my
uncle in the comments section
of the post. I ruined a family
relationship for those animals.
I think that counts as enough.”
Kelly had no comment about

: the recent status of the orcas
: in captivity, but was sure that
: someone else is probably still
: doing something about it.

Meanwhile, many who

: were adamantly opposed to

: American assistance during

: the Ebola outbreak in Africa

: have been left unaware about
: the ongoing struggle. It

: wasn’t until November 7 that
: the outbreak was officially

: declared over in Sierra Leone,
: prompting curiosity from

: local Vancouverite Bill Naiker.
: “[ thought it was all over

: after the Americans who got

: infected came over with it.

: The world, that is. Seemed

: like we were all about to die.

: After that scare I figured

: that Ebola was just... cured?”
: Naiker had been adamantly

: opposed to allowing anyone

: from the entire continent of

: Africa to travel, stating in a

: 2014 blog post that that would
: lead to “the end of days.”

That’s an idea that is

: still being held onto by 2012

: apocalypse believer Jessica

: Kwon, who had sold all of her

: worldly belongings to “live it up”
: prior to the much-speculated

: doom of December 21, 2012.

: Kwon has, somehow, maintained
: this belief long after its

: relevance and trendiness wore

: off, leaving her as the last person
: to do so. “The Mayan calendar

: was just... a little off,” Kwon

: explained. “Don’t you worry:

: the doom will come to us all.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

theotherpress.ca

by Sarah Walker, Senior Columnist

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by Josh Visser, Columnist