Ah, the 1980s, the decade of high fashion and
great music. If only it was still okay to crimp our
hair, wear Popeye pants, maybe a pair of those
rad jelly shoes and bee bop a loo she bop
down the street with our boss ghetto blasters.
It's a shame that it isn't still fashionable to wear
the tightest Levi's possible, no matter how
skinny or chunky we are, wrap a million jelly
bracelets on our wrist, maybe a sweat band for
style, and not give a shit about how the
excessive use of aerosol hairspray (to hold in
the crimping and teasing in our hair of course)
is depleting our ozone layer The largest thing
we pondered, as we drank our Jolt, was who's

 

 

If we could just capture their
essence of cool and store it ina
bottle, and only take it out on
special occasions...

We didn't have time to think about how the
national debt was going to fuck us all when we
wanted to retire or that computers were going
to take over our whole way of life. Oh, but |
digress, because really the ‘80s were an amazing
musical decade, inventing what we now call
‘Glam rock’ or ‘fluff rock’ The ‘80s also
introduced to us the ingenious breakdancing,
which is still a hot commodity today, and
created perhaps the most hideous fashions to
ever exist (and strangely enough will exist again
someday, as we all know fashion repeats itself).
So take this journey through time and see
how well you fare in our music quiz and other |

 

going to rent Revenge
of the Nerds for their
cool BETA system.

I. Suckin’ on chili dogs

 

outside the Tastee-Freez

Below are 79 lines from ’80s pop music songs. Your job is to
guess the song and artist of each. Hint: No two songs are by
the same artist, and all were produced between 1980-1989.
The average person should be familiar with almost all of the
songs, if he/she owned a radio in the 80s. Good luck!

such cheesy ‘80s
nostalgia.

9. I can hear you comin,

 

 

2. Ooh baby, do you know 5. Your mom threw ary:

what that’s worth? ee best Poe me

6. And when we hear the

3. There’s a freeway runnin’ ;
voices sing, the book of

through the yard

4. I've seen a million faces love will open up and let

_ and I've rocked them all ve
AZ
mE July 1998 Page 12 1980s

a
y a Was

I know what you're after

,
7. One that won't make me {Ov Anal it's ere see wee

i
nervous, wonderin’ what immune when fact is fic-

tion and TV reality
II. Food is served and

youre stone cold

to do
8. Are you more than hot
for me, or am I a page in

your history itech