QyOT Vikizg—

Dealing with iong-distance relationships

BY Duncan ringarson

August 21 this year was a
significant day for me; it
marked the beginning of the
end of a seven-year long-
distance relationship. Not
the relationship, though,
just the “distance” bit. Seven
years is a long time to go
with only being able to see
your significant other once or
twice a year. Two thousand
miles is a very long way to
go to see them. You see, my
girlfriend is from Florida.

We met, as many do
these days, over the internet.
Technology is great, allowing
people to meet, talk to, and
strike up friendships—or
relationships—with those
who share similar interests.
The internet brings us
closer together, but only
metaphorically. Physically,
the trip to Florida twice a
year was still a long and
expensive distance to travel.
Long-distance doesn’t have
to be all that long, though.
Somewhere as close as
Vancouver Island counts just
as easily, costing a day of
travel and a couple hundred
bucks to visit just the same.
500 kilometers or 5000,
it’s still a barrier, and not an
insignificant one. You need to
find ways to deal with that.

There are a few major

pitfalls involved in long
distance, the first also being
the biggest; it is categorically
not for everyone. Being
apart from someone you
love is hard, and requires
a certain amount of trust
and independence from
both parties. You need to
be comfortable occupying
your own time. If you're the
sort of person who wants to
go on a date to the movies
every other weekend, you
might struggle a little if
the person you want to go
with lives in a different city,
time zone, and country.
Have a schedule. This
might not be easy, but it
doesn’t need to be exact. Let
the other person know when
youre going to be around
if they want to talk, and
find out when they’re free.
If you're at school or work,
that’s what you want to be
focusing on. When your're at
home and you’ve got time to
talk, let them know when that
is. Don’t forget to adjust for
time zones. The East Coast is
three hours ahead of us, and
there’s nothing worse than
coming home at 10 p.m. after
a long day hoping to have a
nice chat with your partner,
only to find out they went to
bed hours ago because you
forgot it’s one a.m. there.

Just like in a more typical
relationship situation, it’s
important to do things
together. Skype was huge
for me, though there are
other voice chat options
if Skype isn’t your thing.
Being able to see the other
person and hold a normal
conversation at standard
speed is a big deal. This is
the age of text messaging,
but sometimes texts just
aren't fast enough, and they
always lack the contextual
body language and tonal
clues people naturally look
for. So if you’re going to try
the distance thing, figure out
a way to talk. Communication
is an important part
of any relationship.

Just being there is
important, too. You can
watch Netflix together,
provided you both have
Netflix and a good enough
connection. Play video games
with your significant other,
or read the same book. If
youre talking as much as
you should be, you'll run out
of things to say sooner or
later—bring in some stuff you
can both do and talk about
without necessarily being in
the same physical location.

Speaking of physical
location, always, ALWAYS be
planning your next visit. At