the ther Press Volume 23 ® Issue 10 * November 11 1998 Room 1020-700 Royal Avenue New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 submit@op.douglas.be.ca Fax 525.3505 or 527.5095 David Lam Campus Room a3107 Phone 527.5805 The Other Press is Douglas College’s autonomous student newspaper. We've been pub- lishing since 1976. The Other Press is run as a non-hierar- chical collective, which means that if anything goes wrong, blame it on Trent. The OP is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters and monthly [as a magazine] during the sum- mer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected every semester at registra- tion, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a cooperative of student newspapers from across Canada. We adhere to CUP’s Statement of Common Principles and Code of Ethics. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what to pub- lish, and what not to publish, but usually we print every- thing, unless it is racist, sex- ist or homophobic. If you have any quibbles with what we choose, maybe you should get your lazy butt down here and help. Coordinators Athletics ~ Hamish Knox sports@op. douglas. bc.ca Athletics Assistant: Culture ~ Jochen Biertumpel a&e@op.douglas.bc.ca Culture Assist: Coquitlam ~ Lorenzo Sia coq_coordinator@op.douglas.bc.ca Coq. Assist: Holly Keyes CUP Liaison ~ Cathy Tan cup@op.douglas.bc.ca CUP Assist: Jennifer Swanston Distribution ~ Pierre Florendo Dist. Assist provided by: Features ~ Annette Martin features@op.douglas.be.ca Feature Assist: News ~ Homan Sanaie news@op.douglas.bc.ca News Assist: OP/Ed ~ Tom Laws opinions @op. douglas. bc.ca OP\Ed Assist: Dunnohername Photography ~ Dave Tam photo@op.douglas.bc.ca Photo Assistant: Kristina Holtz Production ~ Joanna Cole production_co@op.douglas.bc.ca Production Assistants: Webslinger ~ Mark Smeets op_web@op.douglas.bc.ca Web Assistant: Employees Advertising ~ John Morash ad@op.douglas.bc.ca Bookkeeping ~ Zahra Jamal Production Resource ~ Joyce Robinson production @op.douglas.bc.ca Editorial Resource ~ Corene McKay corene@mortimer.com Contributors New Westminster: Jason Humber, Jason Rochon, Holly Keyes, Tom’s Chemistry Homework, Sean Clark, Pepsi, Jamie Woods, Derek Chezzi (just because), Jennifer Sim, Adrienne Lindsay. For this issue’s contributors who weren't included here, see next issue. We're tired. We wanna go home. 10. Wooly your mammoth 9: Pardon your Nixon 8. Postmark a package for goo master general 7. Dip your theria e Ling your:cod 1. Take out your captain's log, check your dilithium crystals to ensure a full Letter Tam currently in charge of the central library of Sejong University. Our University was established fifty years ago, and now is one of the major universities in Korea with more than 6,000 students and 200 faculty members. I am writing this letter to ask you to send our library the most recent following publications of your authority load, make sure her photon torpe- dos are fully armed and her docking bay is sery- iced, put up your shields, set your weapon for “stun” and fire away. boy and me?” % ad ~ oat Institute : Other Press. Those materials will be utilized , by faculty members and students of Sejong University who have strong ‘interests in your distinguished insti- tute and academic development. Those materials will be preserved in our university library as long-lasting and very valuable assets. I hope this request may not be “Who would know better about &. Romantic interlude (except synonyms for sex than ‘cigar’ Top Ten Synonyms for Sex (female version) romance, just boinking) 5. A special action between t people who care deeply for o} another (yeah, in a perfect world. Lousy men) 4. Intercourse (even though al 10. Making love (with some bastard who doesn‘ really care about me) 9. Love making (even though the guy doesn’t want any commitment) 8. Having an inti- he knows is “In, out, repeat nauseum” 3. Love touching (even though it's hard to tell you've been “touched” at all when the “touch” only lasts one minut max) mate moment (even though he'll just roll over and snore the minute he's done) 7. Special moment (not special to him, just another notch in his belt) 2. Slipping between the sheets (more like him slipping and fumbling to get it up after drinking a couple beers) 1. God damn it I’m horny! Where's my vibrator? In Flanders’ Fields (with huge apologies to John McRae) that he doesn’t care about In the Flanders’ field the pop-didely-oppies grow Between the Lord’s crosserinies row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The Leftorium blessed by God on high Scarce heard above Homer's belches below. We are the dead-aly edaly. A day ago or toodle We loved God, felt Maude, saw Homer's doodle Loved thy neighbour the Simpsons who live beside Our Flanders’ fields. Take up our quarrel with the Big H neighboureeno Whose hedonistic ways we give the old heave-ho The torch: just like Beth Chadruharazzeb Who broke faithily daithily with Lovejoy’s head We shall not sleep a sec-decaly-econd with Homer living Beside our Flanders’ fields’ too troublesome for you, and look forward to hearing from you very soon. Editor’s note May God bless you and your See how lucky all you students of institute. Douglas College are? The Other Pre Sincerely yours, world class newspaper, and you Lee, Sang-Ho _ it every week for free. Donations Director of Central Library be sent to Rm. 1020, New West Sejong University Campus. Seoul, Korea WHEN WORMS GO FISHING BURSA TIAS HE SENT Down To PICK UPA TOARIE AND NEXT THING Page 2 November 11 1998 The Other Press