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OPERATION HALLEY'S COMET *

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A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:

"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will
be visible in this area, an event which occurs only once every 75
years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area In fatigues,
and | will explain this rare phenomenon to them. In case of rain,
we will not be able to see anything, so assemble the men in the
theater and. | will show them films of it."

|

EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO COMPANY COMMANDER:

"By order of the Colonel, tomorrow at 2000 hours, Halley's Comet will
appear above the battalion area. If it rains,fall the men out In
fatigues, then march to the theater where this rare phenomenon wil]
take place, something which occurs only once every 75 years.''

COMPANY COMMANDER TO LIEUTENANT:

"By order of the Colonel in fatigues at 2000 hours tomorrow evening,
the phenomena] Halley's Comet will appear in the theater. In case
of rain, in the battalion area, the Colonel will give another order,
something which occurs once every 75 years."

LIEUTENANT TO SERGEANT:

"Tomorrow at 2000 hours, the Colonel] will appear in the theater with
Halley's Comet, something which happens every 75 years if It rains,
the Colonel will order the comet into the battallon area.'"'

SERGEANT TO SQUAD:

"When it rains tomorrow at 2000 hours, the phenomenal, 75-year-old
General Halley, accompanied by the Colonel, will drive his comet
through the battalion area theater in fatigues." |

* from a speech by Dan Bellus of Santa Monica firm Dan Bellus and
Associates.