Page 4° { SILLY STAFFBOX The following people are real, only their sanity has been modified to adjust for Other Press production. 1) Dan Hilborn revealed today that he is seeking an independant ambassadorship to East Tibor for next year. 2) Chris Page announced that his brown summer jacket will soon have a new home in a yet to be selected museum. 3) Mary Palffy recieved a letter from Mel Gibson. We'll have more on that when see regains consciousness. 4) Martin Hemerik (with a K) has been named Upper Volta’ first Sports Hall of Famer for his achievements in beating on little white balls with long sticks. 5) Peter Julian resigned his post as Chair of The Other Publications Society to accept a cabinet post with the United Nations Security Council Staff in New York. Good luck Peter. We'll all miss you. 6) Sean Valentini borrowed rubber gloves again, but is not contemplating a life of crime, as earlier reported. 7) Earnest Hawker finally figured out the formula for the —infamous Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster. Zaphod Beeblebrox is reportedly suing for infringement. -8) Ian Hunter suddenly regained consciousness and immediately decided to leave the paper. He will be taking over as the BBC’s Canadian new correspondent early in November. Rots of ruck, Ian. It was a blast!!! 9) Vic Gromarty revealed that he was once almost married, but he had to give up plans as the Datsun in question was Shinto, and he is a strict Agnostic. 10) Caroline Hardon is reportedly considering using dyramite on the new processor. Meanwhile her new bike lignt looks neat. ’ 11) Diane Hebron came in and amazed everyone with her great layout techniques and fantastic card tricks. 12) Wendy van Halderer says that she plans to join the clergy soon and become the first nun to wear leather to high mass. (funny?) Ei 13) Dave Watson told us that his main ambition in life is to paint all the walls of his bedroom black and spend three days alone there with Marie Osmond. 14) Eddy Alexandre dropped by and revealed ‘that he is actually the reincarnation of J. Paul Getty. 15) Sandra McMillan got picked up by her sister Nancy, and they went out to rob a liquor store and spend the money on Tic-Tacs. 16) Murray Budden helped out a lot and took lots of notes for his bosses at the new National Security Agency. 17) Ian Lyon wrote a bit, ate some pizza, and figured out the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything. 18) Lisa Greenleas did a lot of layout and schemed to take over the world; or at least the 0.P. 19) Bill Hardwick had to go home early, but promised to take us all for rides in his new Lear Jet. 20) Brian Pharez ran around a lot and revealed how he is actually radioactive and has to wear lead shorts to protect others. Other Press but we refused and he settled for a piece of pizza. 22) Aun Hardon saved all our butts as usual with superb typesetting. If we left anyone out, please forgive us. If we didn’t, GREAT!!!! (is this the sort of stuff you want in the paper?) tC by VJ. ie e>r to pace one's nose 21) Sean Balderstone asked to be Absolute Ruler of the © J THE OTHER PRESS A Gigantic Smokescreen by Bill Hardwicke *Webster’s Definition of Rest- raint: ‘‘act of restraining.”’ restrain: ‘‘to restrict, or keep under control.’ *““RESTRAINT”’-a word that is bandied about by a govern- ment that really has NO CONCEPTION of the proper _ meaning of the word. The public are being treated as imbeciles by a group of in- compettents who are contin- uing to waste millions of taxpayer’s dollars. REST] RAINT is like MOTHER HOOD-no one is really against it. Government has still not made any attempt to control their own wastefulness in the various projects that are still ongoing. The real truth in the matter is that the government is using a GIGANTIC SMOKESCREEN under the guise of RESTRAINT in at- tempting to get rid of certain selected people in govern- ment jobs who opposed them. politically. In a letter to the Vancouver Sun prior to the provincial election last April, I pointed out the wastefulness of this government. Needless to say, the Sun did not see fit to publish the letter and you can’ only draw your own conclus- ions for doing so. The gist of the letter was that most of the projects undertaken by gov- ernment could not break even; (they told us they would cost us no money). On September 16, 1983, in a front page special of the Vancouver Sun, Brian Power points out that the losses accruing in the operation of the stadium (as distinct from capital costs or borrowings) would continue, regardless if the stadium sold out 100 percent. Writer Power follows © the hypotheses set out in my earlier letter to the Sun in April. Following along with this line of reasoning, I used the Big ‘“‘O”’ stadium in Montreal as an excellent example of why private money NEVER IS CHANELLED into financing stadiums-there is no PROFIT! Aside from the cost overrun of _ the Big ‘‘O’’, which was somewhere in the neighbour- | hood of $1 billion, the project elsewhere to cover transit ‘losses. At the moment the, government has not seen fit to implememt this tax, but give has been a losing proposition —them—time-they will. Using - from the day it was turned over for ‘‘normal’’ operation. In my letter to the Sun I quoted a news item that ran, in part, as follows: “The Olympic Stadium in Montreal has once again lived up to its nickname as ‘‘The Big Owe.” . DEFICIT-The Olympic Ins- tallations Board, the company set up by the Quebec govern- ment to run the stadium, recorded a operating deficit of previous year.”’ My letter pointed out that ‘despite the success of the} Montreal Expos baseball team (they lure more than 2 million fans annually to the park), the stadium still lost close to $5 million, With a significantly smaller population and no major leagues (the CFL is not a ‘‘major league’), the future of Bennett place cannot be considered any rosier than the Big ‘O’ at Montreal. In addition to the foregoing, I pointed out that the property owner's tax bill had a blank space to include ‘‘UTA’”’ (obviously for Urban Transit Authority). Isn’t this nice and handy, just in case the govern-. ment has not been able to generate enough tax dollars this same line of reasoning, it is not too difficult to visualize a plethora of deficits of other doubtful projects. Your tax bill could look something like the following in addition to the U.T.A. section: B.C.P. Operation deficit B.C. : Place Stadium =e A.L.R.T. Operating deficit for Rapid Transit (a Eurnaby al- derman has alrea4v brought this up publicly) Expo 86 Expositions by nature do not break even. New Fraser Bridge Somebo has to pay for this some da The list could go on and on | but space does not permit the complete story to be told here. © Has the government been truthful in addressing the universal question of REST AINT? Has government set itself up as a shining example of control in spending? The answers obviously are a def- initeNO on both counts. Has, or is the government guilty of WATERGATING?”’ The an- swer has to be YES. When the history is written- about—the — government, somewhere into the next century, all of you will have been a victim of THE BENNETTGATE COVERUP- a gigantic smokescreen Congrats to Bill Day Congratulations are in order for PRESIDENT BILL DAY and his staff and faculty members for the super effic- ient manner in which courses have been arranged for this sememster. The swing shift idea where a three-hour morn- ing course is also repeated at 1900 hours the same day is not only unique but allows certain students to go to either class without losing any continuity in his studies. During the past summer with Douglas closed, I managed to ‘‘squeeze’’ into the Langara campus for a couple of cour- ses. The method of selecting students for the following semester is slightly different than at Douglas. Students with a 1.79 plus G.P.S. are in preferred position over those with the lower G.P.A. Newer students registering would » have priority over those with the lower G.P.A. This does not mean that ‘‘seniority’’ does not play a part because the seniority rule comes into effect for those with the higher-than 1.79 g.p.a..l am not saying that this would or would not be a good idea but it merits some study.