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¢ Animal poo superstitions that can
influence your life

e Ultimate kitchen hacks: Autumn recipes
¢ Dog business networking convention

..and more

Animal poo superstitions that can

influence your life

» Lucky bird droppings aren't the only animal feces that have mysterious power

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EG Manilag
Staff Writer

 

Frog poo: Exam luck

Frog poo has the power to bless your
exams. Ever heard of Pepe the frog? Well,
Pepe's just a green anthropomorphic frog
who isa rare gold on students’ social media
feeds. When the illusive frog does visit,
he brings on good luck for exams. So, the
next time you see a frog answering to the
call of nature, contain it as a lucky charm
for midterms or finals because it could be
Pepe.

Spider droppings: Superhero powers
The easiest way to be Spider-Man. Yes,
spider poop is the alternative way. If you
don't want to get bitten, then take a bite.
The only downside to this, however (other
than its horrible taste) is that you won't
have as many epic powers as Spider-Man
does. Don’t worry—on the plus side,

you also won't have to take the great
responsibility that comes with it. It’s a
win-win.

Dog poop: Power of responsibility

I can attest that it will make you a
responsible person. This may be the most
sensible superstition of all time. Letting

the dogs out and scooping their poop
means that you can make good decisions.
I was once in-charge of a few dogs. For
two weeks, I would let the dogs out at the
exact time they were supposed to—early
morning, five in the afternoon, and eight
in the evening. Slowly, canine droppings
taught me to have a laser-focus on the
time and repetitive work. I’ve become a
successful member of my family with these
contributions, and I owe it all to dog poo.

Cow manure: Power of attention

Cow poo can make you the center of
attention. We all know that cow manure

is an extremely useful poop, particularly

in producing fertilizers and biogas. But
what some of us might not know is that

it can grant you the power to get people’s
attention—I know this from experience.
Once my friends and I went biking on

a highway with farms on the sideroad.
Suddenly, a fast car passed all of us, hitting
a huge puddle of cow dung. My friend in
the front was granted the experience of
being covered in cow dung. He literally

ate shit and was all covered in it. After the
crappy incident, we could literally focus on
nothing, but his poo covered existence—
laughing and puking at the same time.

Dog business networking convention
comes to town

» BUTTS ’19 is set to be a great opportunity for dog entrepreneurs everywhere

Janis McMath
Assistant Editor

 

his coming weekend will be the 24th

anniversary (3“ anniversary in human
years) of the famous Business Understood
Through The Smell (BUTTS) networking
convention for entrepreneur dogs
everywhere. Dogs from across the park
come to sniff out others that have similar
innovative ideas, sell their products and
business ideas, and attend lectures of the
wolves that know wall street.

A number of lectures will be featured
at the convention. Attending lecturers
include famous business-dog speakers like
Ruff Bezos of Dogazon, Bill of Microdog,
and Bark Zuckerberg of Muzzlebook.

One of the headliners, Nacho
O’Cheesy, is a world renown business
canine featured on Wolf's Den, a business
reality show where a panel of five investor
dogs have business ideas pitched to them
and invest. O’Cheesy is also featured on
the original version of the show which is

Canadian and is called Werewolf’s Lair.
The self-trained billionaire will be hosting
a lecture called “Burying your bones:
Growing your business cost-effectively.”

The convention will also have booths
of investors pitching their different
products. The event attracts many big dogs
who are interested in investing in products.

Meatball, local entrepreneur, had
a popular booth with a lot of wagging
tails at the last convention—and now his
product is world renown. The border collie
technology inventor’s product is called
BALL BIFOCALS. It is a pair of tech-glasses
that detect where a tennis ball is located
and warns the user when their owner is
faking a throw to trick the dog. Features
like ball distance measurement, height
measurement, wind calculations, and jump
force calculations are all also included. The
glasses also have a frisbee mode. There are
many revolutionary products featured at
the convention every year.

Get your tickets for the convention at
www.dog-ate-my-tickets.bark.

 

Illustration by Janis McMath