issue 14 / volume 40 Netflix debuts dating service » ‘Netflixing’ takes on new definitions Aidan Mouellic Staff Writer Noe the most popular video streaming service available in Canada, has branched offinto exciting new territory. Ata press conference held last month in Vancouver, BC, the company announced the launch of “Netflix Dates”—a dating service based around the Netflix video streaming platform. Netflix Dates are just what they sound like: two people meet up, watch a program on Netflix together, and then— when it’s over—watch another program. The algorithm that Netflix uses provides Netflix Dates personnel the informa- tion needed to schedule the date, pick the programming, and find a suitable location that has Wi-Fiaccess near both interested parties. The service has only been avail- able for a month in its beta testing base of Vancouver, yet it’s already proving to be extremely popular with singles. Geoff Funblaum, the chief marketing director for Netflix Canada, explained the idea behind the service: “Netflix Dates is a service that finds singles nearby with similar viewing patterns, and then we see if they both want to get together and consume Netflix asa single unit... Most single people are single because they watch too much Netflix or because their relationships fail : due to incompatible Netflix : viewing preferences. Our : service provides a solution.” Engineers at Netflix have : created an algorithm that : gathers your viewing data : based on show preferences, : length of watching sprees, and : time of day when shows are : watched, and then determines : who your ideal local matches : are. Netflix Dates engineer : Peter George told the Other : Press that “the algorithm is : damn complicated—it’s full : of numbers and symbols and : other weird-looking shit—but : the results are incredible. Just : by knowing what you watch, : when, and for how long, we can : determine your age, gender, : weight, musical preferences, : educational background, : occupational situation, and : income levels—all of which are : important tools to finding youa : potential mate to go out with.” When Netflix finds a : match, both parties receive : analert that includes all the : necessary information to make : a Netflix Date happen. “All : you have to do is sit back and : enjoy watching your favourite : movies or TV shows while we : here at Netflix do all the work : for you in finding your perfect : match,” said Funblaum. Netflix knows its clientele, and knows how lazy single : Vancouverites who watch too : much Netflix are; with Netflix : Dates, the company hopes to : make life easier for those who : love watching episode after : episode and movie after movie. The service, which is &) Facebook Fails "| Sharon Miki HAPPY NEW WEEK!!| I!!! Wow, wow—can you believe it's already 14 days into 2014? Time flies. It's times like these that you really look back on the 2 weeks that've passed and think, you know? |, for one, am 50 grateful for the love and support my amazing friends and incredible family throughout this week—which, let's face it, was FULL of ups and downs!!! For all those haters that did me wrong in 2014...I'm glad you're out of my life, | dan't need your negative energy clouding my New Week. My New Week's Resolutions for week 3 of Jan, 20147 1. Breathe more, choke less, Fall in love, then out of love, then back in love, ete. ete. 2. 3. Obviously, lose 50 pounds. 4. Travel more (i.e. finally visit the Coquitlam campus). 5. Learn how to speak another langquage...body langugage. “0x0 peace and light. Like - Comment» Share eee only available in Vancouver : so far, is already planning on : expanding east in the next few : weeks. A few kinks need to : be ironed out first, though. : : “Too many dates have failed : : since the Netflix Date users for- got to talk to each other during : the date,” explained George. “We might have to program : specific pauses in the date pro- : grams we provide so that the folks can discuss the show and : themselves with each other.” Ghosting: A Pre-Valenine’s Guide humour // 23 By Joel McCarthy As the service expands past : its beta testing phase, it’s still : unsure how strong of a foothold : Netflix will gain within the : realm of 21st century dating. [a Definition: When you're either too lazy or cowardly to break up with a once-promising romantic partner, so you gradually cut off communication until the relationship dwindles away to a memory—but one that haunts them! 6 Steps to ghosting like a pro! 1, Create physical distance: insist on sitting a few seats apart when you're out in public together so that people (including your partner) are not quite sure if you're actually together. 2, Change your Facebook relationship status to “! don’t know, maybe.” 3. Reply to texts only once every five to six days—but only with meaningless emoticons (never words). 4, Stop replying bo texts and calls altogether. 5, To avoid being seen, become a master of disguise: dye your hair, change your style, get facial reconstructive surgery, ect, 6. [Feonfronted in person, claim that you had an accident and now have “temporary amnesia.” BONUS ROUND: As soon as they finally get the hint, send an “I miss you” text: repeat the cycle. Enjoy going to hell.