“March 31, 1980

- The Other Press

 

from page 4

“Mr Sulu,’’ interrupted
Dan. ‘‘If | had wanted a
Russian history lesson |
would have brought along
Mr. Checkov. Continue Mr.
Spock and hand me that
bottle of brown stuff.’’

“Yes captain,’’ agreed
Rob. ‘‘Earth, circa 1980.
Point of origin, Douglas
College. During that year a
group of overly ambitious
representatives attempted
to improve themselves by
selective drinking. They
called themselves the
Surrey student society. Led
by one Bergomaster Van

and aided by a _ rogue
newspaper, the Pinion,
these ‘supermen’  simul-

taneously seized power on
over half the campuses in
the lower mainland.”’

““Yes,’’ commented Dan,
grimly. ‘‘The infamous
Brett battles.”’

‘Correct captain,’ said
Rob. ‘‘But these so-called
‘supermen’ forgot one
thing. Selective drinking
breeds superior hangovers.
They could not hold what
they seized and threw up
the rest. While they made
sick an uprising, spear-
headed by another news-
paper, the Other Press,
rose up and overthrew the

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tyrants. Good, had once
again triumphed over the
forces of evil.’’

“| remember,’’
Dan.

“‘But you may not know
the rest Captain. After the
final battle was over it was
discovered that some eight
or nine ‘supermen’ were
unaccounted for.’’

“What?’’ asked Dan in
surprise. ‘That wasn’t i the
history books.”’

“Would you reveal to
war-weary student. popula-
tions that some eight, or
nine Pinion and Surrey staff
were still alive? Think of
the confusion, think of the
panic; ."s.

“Yes,’’ leered Dan. ‘‘But
think of the fun! Now if |
may turn a phrase, take me
to their leader, and hand
me that bottle of purple
stuff. Do you know of any
good bars around here Mr.
Sulu?’’

“Well, on Rigel 7. . .’’

“Rigel 7! You can’t be
Sirius!’’

Meanwhile, down in
sick-bay Dr. McCoy (Pat
Worthington) was search-
ing frantically through his
medical supplies. ‘’Nurse!
Nurse!. Where is my

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medicinal brandy? And my
bottles of green stuff, red
stuff, and purple stuff?’’

   
      

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““Mr. Scott was in here

began Nurse Andrea Lloyd.

“Scotty! That whiskey-
drenched haggis-head! |
can’t operate without my
medicinal brandy, I’m a
doctor, not a teetotaler!’’

“Will you examine the
patient now,  doctor?’’
asked Andrea.

“I'd rather examine you
but if you think it’s
necessary I'll take a look at
him, mind you, | don’t
make house calls.’’ Wor-
thington examined a wrist
for signs of life. ‘‘Either
this man is dead or my
watch has stopped.’’

“Doctor;: that’s —.-my
wrist.’’

“| know that, ’’ re-
sponded Pat quickly. ‘‘I’m
a doctor, not- a mind
reader!’’ he examined the
patient; the man _ was
covered with red, white,
and blue crystalline struc-
tures that had erupted from
his skin. They rotated
rapidly on their axis’s
emitting a high-pitched
whine. ‘‘Well,’’ said Wor-
thington. ‘‘I don’t know
what he’s got, but | hope to
hell it’s not contagious.’’
Pat examined the contents
of the patient’s wallet.

cont'd on page 11

 

page five

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

iyour

Q. What is your reaction when newspapers resort to
yellow journalism?

Janice Prowse: | don’t like
it. Journalism should be
objective not subjective! 4

 

Arnie Vabasalu: | don’t

really care.

 

Ruth-Ann Stewart:
think it’s right!

| don’t

 

Kim Manning: Newspapers
will resort to anything to
sell newspapers . . . but it
can be used for effective
social comment.

 

 

 

oe

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