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Internet-tention deficit disorder

Untangling the web

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

Ba and outlandish of
an addiction as it might
sound, Internet Addiction
Disorder (IAD) has become a
prevalent part of many peoples’
daily lives. Granted, it doesn’t
connote the same absurdity
as the plethora of follies seen
on My Strange Addiction; yet
it’s difficult to think of the
Internet—in the infancy of
its existence, but so mucha
part of society—as a threat to
anyone’s functioning. Still,
this is an issue that concerns
university and college students,
as studies show that rates of
Internet addiction are higher
amongst youth and young
adults worldwide. Internet
addicts often cannot disentangle
themselves from the Web, might
lie to friends and family about
their attachment, and may
begin to see their obsession
taking a toll on their work. No
doubt about it, IAD can bea
serious obstacle to overcome. I
think, though, that addiction to
technology and the Web could
be seen as a spectrum, and that
most people fall somewhere—
however mild or extreme—on
that spectrum.

For months now, I’ve had
difficulty finishing off an entire

Premature exoneration

Forgiving too soon
is a bad idea

By Natalie Serafini,
Opinions Editor

[ns took a course on conflict
resolution. Between learning
about active listening and how
to ask open-ended questions,
we learned about conflict
resolution styles. Everyone

has a certain way in which
they deal with confrontations
and arguments, and they
generally fall into one of the
categories of win/lose, problem
solving, accommodating,
compromise, and avoidance.

It was immediately obvious

to me what style of conflict
resolution I subscribe to, since
I avoid conflict as much as

book. It isn’t for lack of trying,
or for lack of time, but more an
inability to focus. Although I’ve
been blaming the absence of
books in my life on the amount
of textbook reading inherent to
college life, I’m coming to the
conclusion that the problem

is an unhealthy attachment to
the Web. I spend a substantial
amount of time online, and
sometimes find myself falling
asleep while watching YouTube
videos. I wouldn’t say I’m
addicted to the Internet, but I
could probably redirect a good
chunk of my time towards
healthier and more productive
pursuits.

Obviously there’s a lot to
love about the Net—otherwise
it wouldn’t lure people in with
such ease. We all know that
it makes communication and
learning simpler, with Facebook,
Twitter, news sites, and
databases a few tip-tap-types
away. The online connections
also make social movements and
campaigns much easier to share.
Occupy Wall Street began as a
social media movement, and our
Facebook timelines still show
the imprints that Kony 2012 left
behind. The Internet facilitates
self-expression, debate, and
access to images of cats. It’s
better than Disneyland, as far as
I’m concerned.

Still, those delightful
aspects begin to be eclipsed by
the health and psychological

possible. While I’ve never been
one for confrontations, I’ve also
never been one to easily let go
of problems. This probably has
a lot to do with the fact that I
avoid conflict: I don’t end up
asserting that I’m pissed off,
making it harder to forgive and
forget.

I recently had to deal with
my aversion to burying the
hatchet, and of course came up
against the same old problem:

I couldn’t let go. This certainly
had to do with the fact that

I'd been simmering in a stew

of avoidance for over a year,
but it was also related to the
significance of forgiveness.
When you forgive someone,
you absolve them of wrongness.
They should no longer feel
contrite or apologetic. The past
is purposefully hemmed back
into the past, and there’s a sense
of finality to it.

effects of technology and

the Internet. A phenomenon
known as phantom cell phone
syndrome involves thinking
you feel your phone vibrating
in your pocket, and finding
nothing there. Studies have
begun to tentatively link social
anxiety and depression to
excessive computer use. Other
studies have suggested that
the craving for online gaming
and the Internet is comparable
to cravings seen in substance
addictions. And there are the
health issues associated with
staring at a computer screen for
hours at a time: headaches, eye
strain, and slumped posture are
just some short-term effects of
excessive computer use. I

bothered by the physical health
consequences of stooped posture
and failing eyesight—that’s
what chiropractors and glasses
are for, right? But the links

to social anxiety, depression,

and an inability to focus are
disturbing. Every generation
has its challenges, or some
quality that marks its members
as distinct from others; are we
the generation of Internet
addicts? I refuse

to believe
that we

  
 
 
 
 
 

 

imagine

sitting for

hours doesn’t

do wonders for long-term
health, either.

Again, I love the Internet,
and the list of reasons
why it’s great goes on
much longer than the
short one I made. I’m
not even tremendously

And yet, even though
forgiveness is spoken of as
meaning that anger and hurt
have been abandoned, I think
it’s too frequently treated
as simply the end goal to
an argument. Assertions of
feelings are rushed through;
perspectives are half-heard,
half-nodded through absent-
mindedly; little understanding
is really established; and eyes
remain on the prize. From there,
instead of forgiveness being
an announcement of moving
forward, it becomes a Band-Aid
that’s too small for the wound.

A premature statement
of absolution might be an
attempt to gloss over problems,
or maybe it’s the automatic
response to an “I’m sorry.” It’s
fine to recognize that feeling
bad sucks, but not if it replaces
asserting your perspective.
Especially since stating

exoneration closes the door to

more discussion: once they’ve
apologized and you've forgiven,
what's left to say? I’m in no way
suggesting that people should
hold onto resentment, or that
the person who’s been wronged
has license to be lax in moving
forward. It’s simply that, in my
experience, when forgiveness is
offered too soon, it isn’t entirely
heartfelt. And once you’ve
stated that you're ready to move
forward, it’s unfair to keep
bringing up the past.

Granted, the expression
“To err is human; to forgive,
divine” exists for a reason,
and maybe the world would
be a better place if people
didn’t cling to grudges quite
so readily. But who says that
forgiveness has to always be
the final destination, or that the
commute has to be lickety-split?
Particularly with the expectation

Oare irreparably linked to our
technological appendages.

I’m not going to suggest that
we abandon the Net entirely,
but hopefully there exists a
manageable balance between
work, school, social life, and the
requisite time spent staring at a
screen.

 

that forgiven issues will be
forgotten, absolution shouldn’t
be meaningless.

I don’t think of
confrontations as boxing
matches: they shouldn’t be
rushed through for the goal
of a KO. Confrontations
should be about negotiation,
and attempting to see the
perspective of another person.
Trying to push through an
argument to arrive at some
semblance of agreement often
leaves too much room for not
actually listening to one another.
It resolves too little, leaving the
door open for continued enmity,
while premature exoneration
closes the door to any further
discussion. Once all is forgiven,
all should be forgotten, but
that’s a dangerous place to rush
to if you harbour resentment
and a good memory.

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