Suicide isn't beautiful

> Why the ‘tragic revenge’ portrayal of suicide in media helps absolutely no one

Rebecca Peterson
Humour Editor

 

almost don’t want to name the

Netflix series this article is a response
to, because quite frankly I think it’s
received enough free publicity. However,
for the sake of context, I’ll bring it
up: This is about 13 Reasons Why.

If you've managed to avoid people
on your Facebook feed either sharing
trailers and articles praising the series
for addressing mental illness in teens
“unflinchingly,” countered by articles
explaining why it fails to do all the
things it supposedly set out to do, let
me sum it up for you really quick. The
series is about a young girl who commits
suicide and leaves behind a series of
tapes explaining how her death is

actually the fault of her classmates, many

of whom did admittedly horrendous
things to her, or at least looked the
other way as these things were done.
In the end, it’s communally accepted
that this girl killed herself as a result
of the actions of others, and those
“responsible” learn some kind of lesson
about not being horrible to people and
they become better people as a result.

This is an idea that’s been touched
on many times before, that suicide
can be used as a final, devastating
weapon against bullies and the willfully
ignorant. That the person who dies is
nothing less than a martyr for the cause
of showing people that being mean to
people is... bad. And such stories also
throw in the complex idea that suicide
is, wouldn't you know, also bad.

Let me get something
straight: This story is a myth. A
dangerous, stupid, painful myth.

The idea of suicide as revenge is a
romantic one for troubled teenagers,

who often don’t understand the finality
of their actions. They can imagine, with
clarity, how people will react to news
of their tragic death, how the people
who should have done something
sooner will bemoan the errors of their
ways. This is all without taking into
account that should they succeed, they
won't be around to see any of what
they're hoping will happen. There is no
satisfaction, there is no closure, there is
no real ending. And yet, a lot of media
aimed at teens tends to show the exact
opposite, further fueling the idea that
suicide can be used as a tool or as an
escape, when the truth is far different.
Suicide is complex. The motivations
that drive a person to such a horrifically
final act are often varied and—to those
not suffering the same mental anguish—
often incomprehensible. There’s no
recipe book of lived experiences that
leads to a point where someone has
no other option than to end their own
life—factors such as support systems,
underlying mental health conditions,
and even intention all have to be taken
into consideration if one is to start
looking for any kind of “reason.” Often,
there is no “reason,” or at least, not one
that is universally understandable.

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election
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And more!

How would I know any of this?
Well, two reasons why: First, I’ve lost
friends to suicide—not one, but two.
Second, I’m a suicide survivor, which is
a strange sentence to write, even now.

I remember what it was like being
a teenager and battling with suicidal
ideation. | remember those fantasies of
escaping all the things that made my
mind a horrible place to be stuck inside,
and thinking that maybe people would
feel bad for not treating me perfectly
nicely all the time. That was when I
would have had a neatly itemized list
of all the “reasons why,” probably.

I also remember later, when the
suicide ideation went hand-in-hand with
a deep, clinical depression, and there
were no reasons beyond just wanting it
all to stop the way you'd want to turn off
a TV if it was showing nothing but static
for weeks, months, years, interspersed
irregularly with images of everything

terrifying and horrible you could possibly

imagine. Mental illness is fun like that.
It’s something I still struggle with to this
day, though I’m far better off now than I
was before my diagnosis and treatment.
But I also remember what kicked
off those years of clinical depression,
during which I had my closest near-

BC Crisis Intervention Contact Information
Anywhere in BC: 1-800-784-2433
Mental Health Support Line: 310-6789

Vancouver: 604-872-3311
Online Chat Service for Youth: www. YouthInBc.com (Noon to lam)
Online Chat Service for Adults: www.CrisisCentreChat.ca (Noon to lam)

Millennials aren't any worse

or better, just different

> Stop belittling the younger generation

Jessica Berget
Staff Writer

 

L all too often that you hear the
older generation complaining about
the newer one. Whether it’s about how
lazy, brainwashed, or childish they are,
it seems that everyone has a strong
opinion when it comes to millennials,
but they are forgetting something
important. This generation is a product
of the previous one, and if it’s true
that we are egotistical and stupid, it’s
because adults messed something up.

I am not alone in this belief, there
are sociologists and psychologists who

agree. In Chap Clark’s book Hurt 2.0, he
argues that the faults of millennials have
been exacerbated by adults. The spirit of
his teaching is essentially that “It takes

a village to raise a child.” Children need
more adults in their lives than just their
parents. Aunts, grandfathers, teachers,
and mentors of all kinds contribute

to the social development of kids.

Clark calls the decrease of adult
involvement in children’s lives the erosion
of social capital. If you've ever taken a
sociology class you have probably heard
this term, though Clark does not use the
standard definition. He stipulates that
social capital is an individual's capacity
to care for others without expecting

anything in return. Children don’t
usually have anything to give back, and
so they are increasingly left out of adult
social interactions. Combine this with
the fact that families have become more
isolated from their larger community,
and an entire generation is raised
without a proper support system.
Another problem is that children
do not receive proper acknowledgement
from adults. Praise may have been
showered upon them, but it was praise
to do with their achievement—whether
real or imagined. When all that children
know is merit-based praise, they will
constantly search for it. They want the
kind of affirmation that was given to

misses: The loss of two of my friends
to suicide, both of which I felt in some
way responsible for, even if] didn’t
admit it to myself at the time. Let me
tell you, feeling as though you might
be responsible for someone else’s death
doesn’t make you a better person, it
doesn’t make you kind. It destroys you.
And if I’d watched a show like 13
Reasons Why during that time, one
that reinforces the idea that other
people—other teenagers, other kids—
can be responsible for someone’s
suicide, it would have broken me even
more than I was already broken.
Stories like this help no one.
They don’t help teenagers battling
mental illness, fantasizing late into
the night about something they have
no understanding of. They don’t help
the friends and loved ones that are left
behind after someone loses their battle
with mental illness. And God knows
they don’t help the dead. All they do is
capitalize financially on the shock value
of such a taboo topic, under the guise of
trying to help vulnerable people. Even if
that wasn’t the showrunner’s intention,
that’s what it ultimately amounts to.
There are other, far better ways to
help, without placing blame on anyone.

 

them when they were younger because

it is the only way they can feel valuable,
and this makes them self-centered.

So, what is to be done? First of all,
millennials need to be open to criticism.
If we recognize some of these accusations
against us as being true, we need to be
willing to talk about our faults without
getting our backs up. More importantly,
community needs to once again become
an important part of culture. People
need to invest in others’ lives without
expecting something in return. Perhaps
most importantly, adults need to mentor
and care for children while focusing on
their inherent worth as a human being,
rather than on their achievements.