December 12, 1973

To the Editor
The Mad Hatter

bear six Maloum

I was greatly impressed by George Porges' recent proposals for the

transformation of Canadian politics. Unfortunately, Mr. Porges, like

Mr. Elmes before him, has overlooked the one vital ingredient for

domestic tranquillity - trouble abroad. And as we all know, the recent

innovative, experimental solution to this problem, of calling Quebec «
sort of "abroad," and having trouble there, has not worked. The reason

for this, very simply, is that Quebec is physically contiguous with the

rest of Canada. Thus, a querulous Quebec has not resulted in a contented

Canada.

In order to deal with this situation, I propose that Mr. Porges' very

positive suggestion for the United Free and Competitive Enterprise

Rhinoceros Majority Movement of Canada (UFACERMMOC) be accepted and

that the first plank in the party platform be to annex Wales. Wales

is undoubtedly capable of providing enough trouble for Canada to keep

Canada contented for years, thereby performing the same function for

Canada that Ireland performs for England. Also, most importantly, Wales

is not contiguo vith Canada. And further, since there is a vigorous liberty
movement in Wales presently active, they would benefit by being able to

play off the English against the Canadians for their own ultimate betterment.
Canada would thus be providing an altruistic service overseas (totally in
keeping with its tradition, and perhaps even leading eventually to a peace-
keeping force stationed there) whilst at the same time ensuring peace at

home. I suggest that the name of the Unitec rree and Competitive Enterprise \
Rhinoceros Majority Movement of Canada (UFACERMMOC) be changed to "The

United Free and Competitive Enterprise Rhinoceros Majority Movement of Canada

and Welsh Freedom Movement" (UFACERMMOCAWFM) and that an immediate start be

made on this most promising programme.

Lastly, however, I would suggest that Lloyd George would make a better
leader than Mr. W.A.C. Bennett, he having been dead a good bit longer.

Yours sincerely

The Leader

Douglas College Welsh Association

P.S. I can inform you that, although this proposal has not yet been

submitted to the Association's membership, it will be unanimously
ratified shortly in the usual manner.