www.theotherpress.ca

HUMOUR.

 

Starbucks barista finally snaps after yet another

customer asks for medium-sized coffee

Canadian Samantha
University

Pres  SUMmers

vow

TORONTO (CUP) — Patrons
of a downtown Starbucks
were shocked yesterday when
a fellow patron had coffee
thrown at her by barista Crystal
McAdams. Loretta Lafont, age
20, only meant to get a cup of
coffee before heading to her
afternoon chemistry tutorial.
Instead, she found herself
sporting burns after being
attacked by McAdams. Rajesh
Sharma, who was standing
behind Lafont in line, saw the
whole ordeal.

“It was really strange,” he
says. “I mean, this girl—Loretta,
I guess—just ordered a medium
black coffee and then that crazy
barista started screaming and
throwing cups of coffee at her.”

According to other
onlookers, McAdams was
overheard shouting, “It’s called
a grande! A fucking grande! Not
a goddamned medium!” All the
while, Lafont cowered behind
her purse, attempting to dodge
the scalding beverage being
thrown her way.

“Every day, I hear the
same thing from customers,”

a seething McAdams told

 

reporters later. “I'll have a
medium, a medium, a goddam
medium. But we don’t serve
mediums, you see? We serve
grandes.” McAdams then broke
off into maniacal laughter and
was led away by a member of
the Toronto police force.

It is unclear at press time if
McAdams will face charges for
assault; however, it has become
clear that her employment with
Starbucks will be terminated at
this time.

“We see it from time to
time,” McAdams’s manager,
James Tyler, said. “We call it
‘The Madness.’ Sometimes a
barista just gets too invested,
you know? They get in too deep
and there’s no coming back
from it. That’s when we have
to let them go. It’s rough but
that’s the business.” Typically
employees who have suffered
from “The Madness” end up in
need of extreme psychological
counselling. As of press time,
Loretta is expected to make
a full recovery from “The
Madness.”

Said Lafont, “So is anybody
going to get me that coffee? The
service here is unbelievable,”
while still nursing burns from
the scalding hot coffee thrown
at her.

 

Photo illustration by Joel McCarthy

 

 

 

 

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