INSIDE DOUGLAS COLLEGE / MARCH 6, 1990

 

 

Women on their own

a: our couple-oriented society,
single women who are on their
own often suffer from low self-es-
teem and feel like second class
citizens.

But this doesn’t have to be the
case, says counsellor Louise
Moreau, whose private practice in-
cludes counselling and workshops
for women. Instead, being single

and on your own can provide new
choices and opportunities.

In a four-part course offered
at Douglas College in New
Westminster, women who are
divorced, separated, widowed or
alone by choice have the chance to
get together to discuss common is-
sues. The course runs March 7, 14,
21 and 28th.

 

 

Grief help offered at College
ES, veryone eventually suffers the
loss of a relative or close friend.
The impact of such an emotional ex-
perience can be devastating.

"We live in a sort of ‘death
benign’ culture," says psychologist
,, Denis Boyd. "The subject of death

* or dying is generally shielded away
from. It makes it difficult for people
to share their feelings and thus
diminish their grief."

Boyd, who wrote his masters
thesis on grief-related problems, is
offering a one-day workshop at
Douglas College on March 8 called
Living Through Grief. Boyd co-founded B.C.’s first volunteer palliative
care program 15 years ago.

"The workshop is not just for the bereaved," he says, "but also for
those who want to comfort a grieving person and don’t know how.
Mourners aren’t the only ones who will benefit. People who want to be
better prepared and more comfortable in dealing with the issue will also
benefit."

Boyd will offer practical suggestions on what to say and what not to
say to a grief-stricken person. There are healthy and unhealthy forms of
grief, he adds. Participants will be taught how to recognize and avoid
self-destructive emotions that draw-out and intensify the grieving
process, or lead to depression and excessive guilt.

Participants will learn not to fear some of the thoughts and emotions
they may experience when dealing with grief, and they will learn to un-
derstand that their feelings are normal.

Factors influencing individual grief reactions will also be examined
and discussed.

The one-day Living Through Grief workshop runs from 9 a.m. to 4
p.m. Thursday, March 8 at the College. The registration fee is $30. To
enroll call 527-5472. @

  

 

 

 

 

“Participants will come up with
coping strategies to help them deal
with their problems," Moreau says.

The question of identity is one
issue shared by women on their
own. "Women on their own are not
given the same status as women
who are in relationships and fulfill-
ing the traditional roles of mother
and wife," Moreau says. "So often
there’s low self-esteem associated
with being on your own, by virtue
of how society sees you. In the
workshop, we break down some of
those stereotypical ideas and try to
challenge them."

Participants are encouraged to
move away from the negative
aspects of being on their own, and.
examine positive aspects of being
single. For example, Moreau says
women on their own can make
their own decisions and decide
what they really want. They can be-
come more "self-focussed instead
of other-focussed."

In the workshop, the women
also look at common emotional is-
sues. "Loneliness is one of the key
issues," Moreau says. "Often
women on their own lose their net-
work of friends they had before be-
coming single. You have to
establish new links with people,
and this can be hard, especially if
you haven’t done it in a while."

Other issues discussed in the
workshop include safety and finan-
cial matters. Participants will give
each other a tremendous amount of
support and validation of their life-
styles, says Moreau. "Women must
learn to use the experience of being
on their own as a time of oppor-
tunity," she adds.

The workshop, Women On
Their Own, is slated for Wednesday
evenings, March 7, 14, 21 and 28
from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. The cost is
$43. For more information call 527-
5472. @

A SE a TENN ARCH T  Te HRNTON ET HCE