opinions // 20

Commercial and exploitive for
singles and couples alike

» Why Valentine's Day is horrible

Cazzy Lewchuk
Staff Writer

 

very year, chocolates,

flowers, and heart-shaped
everything come out at the
earliest opportunity. The
restaurants have their specials,
the radio stations play even
more love songs, and there’s
a general feeling of love in
the air. It’s Valentine’s season,
a time to really make your
romantic partner feel special.
Singles every year lament its
existence by drinking wine
and complaining on Facebook
(don't be that guy).

This holiday isn’t just
horrible for those who don’t

have someone to celebrate with. :

For many couples, Valentine’s
Day can bea time of pressure,
stress, or even anger. There’s
huge pressure on those who

: are in relationships during

: the season, since a person’s

: devotion to their significant

: other is measured by the

: present or surprise that they

: gave them.

: This is especially

: problematic for inexperienced
: or new couples. Someone who
: has never been ina relationship
: during Valentine’s Day may be
: very unclear about what to do
: and what the other expects.

: Similarly, one might not know
: what to expect or how to

: behave. It can be an awkward

: conversation to bring up: “What !
: Day is a reminder that they are
: lonely. What’s more damaging
: is the societal pressure to

: have a date for Valentine’s

: Day. Dating should not be

: rushed. It only leads to damage
: later on. Desperately seeking

: someone to have dinner with

: do you want for Valentine’s

: Day?” And I’m sure the holiday
: has led to many arguments

: and disappointments. This is

: also true if two people are at

: an awkward stage of dating.

: Maybe they aren't exclusive yet
: or maybe they aren’t really sure

: what their relationship is. We've :
: upon February 14 is, again,

: all been there at one point or

: another. Valentine’s Day creates :
: that pressure to measure a :
: relationship based on material
: acts and goods.

It’s a Hallmark holiday. It’s

: a holiday used by businesses to
: sell lots of chocolates, flowers,
: meals, and condoms. You

: should do something special

: for your romantic partner for

: the relationship’s own sake.

: You shouldn't take them to

: dinner because ofadayonthe :
: calendar; you should take them :
: because you genuinely want to :
: have a romantic evening.

As for singles, Valentine’s

or finding a last-minute hook-

: meaningless.

Dating is a serious thing

: that’s already hard enough.

: There’s no rulebook when it

: comes to relationships, every
: single one is different. Love

: should never be forced. Practice :

theotherpress.ca

 

Image from Thinkstock

: loving whoever it is you love

: whenever—not just on February
: 14. If you look for it, I’ve got a

: sneaking feeling you'll find that
: love actually is all around, every
: day of the year.

 

You can't level up 1n love

» Why we shouldn't determine end goals for relationships

Elliot Chan
Opinions Editor
© opinions
@theotherpress.ca

We we enter a
relationship, it’s easy to

start fantasizing about all the
possibilities. We all have our
own reasons for developing a
romantic bond with another
person. Perhaps we want to get
married, have children, and live
a fated life. That has been the
traditional route for romance
for many generations, but the
mentality for many is less about
mutual growth and more about
levelling up in the game of life.
More and more I’m seeing
couples treat their relationship
with the same undertone as
someone talking about their
career. If marriage is simply a
promotion, to me, it’s incredibly
disturbing. Sure, a wedding is a
wonderful party where grandma
is invited, but with all respect, it
does not symbolize adulthood
or ultimate satisfaction.
Relationship milestones
should not be determined
by a single night of partying,
wedding rings, and cheesy vows;
it should happen organically.
First dates, first kisses, buying
new furniture together, and

: surviving an argument are

: examples of milestones, but
: are rarely celebrated because
: arelationship is exclusive.

: Only two people would

: have experienced it. It’s not

: something to brag about. It’s
: not something to prove.

If you enter a relationship

with the objective of getting

: married or having children,

: youre imposing milestones

: for your own life and not

: necessarily for your partner’s.

: Such behaviour can rather

: create ultimatums or cause

: you to live in a dysfunctional

: partnership.

: Sometimes a romantic

: relationship can feel like a

: blessing, sometimes it can feel
: like a compromise, and other
: times it might even feel like a
: sacrifice. If you love a person,
: but you feel as though the

: relationship needs to move to

the next level for some reason— :
: be it moving in, getting married, : |

or having children—then I beg
: you to reconsider. Although

; people may look at you as if

; you are some sort of pariah or

: failure for not achieving those
outcomes, don’t fret because

: outsiders don't know shit about
: your relationship.

Dont let other people

 

 

control how you behave with

: your loved one, because

: different people have different

: values. And you and your

: partner must figure out your

: values together without the

: interference of friends, families,

 

: co-workers, and even critics

: like myself. I don’t know how

: two people behave when they're
alone together; all I know is that
: if you enter the first date, answer :

: a personal ad, or kiss someone
: with the intention of achieving

 

 

some “life goal” you'll be gravely
; disappointed. Building a
: relationship is the goal. There is

nothing more but the moments
you share together. You will

: never be able to level up, so feel
: satisfied in the moment.