Gudy

The holidays are almost here! Can you believe it?

I should probably confess that I am a self-proclaimed,
full-on, Class A, out-of-control, unapologetic Christmas
junkie—so, December is kind of like the eltl eres Bowl of
months for me. Actually, I don’t follow football, so that’s

not a very powerful analogy. Let’s try again.

Uh...December is like the Cadillac of months for me. No,

wait. [ don’t drive, and I couldn’t care less about luxury
automobiles, so that doesn’t really work either. | suppose,
to put it into terms that I can relate to, December is more
like the hot-fudge-and-tequila-sundae-being-handfed-by-
Martin Tielli of months for me. Yes, that'll do.

\s I write this, it is still technically November, and yet
my apartment has already been transformed into some
thing resembling a white-trash Christmas circus. The
combination of garish Las Vegeas-style flashing lights and
the constant insane whirring of animatronic Santas is real
ly quite magical. And with the advances being made in
faux-snow technology these days, it is finally possible to
have a guaranteed white Christmas in the rainforest cli
mate of BC.

But don’t get me wrong; my Christmas fetish has no
basis in religion. No sir, | pride myself in my ability to take
the Christ out of Christmas. For me, it’s all about the
important things—like chocolate and presents and candy-
cane martinis. And, of course, spending time with friends
and family (the candy-cane martinis really come in handy
here). If that seems sacrilegious to you, well, then I guess
on doing rr rales t. No offence to the religious folks in the
house—you celebrate for your reasons, I'll celebrate for
reat baten

\nyway, while we’re on the subject, if you like the
Good Book, youre sure to love the Good
Newspaper... The Other Press, | mean. Be sure to take a
look at Colin Miley’s “The Way Things Sometimes Are”
column this week. He’s got a few things to say on the sub
ject of religion, too. OF course, I think he’s been recruited
by some zany cult (he’s been hoarding tinfoil and “acci
dentally juestionable litera | lanes
lately), so | don’t know how much stock you'll want to put
in his opinion. But still, its an interesting article. Plus,
we've got news articles about naked people and mullets
but not naked people »/// mullets, unfortunately). Add to
that the rest ef the great stuff in this issue, and you’ve got
enough to keep you entertained for an eternity—and

e gospel tr

 

becemoer 1/2000

 

 

 

COnGEnGS

Layton Slams Martin at Ontario NDP Convention ................cccecceeee Bese rehi sists ian i
Greenpeace Launches Kleenex Boycott 0.0.0.0... cccececcececeeessecerneseeeeeeeeeeers pee
News to Peruse, Amuse, and CONFUSE ..............ccccseceseecseeeessseeeseeeseees 6) eS
News Wears Short Shorts ....... Raceaecn tees cece sik ei ers aiokss i ee 6

= 28
Opinions ae Smee 2 eA eee ee are

NE INCI kk. lee Sea. ]
ys ine hee nee icv atishens EE or eh 8
Bush Bashing or Constituents Wishes?.............. es ic er nee ere 9
SNS 2s I ncanls st Pas exh cients 9

arts &entertainment..
What toBuy.......... gn eee PS cx cys datanvuns esiee Fasusheeuiitekeaee ees ot epee 10
Isis/These Arms Are Snakes ................ccccceeeeees Sei ers Loreto isis iiaaszelciy tae ll
Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix 2... eee eceeeecseeceectsecseccteessssseecasseeeeersaes 4

What's On Around Town .............ceecc0.e. cane Soy pemumcate. 4p Roe iene a. Sens 1B

Drinking Problem? .......... ges fer cptMELcd uae kisi taba ver sesvionts sieeth ncbeini trent Saiis ved Ih
This Shoe's on the Other Foot .............cc.ccccccccecsseseeeseseeseceuees Pero ge 5

erent Se ol roe at ee Ber re I
The Down Side of Sports ............ Hes aa Wises ici tans ea ee ees Sanaa Tae
IT as 1a siicdun ncaadavense secede i eden alle ATED hetaabeetils? 18
Douglas Scoreboard ..............cceessssceseessseeesees Pra MOY sarees Satie oe 19

 

DuUnEPPPeSs | 3