News

 

 

Power, limits, and stereotypes

One woman's experience as a modern dominatrix

Samantha Eng, The Watch

HALIFAX (CUP) Leanne is a middle-
aged, single mother living in the east
end of Toronto. She is getting ready
to open her own business, a therapy
clinic that doubles as an art gallery.
She enjoys photography, and even
hosts her own workshop at a local
store. She is a chaplain who preaches
feminist theology and an activist in
her community. She’s also a working
commercial and lifestyle dominatrix.
BDSM (short for bondage and
discipline, domination and submission,
and sadism and masochism) has been
cornered in mainstream popular culture
as a disturbing world of pain, leather,
and controlling women with whips.
International online and print
directories give access to this world
of underground fantasy. Doms and
dungeons advertise in the back of free
newspapers and leave discrete flyers by
the doors of sex/fetish shops and 18+
video stores. The sex industry is huge,
especially in Toronto. But even so,
Leanne says that there are maybe only
ten full-time dominatrices in the city,

4

 

her being one of them.

As a dominatrix and a dominant
female, Leanne says that the focus is
not so much on power as the illusion
of power, especially when it comes to
clients (submissives).

“It’s the subs that have the power in
that relationship because they draw the
boundaries around what they will and
will not do or take,” says Leanne. “It’s
an ironic situation. You’re playing with
power, but you’re largely a service to
that person’s journey.”

So what is the main appeal?

“T think that it’s the way that you can
play with danger in a safe place,” says
Leanne.

People come to her looking to test
their personal boundaries. Leanne says
that these boundaries are both mental
and physical, and that people want to
be reminded of them and have them
eroticized. They give her the power to
explore that.

“Often I just remind them of their
own thoughts and feelings and desires,”
says Leanne. “Activities that generate

that kind of energy like kneeling

and positioning, foot worship, close
attention to detail, inspecting someone,
exposing them. Investigating, making
people [talk], make them tell you
things. Seducing them into it is how
you create that [control], so that you can
slowly bring more and more pressure
and pain, as well as pleasure, into the
scene.

“Tt’s really just a matter of
identifying your desires and having
the support surround you to discover it
safely.”

Leanne also makes it clear that
although she plays a dominant role
in these scenarios, she also has
a responsibility and duty to her
submissives. In some ways, she even
takes on maternal characteristics
while acting as the Goddess, Mistress,
Amazon, Queen, or Destroyer.

“T think it’s [my responsibility to
create] a safe place for someone to
be who they are. Someone who takes
them through physical challenges and
then rewards them, holds them . . . is
absolutely part of the process,” says
Leanne. “It’s a part of how you play.”
Also, although being a dom is about
having absolute control, Leanne says
that it’s important to remember that a
dom is still a sex trade worker, which
carries its own risks.

“Both the dom and the client know
that the other has powers that the
other doesn’t know about yet. Each
one knows that they’re involved in an
activity that can be criminalized. Each
person knows that they’re putting a lot
of trust into the other person physically
as well,” says Leanne.

“There’s always testing limits, but
always in a framework. And if I’m not
feeling respected around it there are
several things that I can do about that.”
Leanne says that she’s also had time to
reflect on her own power as a person.
She was hit by a van while crossing a
street four years ago, and now suffers
from chronic pain.

“T had to learn how to walk all over
again. I was doing that while training
[subs] and while they were caring [for]
me, so it was a very different dynamic
than what you’d expect,” she says.
“But just because you’re dealing with
those things doesn’t make you any less
of a dom. It’s how you handle your
challenges that really teaches those
around you.”

As a result, Leanne says she now
approaches dom work as sexual healing
therapy and has taken on clients of the
queer community and marginalized
people.

“Generally, my more mainstream

 

clients tend to be men who are facing
extraordinary circumstances in their
physical and in their personal lives,”
says Leanne. “A couple of my main
clients are dealing with wives that have
very serious illnesses and are dying,
usually dying actually. Sometimes they
themselves are old and are dealing
with the effects of that, or the effects
of disability. Those are some of the
circumstances that often make it more
important and also easier for them to
come and see me.”

While BDSM may not appeal to
everyone, Leanne says that people
should remember that it’s a diverse
world in itself. From therapy to self-
discovery, in the end, it’s just another
way of playing.

 

   

Stephen Lewis
coming to New
Westminster

Kelly Parry, Douglas College Media
Writer

S tephen Lewis, the former
United Nations’ Special Envoy for
HIV/AIDS in Africa and Canada’s UN
ambassador from 1984 to 1988, will
speak at New Westminster’s Massey
Theatre on March 22 at 7:30 pm.

Drawing from his years of
experience in global health issues,
Lewis’ presentation addresses the
theme of A Vision for a World Free of
HIV/AIDS. Proceeds from the event
will support the Douglas College
Community Social Service Worker
(CSSW) program’s Uganda Project and
Uganda Endowment Fund. Developed
to complement CSSW student
fieldwork placements in Uganda, the
project assists health, education, and
social service projects in the African
country.

This event is sponsored by HSBC,
Fraser Health and Douglas College.
For more information visit www.
douglascollege.ca/stephen-lewis;
for tickets, call Ticketmaster at
604-280-4444.