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Suburban Graffiti

Getting Out:

>>> OPINIONS

A Material Girl in the Non-Textile World

Dawn-Louise McLeod
OP Columnist

| put my van into four-wheel drive and headed up
a North Vancouver mountainside. It’s one of this
crappy summer's crappiest days, but | am doing
first-hand research on a topic | have won-
dered about since childhood, when I'd flip
surreptitiously through my dad’s secret stash of
Playboy magazines. I’m going to an open house.
Not just any open house, but that of the Van Tan
club. This club, established in 1939, is a venerable
non-profit organization for those who like to swim,
play, camp, smoke, drink, and even tan—naked.

| have prepared for my Van Tan visit by checking
out their website and reading related websites.
My personal experience of social nudity is limited
to the bathhouses of Tokyo, the beaches of
Germany, and the hippie parties of Cortez Island.
| find out about nude etiquette (always place a
towel under you) and about nude statistics
(approximately 50% of nudists smoke), all of
which | take with a grain of salt. | read about
pseudonudists (some people like the atmosphere
but avoid stripping) and learn some terminology
(the opposite of a nudist is a textile). | skim through
rants by self-appointed clothing police who think
that at a nudist club full nudity should be manda-
tory.

As | drive up the mountainside, | worry about
what I'll find. For years | had a recurrent nightmare

 

of being naked in public. | equated social nudity
with being demeaned. And yes, it can be demean-
ing and humiliating if it is not mutual, because
clothing shields us. War aggressors strip their
prisoners prior to executing them. Guards strip
felons before incarcerating them. Murderers strip
their victims before slaying them. And yet | choose
to exercise my free will by being nudist-for-a-day.

| am aware that most women do not make such
a choice of their own accord, or independently. Will
| turn out to be a pseudonudist, refusing to bare
all? Worse yet, will others not play fair by keeping
their clothes on? At the moment of
reckoning, will | decide my body is not fit, that my
spare tires have ballooned from bicycle to monster
truck size? Will | jam because | have nothing to
wear?

In summer, North Americans traditionally strip
down to a couple of pieces of cloth and strut
around in the heat. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating.
In the suburbs, we matrons wear the Mommy
swimsuit—full coverage, with built-in bra, boylegs,
and maybe a little skirt, all in some garish colour
combo. Heaven forbid we wear a cellulite and
stretch mark revealing bikini.

I’m here to tell you that—Mommy suit or bikini—
those couple of pieces of cloth really do make a
difference; once you remove them, you venture
into an alternative culture and lifestyle.

Never a paragon of fashion, many hours of my
life and liberty have been spent in the pursuit of

clothing. Apparel is like junk food for the body, and
it's the easiest and most public form of self-
expression. So deciding to try social nudity is
a fashion challenge. How best to make a visual
impact using only footwear, headgear, sun-
glasses, jewelry, cosmetics, and hairstyle?

Social nudity, however, doesn’t seem to be about
making a visual impact. Its more about
putting everyone on the same level, without
distinction or marks of class. This interpretation
makes sense since, according to my research,
nudists are often blue-collar workers. It’s also
about comfort. No worries about being dressed
correctly or according to the latest fashion, or
about inadvertently revealing the secret portions
of one’s anatomy. No worries about clothing being
inappropriate, revealing, in fashion, or ironed.

I's a chilly morning, and contrary to nude
etiquette, | retain my clothing. | do have my towel,
though. | walk down from my car, anticipating the
interception of a burly barrier to textile entry, like
some guy is going to stand in my path and say,
“Hey! Take off your clothes!” But when | get to
poolside, everyone is fully dressed at poolside.
Although this is disappointing, | am glad that |
have not heeded web advice.

Our hosts make introductions and give us a tour
of the property. Though there is no clubhouse, it’s
a simple but beautiful facility, for those who enjoy
nature. There is an ample deck, a solar-heated
pool, a fire-fed sauna, maintained grounds with a
pretty outlook from the bluff, and relaxed and
good-humoured people. Many people have driven
in from other suburbs in the Fraser Valley. There
are a few children, though almost everyone else is
over 40. \

After the tour everyone sits around expectantly,
drinking coffee and waiting for the sauna to warm
up. We look at the photo and clippings albums,
and read newsletters and brochures from this and
other clubs. | seem to be the only unattached
female (but my research has prepared me for
this). I’m reminded of a party where everyone
wants to dance but no one wants to be the first to
make move. Finally, | can no longer stand the
suspense. “Oh, heck’, | say, and stand up and pull-
off my clothes. Surprisingly, a large number of oth-
ers instantly follow suit—birthday suit that is.
Before | know it I’m sitting in the sauna with seven
naked guys. Now, | know that social nudity is not

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