Have an idea for a story? Let us know!

Contact: Chandler Walter, Humour Editor
4 humour@theotherpress.ca

(¥Y Trudeau proposes electoral reform

(¥Y New year, new me

(¥Y Don’t use the brand’s name in vain

And more!

Legitimacy of winners called into question

» ‘Family Feud’ contestants demand a recount

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor
© humour@theotherpress.ca

ollowing the devastating yet

hilarious mix up at the Miss
Universe pageant last December,
when Steve Harvey wrongly
crowned the runner-up, many
contestants from Harvey’s game
show Family Feud are calling
into question the legitimacy
of their own televised losses.

“If he could get something

as simple as that wrong, who’s
to say he hasn’t misunderstood

“T think the whole damn

thing is rigged anyways,” said
: Brown. “Why the hell wouldn’t
: you want to bring peanuts on a
: picnic? I do it all the time! That
: Steve Harvey fella must have
: gotten something all wrong.”

The Brown family are not

: the only ones hoping to gain

: some redemption—or prize

: money—in the wake of Harvey’s
: recent mix up. “I just think after
: something like that, no one

: should trust a word that comes

: out of that man’s mouth, or that
: ever has, for that matter,” said

: didn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten

: so infuriated, or have spent that
: time in prison. Steve Harvey

: stole my life from me, and |

: demand action from the courts
: to rectify this situation.”

Striker also stated that, if

: the legal system doesn’t find a

: way to crown his family as the

: winners of the game show, there
: are some friends he made while
: doing his time that may have

: some influence in the matter.

: “One way or another, that

: $3,200 prize money is mine.”

Multiple court cases have

 

This issue:

 

 

who the winner would be in : Jim Striker, the father of the : been set up, and hours of Family : Fy
a much more complicated : Striker clan. Striker had gained —_: Feud footage is to be watched 3
system, like the points in Family 4 small amount of Internet fame by Canada’s Supreme Court ©.
Feud?” asked Stacy Brown, the : after attempting to violently : judges over the next few weeks. g
mother from the Brown family, ! attack the young children of : “No matter is more pressing : =
which suffered a humiliating : the family that beat them in ; than clearing the reputation : watching Family Feud until : declined to comment, but is
loss to the Jones family on the the game show, the Goodwells. —_; ofa family,” said Supreme : we get to the very bottom of : scheduled to be present at all
show’s most recent episode. : “If he hadn't wrongly stated : Court judge Phillip Gniles. “We this issue.” Steve Harvey has : 43 court cases against him.
: that my family lost, which we : will work day in and day out :
» Everyday questions of the paranormal answered
Cazzy Lewchuk : it’s getting harderand harderto : transparent. I was in the shower
Staff Writer : treat this condition. You can’t just } when I felt a cool breeze behind
: slaughter someone off the street: me; at first I was terrified, but
D ear Mr. Occult, : anymore: there are investigations : then he took me in his cold,
Ever since winter officially and fingerprints now! I used to —: cold arms and it’s been bliss ever
began, I have been cursed and ; prey at the local university. Their : since. He may be intangible and
followed by a traditional First : blood was the freshest! But do ; trapped in the limbo between
Nations’ spirit known as the : you know how hard it isto find —_: mortality and the afterlife, but
Wendigo. From the time I leave: 4 Virgin there these days? I’m ; frankly he’s still a better lover
school to the time I enter my ; currently detained in prison, and: than my ex. Do you know of
house, there is a solid hour of the: 0M trial after consuming my latest : any churches or courthouses
spirit wailing and threatening to : meal. I was very hungry! Please —_: that will help us get married?
devour my entire body. On the : help me obtain more blood.
bus going throughout downtown, : - Dr, Acula 7 Haunted by Love
it claws at the window and : :
shrieks, and it waits outside my Dear Dr. Acula, Dear Haunted by Love,
house for me to step out again. Do . : Frankly, I think you need to go
How can I reduce this torment? : Being that vampirism not only > seea psychologist. Ghosts aren’t
| : requires a special diet butisalso : peal! Have you considered the
- Innocent Victim : amedical condition, the prison: possibility you're just having a
_ : authorities are obliged to offer : vivid fantasy, perhaps brought
Dear Innocent Victim, ; you an alternative in meals. : on by drugs, alcohol, mental
Which bus are you taking home? —_; However, spilling the blood : illness, or an empty feeling
If it’s the 17, you could reduce : of humans for consumption : from your last breakup? I can’t
your commute by as much as : remains illegal. I suggest the : believe people still believe in
half an hour by taking the 20 : authorities work with a local : ghosts in the 2ist century.
instead: it’s the same route and : chapter of the Red Cross to : .
comes much more often. : utilize contaminated blood from: I you have any questions about
As for the Wendigo, barring drives to reduce your hunger. vombies, aliens fairies, demons,
a ritual involving your own > Mr. Occult : yetis, leprechauns, the Loch Ness
execution by a shaman, the : : Monster, unicorns, basilisks, x
hauntings unfortunately : Dear Mr. Occult, : or honest politicians, feel free €
will continue. : . : to write again. Otherwise, e
- Mr. Occult ; A very sexy ghost is in my please don’t waste my time. <
: apartment. He first appeared : 3
Dear Mr. Occult, : soon after I moved in: tall, 77 Mr. Occult 2
I suffer from vampirism, and : ripped, gorgeous locks, and &