10 Horoscopes » How should you spend the summer holidays? Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor ARIES (March 21 - April 20) This was supposed to be the summer of Aries! Despite your best efforts, your go-getter attitude is going to get in the way of your much-needed R&R. Try to put your work aside and enjoy the gettin’ while the gettin’ is good. Plan a small trip with friends to get out of the city for a while! TAURUS (April 21 — May 20) The blue seas are calling your name! This summer, try and hit up somewhere with the biggest beach you can find. Warning: Be as diligent as you can with sunscreen application to avoid a sunburn or (quelle horreur) early onset crow’s feet. Gasp! GEMIN] (May 22 — June 22) This summer promises to be fruitful in both fruit (farm fresh, that is) and fruits of your labour (I know, I know; gimme a break, okay?!). The sun brings a streak of competitiveness out of you, and nothing can stand in your way! Any task at work is no match for your prowess. Go, Gemini, go! CANCER | = (June 22 - July 23) This summer promises to be full of interesting new friendships! People naturally flock to your chill demeanor, but this summer your dial is cranked up all the way. While social group hopping, be sure to schedule some alone time for yourself to recharge. me LEO (July 24 - Aug 23) Do you hear that? It’s the wilderness calling! Take the holidays as a chance to get out into the mountains, forest... anything away from the city! Pack a backpack and a lunch and head towards the nearest clump of trees you can see. Warning: If you’re going on an extended hike, be sure to bring a pal. Lions and bears don’t mix! V/RGO (Aug 24 — Sept 23) Ooh la la—finally, Virgo gets theirs! Though this summer might not be the relaxing, extended nap you were dreaming about, it promises to be full of flights of fancy. Looking for a summer fling? Look no further. Someone is lurking right in your periphery (in a non-creepy way, I promise) who has the hots for you! Ahh, young love. LIBRA (Sept 24 — Oct 23) It’s getting hard to resist that travel bug, but you've got bigger problems on your plate! Like the old tale of the ant and the grasshopper, one bug does work while the other bug does no work, and then the no work one suffers in the winter (or something)! You don’t want to suffer in the winter, do you? Put the time in now and you'll be chilling ina nice, warm ant hole all winter long, I promise! SCOPPIOG (Oct 24 — Nov 22) You love the summer and the summer loves you! Like most things, you dive into the holidays head-on. Though you might want to do every single thing within a 15-kilometre radius, keep an eye on what is fiscally and financially possible for you. Don't go overboard! 2M SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 — Dec 21) Party time, Sag! As a naturally awesome addition to any social gathering, everyone wants a piece of you this summer. Your dance card will fill up pretty fast, so consider keeping a schedule of each event you promise to go to (lest you be called out for being a flake). CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Think about heading home to visit family during the summer! Though sleeping in your childhood bedroom might not be your first idea of a good time, there might be things you need to address that’ve been lingering in your mind for a while. Try going back to the root of the source—your hometown. Gig, AQUARIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Big changes are in store for this summer! A job change, apartment change, or even something as small as a haircut— it’s in the cards for you. Take mental inventory of everything you like about your life and everything you think might need a good tweaking. Start there! Pieeee (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You've been through a lot, and now is the time to let the sun recharge you. Don’t do anything too drastic, and instead use this time to centre yourself. Reach out to friends and family to give you a hand when you feel stuck—they'll always be there for you! M humour@theotherpress.ca Have an idea for a story? Quiz: ¢ Snip snip, bitch! ¢ Straight white blonde girl really getting into ‘Drag Race’ e Horoscopes ..and more! Snip snip, bitch! » Do you really want bangs, or do you just have a lot of emotions? Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor angs are high risk/high reward, and if there's one thing I like, it’s being high. ‘Wait, no. Let me start again—there’s nothing I love more than a potentially life- altering decision that can be made in the blink of an eye and can turn into something I can bitch about for the next three months. Tired of looking up “round face Asian hair bangs” on Pinterest for the 2oth time? Maybe it’s time to take the plunge... or maybe you're just bored and need something to latch onto as we float through space on this big rock called Earth. Still not sure? Take my quiz to find out what you should do! Remember, bangs or not— you'll always be ugly. Questions When was the last time you went through a breakup? a) less than a month ago b) a few months ago c) I’m still in a relationship with the love of my LIFE aka mySELF hahahhaha When you order Neapolitan ice cream, which flavour do you eat first? a) chocolate b) strawberry c) make it into ice cream soup and drink it through a straw Which Jersey Shore cast member do you most identify with? a) Pauly D b) JWwoww c) The twins Pauly and Mike “The Situation” brought home in season four Spring is here! You're looking forward to: a) cherry blossom season b) some nice weather c) climbing into trees and stealing birds’ eggs to make into a nice foraged omelette Results Mostly "A"s Dont get bangs! An extremely hurtful Vice article once told me that hair parted in the middle was the “only flattering look” and that bangs looked like a “children’s drawing” of what hair should look like. This article sucked and I came across it right after I got bangs, so it really got me where it hurts. Don't do what I did and instead be happy with the haircut you have right now! Mostly “B’s Get some light bangs that you can easily tuck behind your ears if needed. Gone are the blunt-ass bangs of yesteryear (fuck you Zooey Deschanel [apologizes to my editors for all the swears in here]); here to stay are wispy, romantic bangs that scream, “I’ve never used a public restroom and I never will!” Congratulations! Mostly “C’s Grab ye olde straight razor and shave your damn head! Hair only binds us to this human coil and there’s nothing like being freed from your chains. It’s time to take back what you are owed and shave the middle of your head like George Costanza from Seinfeld. Nothing’s sexier than looking like a middle-aged accountant—I can attest to that!