(¥ Newfound documents reveal mysterious YouTube ‘Prison Challenge’ (¥ Entertainment! ¥Y Comics! And more! Real life ‘Ratatouille’: A Coquitlam restaurant shut down after rat infestation > Does this health violation mean a squeakquel is on the way? Jacey Gibb Distribution Manager Somers better phone up Alfredo Linguini and change into their kitchen whites: An Italian restaurant in downtown Coquitlam was recently found to be “infested, beyond the point of control” with vermin, according to Vancouver Coastal Health. Patrons of Liam’s Pasta Bar, a staple in authentic, local Italian cuisine, were delighted to hear about the indefinite closure, immediately drawing parallels to the beloved 2007 animated film Ratatouille. “I wonder if Remy’s in there, cooking up some of his signature dishes,” Claire Fenton told the Other Press, as she clambered against the restaurant’s windows, eager to catch a glimpse of the innovative rat-turned-sous-chef. Fenton was among dozens of other diehard Pixar fans that immediately flocked to Liam’s Pasta Bar after the closure was announced last week. Several tents have since been erected on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant, with people saying they won't leave until they witness the adorable rat chefs for themselves. Coquitlam resident Sam Smith spent the night outside of Liam’s Pasta Bar, though he admits he’s never even seen Ratatouille. “My niece is a really big fan of the movie, and her birthday’s coming up,” Smith explained to the Other Press, while holding a rolled-up poster. “So I “TT bought this Ratatouille poster, and I’m hoping the rats can sign it for her. “I guess that’s just the magic of Pixar films: They bring people together.” Ratatouille follows the story of Remy, a young but resourceful rat with a knack for flavours and cooking. Through happy coincidence, he teams up with an inept garbage boy (Alfredo Linguini) to create signature dishes that are a hit all around Paris. After Vancouver Coastal Health’s damning report, legions of Pixar loyalists descended onto Liam’s Pasta Bar, eager to catch a glimpse of the next unlikely chef duos turning the Parisian restaurant scene upside down. Even Michael “Iron Spoon” Orthner, infamous food critic for the Tri-City News, was chomping at the bit, eager to have his icy heart melted like Anton Ego, the restaurant reviewer from Ratatouille. Photo illustration by Lauren Kelly “I’m ready to be transported back to memories from my childhood via the sense of taste,” declared Orthner, wondering what dish the rat colony would whip up to help conjure emotions long ago lost, only present in Orthner’s now-distant boyhood. The infestation has also sparked rumors that Pixar is gearing up fora Ratatouille 2, and that this whimsical health and safety violation is just a sneak peek at more magic to come. So far, Disney has failed to comment on the story, but it’s also become standard practice for their films to be shrouded in secrecy. With four of the five upcoming Pixar films untitled, it’s possible for a Ratatouille “squeakquel” to scamper into their schedule! Let’s hope you don’t have to wrestle a pack of rats to get a reservation at Liam’s Pasta Bar when it finally reopens for business—might we recommend trying the ratatouille? Doctors shocked by increasing number of unique amnesia cases In young people > ‘So many have forgotten what words such as ‘literally’ and ‘Hitler’ mean, say experts Klara Woldenga Humour Editor r. David Franklin has seen a lot in his 20 years as a Metro Vancouver general practitioner. However, according to him, this is the first time he has seen such an influx of unique amnesia cases in people below the age of 50. “Over the past few years it’s been to house call after house call,” Dr. Franklin told the Other Press. “And I don't even own a phone or a car. | don’t know how I’ve been doing it.” According to recent reports, 75 percent of those born between the years of 1985 and 2000 have been diagnosed with “word amnesia,” defined as the person’s inability to retain or accurately recall what specific words mean and how they work in conversation. “We have seen a rise in people forgetting very specific words and phrases,” said Dr. Franklin. “Literally Hitler’ is our most common example. I’ve heard it constantly being used when subjects describe someone or something they don’t like. I open up a dictionary and teach them what both those words mean, but they still continue to call others ‘Literally Hitler” It’s very disturbing.” So far, Vancouver word amnesia reports have hit over 5,000 this year, with the majority of cases coming in from Tumblr, Twitter, and Reddit. According to recent reports, these cases have slowly been seeping into classrooms, coffee shops, and workplaces. “I've tried everything,” local history teacher Joan Marin told the Other Press. “After I started hearing my students call others ‘Literally Hitler, I sat everyone down and explained who Hitler actually was: The dictator of Nazi Germany from 1934 to 1945. He initiated World War II and created the Holocaust. I then brought in the English teacher to explain what the word ‘literally’ meant.” Unfortunately, Marin’s efforts only lead to the students calling her, along with the English teacher, “Literally Hitler.” “Tt was really scary for a couple of moments,” Marin told reporters. “I thought that, for a second, I had fallen into a Twilight Zone-esque situation and had literally become Hitler. I thought about how I would explain to my friends and family that I was now, through no fault of my own, literally Hitler. Also, I thought about how I would have to get used to having such a stupid mustache. It was impossible to imagine solutions to both those things.” Luckily for Marin, this was only a flash-in-the-pan thought—once she looked in the mirror she realized that she was not, in fact, Adolf Hitler. “This is a really big problem,” Marin said. “I don’t want to bea dictator or anything, but I think we need a solution to this issue.” Common early signs include becoming extremely outraged at YouTube comments, saying “This is not a joke,” when it clearly is a joke, and saying “it’s a joke” when it’s clearly not a joke. “This disease affects so many people, especially the friends and family connected to those who have it,” Dr. Franklin told the Other Press. “Tt can be very scary to forget what words actually mean and how language actually works. If you see the first signs of this disease in yourself or a loved one, please call your doctor and schedule an appointment.” 2018 Summer Films Instant Reviews > Speedy reads for fast films Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist his summer, there were a lot of highly-anticipated films. Some of these films we were eagerly waiting for, and some were sequels we simply did not need. After these films were announced, we weren't sure how good they were going to be. Some were surprisingly great, some were very disappointing. We know that summer can be fast- paced, so to save you time, here are some one-sentence reviews of this year’s summer films. Because who wants to sit down quietly for two hours while watching a movie? The Avengers: Infinity War So far, the war is very sad. Solo: A Star Wars Story It might upset hardcore Star Wars fans—but I still think we should give Lando his own film. Ocean’s 8 It’s very fun and a strong, even number. Incredibles 2 A sequel that we didn’t need, but better than I thought it was going to be. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Pretty much the same as The Lost World: Jurassic Park—why do the dinosaurs have to fight? Ant-Man and the Wasp It’s better than the previous film simply because it has more insects. Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again Kinda sad... but the new songs are great so whatever. Teen Titans Go to the Movies Deadpool except appropriate for young children... so very much not Deadpool. Christopher Robin The same old bear except this time at a family reunion. Dog Days An ensemble comedy with dogs... yep.