issue 01 / volume 41

 

Man ‘shares a Diet Coke this summer’

» Destroys long-term relationship while using less-than-one calorie

a : Facebook. Sawyer Swift, 32,
Sharon Miki lovingly arranged seven cans of
TT OMaECitor : 1s gir renc sa “time avourite
Reintnnenn : beverage, Diet Coke, in their
@theotherpress.ca : fridge to spell out a special

; . : message for her:
Vancouver man is receiving : “Jessica: I'm Sorry. I Can't.

viral acclaim today after : It’s Over”
pictures of his ultra-creative : Images of the gesture

use of the latest Diet Coke : have already received several
marketing promotion hit :

 

 

: hundred “likes” on the social
: media site, which totally means
: that people really, truly like it.

The aforementioned

: Jessica Kleincalm, 27, returned
: home from work Monday and
: found her boyfriend excitedly
: hovering around the kitchen.

“I opened the fridge and my :

: first reaction was, ‘Oh, good!

: He bought me some Diet Coke! :
: But then I realized what the

: cans were really saying. I was
: pretty devastated. I mean, I

: was betrayed by the thing I love :
: most! Diet Coke, that is. Sawyer :
: isn’t that great.” :

Swift, to his credit,
: envisioned the gesture as

: loving. “I wanted to soften the

humour // 23

blow of losing me with some

: cool, crisp refreshing flavour.”

Kleincalm is currently

: in the process of moving in

to a new apartment—and
restocking her new fridge.
“From now on, I'll

only drink Diet Pepsi,” said
: Kleincalm, coolly, while sipping
: her soda in the shade.

“What do you mean,
‘no smoking?”