issue 19 / volume 40 humour // 21 Near Vancouver, BC Lo] kelp Home AboutMe WriteaReview FindFriends Messages Talk Events ©) AddPhoto &# Share WA Bookmark Chris the Pot Dealer SEEe $$ - Drug Dealers 2 Edit 583 reviews | lu Detzils C STADIUM-CHINATOWN | @)¢ ky Train ee — 5 SS Beene a data ©2014.Google Location: You know, around 2 Edit Vancouver, Downtown 2/17/2014 ‘He showed up.” CSESEGE “Met him in a parking lot. Okay.” SESE EaE3 “"l mean, the stuff was adequate...but | had to wait around for like an hour outside the McDonalds. On the bright side, McChicken's are rad."” 12/11/2013 _ (4) Today 8:00 am - 4:00 pm Open now $$ Price range $10-40 12/21/2013 1/5/2014 By Sharon Miki // Photo illustration by Joel McCarthy Recently single woman decides ‘you don't need a man to complete you’ Natalie Serafini Assistant Editor M assistant @theotherpress.ca ecently single woman, Kassidy Jones, has decided that men are not necessary for a woman's self-fulfillment. “J just was sitting in my room, going through my second box of chocolate, and T realized that the Pussycat Dolls are right: you don’t need a man to complete you—do you hear that, Ben? I don’t need you,” Jones said. Jones hypothesizes that, to fulfill oneself, a woman only needs yoga, kickboxing, books, hobbies, vibrating parapher- nalia, and some “bitchin’ feminist tunes, like ‘Roar, “Wrecking Ball,’ ‘Stronger, and ‘Independent Women. “It also helps if you end : up witha really hot bod, and : then you run into your ex, and : you're just walking around : not giving a shit—that’s like, : the Nirvana of this philos- : ophy,” Jones continued. The path to enlightenment : isn’t easy: it requires dedica- : tion to putting yourself first, : getting a yoga mat, takinga : lot of cute selfies, and being : really present on social media : but in an “I’m super busy living : my fabulous life” sort of way. If there’s one thing you can do right away to get on : your way to enlightenment, : though Jones advocates : pinning some inspirational : quotes around your home. “Oh yeah, quotes can be super helpful. My personal favourite is ‘A woman needs a : man like a fish needs a bicycle,’ : because it really conveys the : message that women don’t need : men. [Miley] Cyrus’ ‘One day : he wants me, one day he wants : me not /I don’t do chances, : ‘cause time just ain’t what I : got’ [from ‘SMS (Bangerz)’] : is also really powerful.” Jones has started writing a book, Youre Gonna Hear Me : Like a Wrecking Ball: A 12-Step : Guide to Being Single and : Okay With It (working title). : Already, critics are saying it : “could be kind of helpful to : some women everywhere.” “T still have to decide : how many steps there : willbe, because I thinka : 15-step guide sounds like : it has more nuances, but : so farit’s going well!” By www.behappy. netii.net