March 14, 19911

the Other Press

 

 

  

yards. This was not the fancy
dinner that I had planned, but it
would be fun, and they would
not be a bit suspicious of the
coming events. They were both
due to.eome home from work at
9330) and generally they are not
latejand today they did not stray
from that ritual.

Their car rolled into the
driveway and before I realized
that it was them, I heard
footsteps making their way up
the worn frent steps.

As I waited for them, my
mind constantly hashed over the
Many intricate things that I had
thought of saying. But I was
suddenly awakened by the
sound of the front door opening.

I quickly ran to light the
candles on the table. I wanted
everything to be perfect. By the
time we had sat down to dinner,
it became quite noticeable that
between the smell of the chicken
and flickering of the long
tapered candles that their long
tired faces had become fresh and
joyful.

 

When the last drumstick
had been eaten and all the plates
that were laden with many
bones and white forks were
finally pushed aside, I realized
that it was now or never.

__The air was suddenly filled
with silence as I started in with
my big announcement. "Mom
and Dad , there is something I
want to tell you." My throat
started to seize up as I realized
my parents were listening to my
every syllable. I pushed on again
quickly knowing there was no
turning back. "I want to tell you
that..." Their eyes had blown up
into large spheres as they sat
perched upon their two chairs
like two determined judges
ready to deliver a verdict upon
me. The last two words fell off
my tongue,"I’m Gay."

As the words took hold
upon them, I sat waiting for their
first reactions. But I somehow
knew that I had reached the
point that even though I cared
deeply for these people, I was
the one who was my own judge

and jury. Their feelings, whether
they were positive or negative,
didn’t matter. I like myself,
every piece of whol am.

‘Lfe)

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ot just sex,
understand
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friend or
ale human
being. The
ences are
© people

ften love
men love
y women

p tears of wrong, but to a sense of equi
e midst of and humanity with which ea
Gay and of us are born. It is my wish to

perience the help germinate and foster these
one loves seeds of humanity, tolerance

her, it is and understanding. 4

ey are your

ot) Just Sex

can often love men emotionally,
Just as do straight women.
However, and this is where
the only difference exists, gay
men are predominatly attracted
to other men, gay women are
predominatly attracted to other
women. One could then say that
Bay is just sex." But as I stated
before, sex is not bad or wrong.
If sexual attraction with
another consenting adult is bad,
then would’t all forms of sexual
attraction be equally wrong? I
don’t refer to a moral or
religious sense of right or

77
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Vaal? Recs

Hi there, I’m bisexual.
Nobody knows that I am bi or
even that I might be. My best
friend doesn’t know, my work
mates, my class mates and my
parents don’t know. This can be
really difficult because it means
that I have to deny who I really
am.

I hurts me that I cannot be
fully honest with my best friend.
I fear that he would only think
that we are friends because I am
attracted to him. I’m not
though. To me he’s only my
best friend, someone to go out
for beers with, someone to tell
my problems to. However, he is
openly homophobic. I know
that if I ever told him the truth,
he would not want to be my
friend. That hurts.

A man walks down the
street. I think "Hm, he’s not bad

bu

Being Bisexual is not easy, in
i] ct it’s very hard. It’s easy
fnough to come to terms with
the fact that you are physically
and sometimes emotionally
attracted to someone of the same
sex. Then comes the hard part.

You start questioning
yourself about what this means.

"Does this mean’ that I am
gay? Ohno, this means T¢an’t be
with someonesof the Opposite
sex?"

Then you start reading up
on all the stuff about
homosexuality. All lot of the
stuff you find in the school
library is outdated garbage
written by heterosexuals. You
begin to believe that this is the
way you are and there is no
cure’ or it,

Then you meet someone of
the opposite gender and you
really like them.

looking", but 'tellino-one else. T
am afraid to walk up to that
rson and ask him or try and
hint at him,that T might be
interested. | If you are
heterosexual,-and you see a
beautiful woman walkdown the
street, don’t you usually turn to
whoever you're with at the time
and comment on her? Try and
imagine how alone you would
feel if you constantly had to keep
that inside because it is
unacceptable to show attraction
to a member of the opposite sex.
I met this man, and I fell in
love with him. He is
heterosexual, I am bisexual. He
does not know that I am in love
with him or that I am bisexual.
This person is oblivious to me
and my emotions. This hurts me.
This may turn some people off,
or offend them or even (god

   

 

 
   
  
   
 
  
 
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
  
   
   
   
   
  
   
  
  
 
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
   
  
  
  
  
   
   
   
   
  
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
  
   
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
  
  
 

Op

"Oh no, what does this
fan? I’m not suppose to have
fhese feelings. I’m suppose to be
gay, I think. Oh, maybe I ’m

bisexual then. Hm, now this

makes sense, I think."

But you are not sure. So then
you start reading up about
bisexuality. There isn’t much
available but you _ find
something.

Then you start you talking
to people in the gay community.
This confuses you even more.
You are told that there is no such
thing as bisexuality and you are
just fence sitting.

"Make up your mind," they
say. "You’re either gay or
straight."

Then you meet other
bisexuals. Now you know that
you are not alone. They feel the
same way. Now you finally
understand.

Sonow you know its alright
to have a relationship with the
opposite sex. So you get

involved with someone. But
here come the hard part. Having
to come out to them. Now that is
hard. You can’t deal with the fact
that they might reject you. So
you run away from it rather then
dealing with it.

Thén you fall in love with
someone of the same sex who is
also bisexual. But they are in
love or lust, with somebody of
the opposite sex.

This is why, being bisexual is
not easy. In factit’s really hard.
But when you're comfortable
with your Sexuality you can deal
with it. Why do people have to
complicate sexuality? We
should love and be with whom
ever we please) without people
imposing absolutes.

y Knows About Me

forbid) disgust you. But you
have to try and look at it from
my point of view. I have this
unprofessed love for a person. I
have to go for the rest of my life
with this love, or at least until I
am ready to "come out.” If I had
this love for a woman, and for
some reason, say religion, I
could not profess my love for
her, it would be considered
romantic and tragic. But just
because people have a fear of
gays or lesbians or bisexuals, I
cannot profess my love and I live
in constant fear of being
discovered.

Since high school, I’ve
known that I have been bisexual.
I wanted desperately to go out
with some with some of the girls
that had been in my grade, but I
have also had some enormous