October 25, 2003

 

A Review of The Other Press Pub Night

L.T.G.
OP Contributor

So I got invited to a Douglas College pub night
hosted by The Other Press. Pd never been to
Douglas and thought it might be a good opportuni-
ty to score. I’ve also never gone to post-secondary
school and have missed out on years of college par-
ties and pub nights, so this was an important night
for me.

When I reached the top of hundreds of merciless
stairs that lead to the student union building, I heard
a disco beat coming from the room, accompanied by
wafts of body odour. I felt like I was in high school
again—nervous, overly inebriated by nine, and map-
ping out my escape roots in the event of an anxiety
attack. Two hot ladies dressed like German cowgirls
greeted me. They assured me the smell was coming
from the free Subway sandwiches. I stood in the cen-
tre of the party and looked around. Never in my life
had I ever seen so many geeks congregated in one
room at the same time. Every marginalized group I
can think of was present—the East Indian crew
shaking shoulders to Hindi pop songs, the greasy
metal-heads standing in their tight impenetrable cir-
cle, exchange students laughing at every stupid thing
anyone says because they don’t have a clue what
they're talking about. And there were even the chub-
by, white video game junkies, immersed in the six
out-of-date video games. I’ve always wondered why
people come to bars and clubs to play video games.
I can just see their conversation before-hand:

“He...hey Joseph. Let’s go to Douglas pub night.”

“I don’t know, do they have video games there?
*Cause I don’t want to meet people, or pick up
chicks, or drink beer or anything.”

“I go for the game, man.” (High-fives all
around...which is cool...because high fives will
always be cool, no joke).

There were a few guys with weird skin disorders,
and that ever-present cold and emotionless stoned
girl who always seems to be fed up with the party
and on her way out—but she never really leaves. I
went directly to the bar to sample the fine beverages
available—beer, both light and dark. Then I went to
the patio to bum smokes. It was obvious that hook-
ing up with the male gender was out of the question,
so I tried hitting on the editor of The Other Press.
She turned a cold shoulder to talk to some other
geeky members of her pretentious publication. Then
some pool jockey, in the peak of his ultimate game
of pool, came onto the patio and started accusing

 

this chick of dropping a ball in the pocket. He was
like, “you dropped a ball in the pocket didn’t you?”
And she said, “What? I didn’t do nothing.” He con-
tinued yelling and the chick looked like she was
going to cry. “My friend saw you,” he said. Then the
illusive mediator came out of nowhere and tried to
calm the situation. He said to the pool jockey, “it’s
just a game man.”

I felt his approach was unoriginal and mundane,
so I tried aggravating the pool jockey by laughing a
lot. He asked “was it you?” I said “yah, you got a
problem?” He just looked me up and down and
went back inside. Apparently dude lost the tourna-
ment of his lifetime. I hate to break off at the climax
of this account, but that was probably the most
interesting thing that happened at the Douglas
College pub night.

I went back inside to watch this greasy, long-
haired punk-guy pretend he was Kurt Cobain. I
attempted to start a mosh-pit, but everyone just
stepped back and looked confused, like I was a
Dutch girl introducing the clog to America for the
first time. Some guy put his finger into my shoulder
and said, “Don’t mosh with her,” pointing to what
seemed to be a girl. So I just head-banged by myself
for a while until I. got dizzy and nauseous.
Remember in high school when everyone would get
in a line, arms linked on shoulders, and head bang in
front of the 20-foot TV screen until it would go all
fuzzy from the static? Those were the glory days. So,
extremely dizzy, I attempted one last time to get up
the skirt of a cute Mennonite but was not at all taken
seriously. She was like, “you're so funny.” I thought
to say, “I’m not joking baby.” But it’s not that easy to
hit on women; when you are one. You get all cuddly
and she thinks you're best friends—then you can’t
take her home because that would jeopardize your
great friendship.

Anyways, the highlight of the night, aside from
the pool jockey incident of course, was the toilets.
Some fine engineering went into the toilets of
Douglas College. How do they get the seats to be so
form-fitting? Astounding.

In the end, my head didn’t go into the bowl, I did-
nt win the 50/50, nor did any male or female hottie
buy me a beer. My neck is sore now and I am alone.
All in all it was an excellent party, and I will surely
return for the next.

 

http://www.otherpress.ca

Opinions ¢ the other press ©

Give It to Me Straight

  

CF Miley
OP Contributor

If you haven't been stuck in a leg-hold trap for the last
two weeks, you've no doubt heard about the million-
dollar grudge match between the BC Liberals and the
Georgia Straight. Thankfully, after one front page edi-
torial from the Straights Dan McLeod, and less than 24
hours of public pressure, the Liberal tax grab was
exposed as the malicious, attempted muzzling that it
was. Claims that the Straight is, “not a newspaper”
were quickly rescinded, and yet a glaring shortcoming
in the definition of content categories for newspapers
remains.

In order to qualify for provincial sales tax exemp-
tions on printing costs, a newspaper must contain at
least 25 percent of genuine editorial content, with up
to 75 percent being allotted for advertising. The key
word here is “genuine.” Should the Straights “Time
Out” listings be considered genuine editorial content?

The “Time Out” sections are comprised of free pub-
lic listings for the current goings-on of the Vancouver
cultural scene. They include a broad range of
announcements—including gallery shows, public lec-
tures, and resource centres. They also include restau-
rant listings, NHL ticket information, and concert
information, for venues ranging from the Cobalt to
GM Place. These listings are compiled by the Straights
editorial staff, and include a brief description of most
offerings. Under the current either/or definitions,
these listings are either advertising or they are editorial
content. Many of the listings require but a brief updat-
ing from week-to-week, and surely the remainder are
much cheaper to compile than purchasing “genuine
editorial content” from freelance writers, cartoonists,
and photographers.

The rationale behind the provincial tax exemption is
to provide concrete guidelines to determine what is,
and what is not, a newspaper. The spirit of the exemp-
tion is to ensure that the public receives a guaranteed
amount of “news” in all newspapers. The “Time Out”
listings provide an excellent public service. Tens of
thousands of Vancouverites frequently check them
over to stay abreast of what’s going on around town.
“Time Out” provides a unique perspective on what the
city has to offer, and therefore constitutes a unique cat-
egory. They are not paid advertising, but they are not
really news stories either. They are “listings.”

If a third category of “listings” was adopted to
describe material that serves a function, yet isn’t news,
both sides could win. Instead of expanding the listings
to balance out any extra ads sold for a given issue, more
genuine content could be purchased from content pro-
ducers. “Time Out” would not. be alone in this new
classification—TV and radio listings, financial
exchange information, box scores, and any other
blocks of cut-and-paste information could all be reclas-
sified, opening the door for more “genuine editorial
content.”

Under this proposal, the Liberals could get some of
the egg off their face. The Straight could serve the pub-
lic with free listings, provide staff and freelance con-
tributors with more opportunities to be published
(and therefore, paid), and keep their well-deserved
newspaper status. The BC Liberals want to pretend
they didn’t try to put the financial kibosh on one of
their loudest detractors, but maybe there is something
to be gained from this whole mess. Wouldn’t it be great
to find a solution that’s better for the government, bet-
ter for the Straight, better for the content producers,
and better for the public?

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