| woke up like this...

An internal monologue of anxiety

Brittney MacDonald
Life & Style Editor

Nis terrors are not something | have. | rarely
remember my dreams, but | do wake up scared
several times throughout the night. Previously it would
take me a few moments to remember where | was. |
moved alittle over a year ago and it has taken my mind
this long to finally see my new apartment as home.

Now, | wake up and a million things tumble
through my sleep-hazy mind. What time is it? Am |
late? What did | forget to do? The answers are always
the same: too early, no, and it doesn’t matter. It never
changes, but | go through the motions anyway. | look
at my clock and check everything for myself. Then |
reach and pet the tiny, furry bodies curled up next to
me and around the crown of my head. My cats sleep
pressed in close. They curl into me tighter when |
wake up, and they perk their little heads up to bump

me when | cry. They know, | think, how important they
are—that is why they always sleep next to me. Even
when | sleep they try and comfort me, to remind me
that | am cared for and loved. | forget sometimes.

| am not alone. | have a lover who sleeps next

“ to me every night. Though he tells me never
to worry about it, | am constantly afraid
that | bother him. That one day I'll
wake him up and he'll tell me

to get out. It's a silly fear.

| know this—almost six

years and he will still

tell me he loves me.
| forget sometimes.