issue 8// vol 46

You never really _
know someone until
you live with them

» Why everyone should live with their partners
before deciding to spend their lives together

Tania Arora
Staff Writer

 

magine marrying and then moving

in with someone who you don't know
completely. Even after dating them fora
long time, you might not know what they
are like to live with. Meeting someone
every day for a period of time, or even
staying with them overnight doesn’t reveal
the true nature of a person. Someone may
seem like they would be good to spend the
rest of your life with, but you never really
know until you live with them.

Every individual has a different set of
habits—some you can be at peace with,
some you can suck it up for, and then there
are some you just can’t stand. Following
are the reasons why I think people should
live together for a while before saying yes to
that ring.

Physical check

Everybody wants a partner that they are
sexually compatible with. Some may look
for longevity, capacity, interest, stamina,
flexibility, and other add-ons in terms of
sexual compatibility. If they can’t or won't
satisfy you, are you sure you want to hang
on to them for the rest of your life?

Family adjustments

Everyone knows that marriage is not just
between two people, it also connects

their families. Proper balance and respect
between your partner, their family, and
your own family is extremely important.
Living with your partner would give you

a realistic glimpse of how you need to
compromise for each other’s family, and
how you must act around each other’s kin.

Household chores

Your partner promising breakfast in bed,
promising to clean up after themselves, and
promising to help with daily house duties is
not the same thing as actually doing those
tasks. Living with them will indicate to

you if they are willing (or even capable) of
doing these things. This information will
help you decide if the deal of dividing the
work equally will actually materialize.

Are they fun to be around?

People might have the urge to change the
people they surround themselves with. In
marriages, once the vows are taken, it really
isn't that easy. Living together and seeing
how well you two get along after a stressful
day will help you figure out if there is the
slightest possibility of you losing interest in
your partner or vice versa.

 

Deciding who you want to spend the
rest of your life is a much bigger decision
that choosing a career path. You can change

opinions // no. 15

 

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

the course of your life anytime you want,
but you cannot juggle or switch partners
that easily—choose wisely.

Dont put today’s social standards on the past

» Learn from history instead of losing time condemning it

 

Illustration by Cara Seccafien

Jessica Berget
Editor-in-Chief

Wwe we think of our past actions that

we aren't proud of, what do we do? I
can bet most people think to themselves “I
was young,” or “That was a long time ago.”
We are quick to forgive ourselves, yet when
it comes to some parts of the past, people
are quicker to critique. While being critical
of our history certainly has its place, I don’t
think there’s any use in applying today’s
standards of society on to things that have
happened the past.

This is often something I hear when
talking about old, classic films. “I love that
movie, except for that one part.” “That one
part” usually pertains to an offensively
racist or sexist scene (i.e. Mickey Rooney’s
depiction of an Asian man in Breakfast at
Tiffany's). Although I am not excusing the
scenes of these films—they are extremely
hard to watch—I do think it’s unnecessary
to put the social standards of today onto
things that happened so long ago, back
when society was a very different time
and place with totally different norms. It
is important to recognize why it’s wrong,
but we can’t be too upset at something
that happened so long ago that it may have
been before we were even born.

These films and scenes are a product
of their time, and we should stop viewing
them with a 2019 lens. The ’40s, ’50s,

 

60s, and hell, even the 2000s were a very
different time and place than today. As
such, they had very different—albeit
outdated (at least by our standards)—
societal norms and ideas. Although this
doesn’t excuse these racist or sexist things,
it does explain why and how they happened
to be so normal and unquestioned.

Be critical of perspectives from the
past, but do not disregard them completely
or pretend they don’t exist—they can
actually teach us a lot. I think media from
the past is a good way to see previous
human culture and what things were once
considered funny or inoffensive. We can’t
pretend that society was never racist or
sexist, but we should be able to look at
evidence that people from the past were.
Current culture should be able to view the
past with a dissociation that this is how
people used to think and deal with big
issues. Applying the current rules of society
prevents people from seeing any value in
learning from people in the past.

There’s no use of complaining over
things that happened in the past—they’re
in the past. In 10 or 20 years I’m sure we will
be cringing at some of the things we do or
say now, but we ourselves are a product of
our time. Standards and societal norms are
always changing, and only time will tell if
any of the things we are doing now will be
considered offensive in the future.