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Arts

 

 

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ands for you

By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

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[Sa SS a

n 2009, Chairlift scored a huge
[m= with “Bruises” thanks in

part to an iPod commercial. The
duo has since released their second
album Something, which came
out on January 24; obviously the
question here is, is there a “Bruises”
on this album?

Well, it appears the group “sold
out” before they reached popularity,
by which I mean “Bruises” does
not define this group’s sound
whatsoever. Not to say Something
doesn’t have a few gems, just
nothing nearly as marketable.
They’re a synth-pop band that likes
to keep things quiet; not too chill

 

Havana Theatre presents the best of the worst in literature

By Angela Espinoza, Arts Editor

good book can brighten your
A® maybe even give you
new outlook on life. But,
in its own way, a bad book can do
just the same. Such was the case for
Sara Bynoe, who, while living in the
U.K., discovered a book so terrible
that it gave her a brilliant idea.
Since 2010, her idea has flourished
into one of Vancouver’s most
entertaining comedy shows. Say
Wha?! Readings of Deliciously Rotten
Writing offers its audience only the
best in professional comedians and
humourists reading from the most
unprofessional works of literature.
While at the Havana Theatre
on Commercial Drive last Sunday,
I got the chance to see one of these
wonderfully ironic shows. Amongst
the sold-out audience were
returning fans and newbies alike,
all of which to some degree would
not have been able to guess what
was in store. Bynoe, who produces
and hosts each show, took to the
stage first with an absolute gem:
Modelland (2011) by Tyra Banks.
“This is the first in a trilogy,”
Bynoe begins, and already the
audience is howling; “It’s a mix
of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
meets Harry Potter meets Greek
mythology meets America’s Next
Top Model. Essentially the main
character is Tyra Banks, [here] her
name is Tookie De La Créme,”
yours truly is nearly crying by this
point, “and her dream—as with
everyone else in this whole world—
is to go to Modelland... all anyone
aspires to be is a model.”
Following Bynoe’s reading—

which included unintentionally
finding actual typos—comedian
Rachel Burns stepped up with
an autobiography by Kathie Lee

Gifford entitled, Just When I Thought

I'd Dropped My Last Egg (2009). The
centrepiece of this reading focused
on an unsettling, detailed account
of Gifford’s daughter asking about
her developing body-written
entirely for comedic effect. I won't
quote the passage, but I will leave
you with this: “If I prayed as much
as I pluck, I’d be the Dalai Lama...
if | were running for public office,
I would run on an anti-flatulence
platform... if [had a nickel for
every cork I popped, I’d own the
Betty Ford Center... so I guess
when you put it all together, I’d

CS en ier)
dio mie hm el

en

help book he’d initially bought for
himself called The Art of Talking to
Anyone (2005) by Rosalie Maggio;
the best piece of advice of course

“Ivan Decker brought back the laughs with a self-help book he’d
initially bought for himself called The Art of Talking to Anyone (2005)
by Rosalie Maggio; the best piece of advice of course being that to
end a conversion, you say, ‘Bye.”

be the hairless holy wine-soaked
owner of the fart-free Betty Ford
Center,”” a tense pause, “’But, I
wonder, would I be happy?’”

The show, split up into two
halves, featured five more readers
throughout the night. Up-and-
coming voice actor and comedian
Joshua Keir was on third with a
disturbing book he came across.
The book’s purpose was to use its
grotesque plot as a means of curing
the reader of any sexual fantasies
that may be deemed abnormal;

I would rather not leave the title

or the author’s name. Vancouver-
based comedian Ivan Decker
brought back the laughs with a self-

being that to end a conversion, you
say, “Bye.” Returning reader Lauren
McGibbon brought with her Birdy
(1978) by William Wharton, about
a man sexually obsessed with the
canaries he breeds (adapted into a
1984 film starring Nicolas Cage!).
Will Johnson followed with a brief
but unforgettable (and, of course,
sexual) excerpt from Freedom (2010)
by Pulitzer Prize-winning author
Jonathan Franzen. Finally, returning
reader Eric Fell closed the show
with one of the manliest novels
in a series of over 600 entitled The
Executioner: Detroit Deathwatch
(1976) by Don Pendleton.

It’s here that I should point

and not too restless, just the right
balance.

The best song on the album is
definitely “Amanaemonesia,” the
seventh track overall. While singer
Caroline Polachek is giving her
all on each song, it’s this one that
just screams harmony between
everything the band is going for; it’s
simply flawless. Not to say the rest
are “just okay,” but there’s so much
energy on “Amanaemonesia,” it’s
no wonder they chose it as their
next single. The only song that
comes close to reflecting it is “Met
Before,” ironically the following
track (and another single).

The album’s worth a listen, but
keep in mind it does tend to go all
over the place from track to track
(e.g. it starts out Rush and ends up
Blonde Redhead).

   

out that readings of, for example,
Modelland aren't intended to attack
a lifestyle of any sort. The event
mocks bad writing in general;
I'd like to believe everyone was
laughing because most of these
supposed authors clearly have
no idea what they’ve created.
Say Wha?! is a celebration of bad
literature in the same way one
would watch a bad movie with a
couple of friends; it’s a different
level of entertainment, and one
that’s an absolute blast if you’re
willing to get on board with it.

I'll be attending more of these
Say Wha?! performances in the
future, but until then, we have Teen
Angst Night, which is what Bynoe
described as being, “where adults
get up and read embarrassing
stuff they wrote when they were
teenagers (details below).”

What: Teen Angst Night

Where: Havana Theatre, 1212
Commercial Drive

When: Sunday February 12, 2012
Cost: $5