Arts & Entertainment This Valentine’s Day, Give the Gift of Vibe By N. Wells H. woman needs a good vibrator. Being able to please yourself increases your sexual confidence, helps you communicate your needs, and relieves stress. And with midterms coming up, who couldn’t use some stress relief? In order to have a good time with toys, though, you need to know what you like. Sex toys can be expensive, and it’s not like there’s a “try before you buy” option. One of the more popular and well-known vibrators is the Rabbit. Since it was featured on Sex in the City it’s been the toy to own. But it can be costly (anywhere from $20-100, depending on features and quality), and it’s really not for everyone. The Rabbit is intense. In its most popular form, it has a vibrating, rotating shaft, meant for internal and g- spot stimulation. Its base is filled with moving beads, designed to tantalize the many nerves in those oh-so-sensitive first inches. And its namesake is a little rabbit whose ears will vibrate against your clitoris, theoretically offering you as much sensation as you can handle. The Rabbit may not meet your needs. If penetration isn’t your favourite way to get off, the shaft might be intimidating. And with it spinning around inside of you, you may be too overwhelmed to find that perfect position for a g-spot orgasm. The beads can also be a problem. They’re meant to stimulate a very sensitive area, and they’re not exactly gentle — they may pinch. Finally, with every piece trying to work together on areas that can be pretty small and sensitive, you might have a hard time positioning the whole thing in a way that gives you those promised fireworks. If the Rabbit works for you, it will work well. The higher-end models have controls for vibration and rotation speeds, and to turn the rotation on or off. This gives you control when you want to traditional vibrators, though — they’re designed phallically for a reason, and they aren’t easy to manage if you’re using them on your clit. One innovative choice is the Yoni Fingertip Massager. This toy is go faster, slower, shown off Canaane ec “Guys, don’t assume your . ae the Rabbit might girl wants something big exhibitionthese seem, it will give A o days, and with you stimulation and penetrative. good reason. where you need It’s clever, it, with impressive results. If penetration isn’t your thing you'll want to look elsewhere. There are a lot of options out there for women looking for external stimulation. Avoid quiet, and completely non-threatening. It consists of a tiny vibrator that straps around your finger, which attaches to controls that strap around your wrist. It will turn your finger into a vibrator, which is perfect for girls who like to play with their fingers. It’s also cheap, at $20-40, and easy to maintain. It isn’t perfect; the vibrations tend to disperse into your hand (and your thighs, if you like to clench them). But for the price, you can’t get a more tactile or controlled experience. One of the best external vibes is an innovation of German engineering called the Layaspot, by Fun Factory. It’s a bit pricier, running from $60-100, but it’s worth it. It’s extremely discreet and hardly looks like a sex toy at all (it even comes in a variety of designer colours). Butits best features are inits functionality. Its curvy design will fit your hand and your bits quite comfortably. Once you have it in position, you can enjoy its eight speeds and three patterns of vibration. Thanks to its small, ergonomic shape you'll be free to move it however you like. The controls are simple and easily in reach, so you can ramp the intensity up (or down) as you get into it. And it’s quiet and discreet, so you won’t need to work too hard to hide it from your roommates. These three vibes are some of the better ones for personal pleasure, but there’s a world of choice out there. Just keep in mind that what you’ll enjoy with toys will probably be similar to what you enjoy without them. And guys, don’t assume your girl wants something big and penetrative just because she loves what you do to her. Ask what she likes to do when she’s alone — if she’s not comfortable telling you, she probably wants something else this Valentine’s Day. Song of the Week “Alcohol and Pills” by Fred Eaglesmith By Pat MacKenzie S uperstar actor Heath Ledger’s death last week no doubt came as shock to many people. Even I, one who regards celebrity obsession through the eyes of antipathy, could not help feeling dismayed by Mr- Ledger’s sad and lonely passing brought on by booze and pills. Whatever it was he was battling, depression or addiction, all his fame and talent could not prevent his personal demons from consuming him. Touching upon this sentiment probably in the way only a country song can, Canadian alt-country singer Fred Eaglesmith’s “Alcohol and Pills” captures the notion that fame and wealth are very often not enough to hold back suffering and unhappiness. Eaglesmith’s song is a small history of popular entertainment, and in particular some of the major musical figures, from Hank Williams to Jimi 14 Hendrix, that died in their youth—all the victims of alcohol and pills. Musically, the song is mostly acoustic. Softly played guitar and mandolin is accompanied by a slide guitar and a rhythm section relegated to the background, while Eaglesmith’s voice mournfully wanders through the music like a priest at a funeral. Affecting a country twang, Eaglesmith sings “Hank Williams, he came up from Montgomery/With a heart full of broken country songs/Nashville Tennessee didn’t really understand him/ Cause he did things differently than the way that they were done/When he finally made it to the Grand Ol Opry he made it stand still/He ended up on alcohol and pills.” But not leaving the song simply as a sad story of people succumbing to their demons, Eaglesmith provides a commentary that points to the emptiness of fame and its ultimate inability to take away a person’s suffering: “Alcohol and pills, it’s a cryin’- shame/You think they might have been happy with the glory and the fame/But fame doesn’t take away the pain, it only pays the bills/And you wind up on alcohol and pills.” Although the title of the song points to a sensational subject, “Alcohol and Pills” is really about the underlying suffering that so many artists and talented people seem to live with. Pain and_ suffering being prerequisites for artistic brilliance is debatable, but the history of popular entertainment perhaps will always be blighted by the talented and too soon dead.