The “Other” News John McCain chooses the smokin’ Sarah Palin 2 as running mate By Liam Britten hunter” demographic. beasts should be released!” LL, a surprise move last Thursday, Republican presidential nominee John McCain nominated Sarah Palin to be his running mate. The move is notable as Sarah Palin is an almost complete unknown on the political scene, as well as a total fox. “Sarah Palin’s nomination may have a unifying effect on the Republican Party,” wrote conservative blogger William Smith. “If you ask me, Republicans will find her nomination both refreshing and arousing.” Indeed, Palin’s nomination is enjoying high levels of support from Republicans across the country. While 63% of Republicans agree with the statement “Sarah Palin would make a good vice-president,” a startling 91% agree with the statement “I would hit that fo’ sho” The selection of Palin is seen as an attempt to make the party more palatable to lower-middle class straight male voters aged 18-29, known as the “MILF- in young voters, a trend is developing amongst middle- aged voters, who see her as a positive influence on teenagers. “My teenaged boy Alex used to go on all kinds of naughty websites, with all kinds of naughty pictures,” said Margaret Warner, a mother of three. “But now, whenever he goes into the computer room with a box of Kleenex, he’s just going to websites with Sarah Palin pictures, which I must say is much better for a boy of his age.” Sarah Palin, after speaking at the Republican National Convention, is expected to begin hitting the campaign trail in support of John McCain. Her first stop will be a Rhode Island strip club, where she will be entering a wet t-shirt contest. ( One such MILF-hunter, Mike Alderman of Baltimore, said he approved of the selection. “T know it may be illegal to attack a politician,” said Alderman after drinking a Jagerbomb. “But as far as I know, cougar hunting is still very legal!” Added Alderman: “Cou-gar! Cou-gar! Cou-gar!” According to Ipsos-Reid polling, voters like Alderman respond positively to her stances on limiting government spending, family values, and the fact that she has legs up to her neck. However, the Alaskan governor was faulted for her position on bras; namely, that she continues to wear one. “Free the Fairbanks Two!” said Alderman. “The While Palin’s appeal has so far been seen primarily That same guy interrupts lecture AGAIN sy tiss:ven Die same guy who keeps raising his hand during lecture and talking about things the prof wasn’t even talking about did it again last Thursday. Kyle Gerhardt, popularly known as “that guy,’ interrupted a Political Science lecture at Douglas College being given by Darin Nesbitt on the subject of Canadian federalism, and spoke at length on his feelings about the North American Free Trade Agreement, despite the fact that free trade was not to be covered in the course until several weeks later. “That guy went on for like, 10 minutes about what he thought about Americans,” said fellow student Mark Waterston. “If this was high school, I would’ ve definitely beaten him up and taken his lunch money.” Frequent interruptions by that guy are nothing new for Nesbitt’s Introduction to Political Science class. Attendees have listened to his opinions about issues unrelated to subject matter at hand, and even unrelated to political science in general, such as his well-known story about how the federal gun registry is just like Gattica, the 1997 science fiction film, complete with a plot synopsis and soundtrack commentary. The story only ended when that guy forgot the point of the story, and “basically just told us why it ‘kicked ass,’” according to classmate Karen Park. “Man, I’m glad he lost his train of thought,” said Park. “His talk about why communism is like 1984 was the worst; of course communism is like 1984/ That’s the whole point of 1984!” “T think I’m usually pretty on the money,” that guy said about his frequent interjections. “After all, isn’t the point of lecture to engage in discourse and things about the subject and such?” Fellow students have rejected that guy’s assertion about the point of lecture. Some students have said that the point of lecture is to “listen to the prof and go home,” with others saying the point is to “just fucking listen to the prof and go home.” " That guy, however, is not fazed by his classmates’ negativity. “So what if there’re a few people who don’t think communicating in a positive way is a good thing?” that guy asked. “If we didn’t communicate in a positive way, there’d be a lot of problems that we couldn’t, like, talk through and stuff, and I mean, that seems like a really negative way for us to go forward as a society as much as to—“ , That guy was only stopped by Professor Nesbitt’s request for him to “shut up and stop wasting the class’ time.”