© the other press e Sports March 3, 2004 continued from page 21 was only a few years earlier that even NBA was on shaky ground. Magic and Bird eventually changed that. There is some talk of an ABA team setting up shop in Vancouver and beginning play next December. In order to take advantage of the lower mainland Asian Market, the goal of team ownership is to stock the team I Miss Larry Bird Simon Hatton Celtics Suck!” This was the greeting | received from a faceless ambas- sador of Seattle as he passed by in a car, as I approached Key Arena on Sunday. I knew it was possible that I might evoke some kind of reaction there—after all I was wearing my pride on my sleeve in the form of a bright green satin Celtics jacket. But what had he hoped to achieve by telling me this? Was it that that his beaut- articulated ifully argument would make me realize how wrong I was for being a Celtics fan and throw off my jacket in disgust right then and there? Perhaps he thought his friends might be impressed by his clever and fearless remarks made to humiliate me, fully knowing they would go unchallenged due to the fact that even the quickest OP Contributor full of ballers from China. Not a bad idea, but how about a Canadian team in Canada full of Canadian athletes. That sounds revolutionary, plus isn’t the ulti- mate goal to put the best team on the floor. Last time Canada played China we laid a Yoa Ming size beat down on them. The ABA team would com- pete against other ABA cities comeback to such a remark can- not keep up with a car speeding by in traffic. I suppose he might have just been trying to hurt my feelings, or perhaps he was just stating a fact that I was not obvi- ously privy to until that moment. Only moments after that statement had been uttered The such as Long Beach and Reno. Oh, I can’t wait to see Long Beach get what that got coming to them and Reno that sounds like a rivalry for the ages. I don’t know anybody from these places. I want to see Calgary, Winnipeg and Victoria roll in to town, Basketball Night in Canada, that’s what I’m talking about. We could bring back the advantage of Boston's apathetic defense and general confusion by establishing a commanding lead from the get go. It was sure start- ing to look like my new insult- hurling American friend might be on to something. After all, in the last 13 games the Celtics have had only one victory, and have quickly played themselves out of the last playoff spot in the eastern division. Boston has had a very unimpressive season to date with a record of 23-35. That definitely is sucky behav- iour. KAG222 $ 224 46-4! en oo ADULT EKA@222 ; | 4.0, JACK=IN=THE=BOX TOY NIGHT tay 9,00 icketmaster.com |"554™ SEATTLE SONICS G 224 : | ur 147 vs 7ALIZUS "te 3 BOSTON CELTICS J ‘ zusess KEYARENA © SEATTLE CENTER a 3 SUN FEB 22, 2004 6:O0PH ticketmaster Seattle Supersonics had _ started their complete humiliation of the Celtics in a 108-84 victory on Sunday night. Despite an as always stunning performance by the Celtics’ Paul Pierce who led the team by scoring 34 points, the Supersonics quickly took BCCAA Scoreboard BCCAA Men’s Basketball Feb. 27 Langara 73 Kwantlen 85 Capilano 92 Douglas 80 Malaspina 57 Okanagan 55 Camosun 74 Fraser Valley 69 Feb, 28 Cariboo 96 UNBC 75 Capilano 85 Kwanten 75 Langara 99 Douglas 109 Malaspina 47 Fraser Valley 83 Camosun 76 Okanagan 89 BCCAA Men + 1 Cariboo It is hard to believe this is the same team who have won 16 NBA Championships and have had 28 of their players inducted to the hall of fame. But wait, it’s not. The only thing the Boston Celtics of yesteryear have in common with today’s Celtics is 2langara 18 13'51105 953 26 +152 3 Cariboo 18 13 5 967 806 26 +161 4Okanagan 18 11 711811001 22 +180 5 Kwanten 18 10 8 9981005 20 -7 6Capilano 18 9 91086 979 18 +107 7 UNBC 18 7 11 9531048 14 -95 8 Malaspina 18 5 1310791226 10 -147 9 Douglas 18 4 14 9451177 8 -232 10Camosun 18 0 18 7271355 0 -628 Provincial Basketball Championship Website www.ouc.be.ca/studentlife/athletics/provincials GP W LPF PA. PIs BCCAA Men's Volleyball Championships 18 15 316201326 30 +294 2 Fraser Valley 18 14 4 14081278 28 +130 22, 25-14 25-23, 23-25, 15-12 3Camosun 18 12 6 13861323 24 +63 4Capilano 18 11 714521364 22 +88 5 Kwanten 18 9 912931347 18 -54 6 Douglas 18 8 1014681472 16 -4 7UNBC 18 8 1013171395 16 -78 SLangara 18 7 1113871459 14 -72 9 Malaspina Feb. 27 Langara 64 Kwantlen 42 Capilano 61 Douglas 56 Malaspina 51 Okanagan 95 Camosun 31 Fraser Valley 80 Feb. 28 Cariboo 54 UNBC 41 Capilano 54 Kwantlen 57 Langara 69 Douglas 54 Malaspina 48 Fraser Valley 77 Camosun 38 Okanagan 67 ‘BCCAA Women GP W L PF PA PTS + 1 Fraser Valley 18 18 01241 739 36 +502 18 4 1411631375 8 -212 10 Okanagan 18 2 1614171572 4 -155 Semi-Finals (Feb. 27) 23, 25-21, 25-19 15, 25-18 Finals (Feb. 28) MG 5 Bronze Medal Match COTR vs Camosun 3-0 25-19, 25-25, 25-17 MG 6 Gold Medal Match Quarter-Finals (Feb. 26) MG 1 Camosun vs Malaspina 3-0 25-17, 25- MG 2 CBC vs Cariboo MG 3 CBC vs COTR MG 4 Capilano vs Camosun 3-0 25-19, 25- coveted Naismith Cup, but this time the players competing for the hardware would be good Canadian kids, fundamentally sound and willing to go into the corners. That’s it! I have con- vinced myself, there is no way this league could fail. I’m just going to go ahead and start it up on my own, does anyone have a couple million I could borrow? the name. Long gone are the days of Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Robert Parish, who led a nearly unbeatable Celtics team more NBA Championship victories than any team in history. That def- to initely does not suck. Yes, there was a day when a young pasty short-short-wearing Celtic from Indiana named Larry Bird was draining more last-second three- pointers than there are now pro- | fessional athletes facing rape charges. So now I must answer the question posed. Do the Celtics suck? I suppose at the present time, statistically, they are most certainly not one of the better teams in the league. In all fair- ness though, it must be said that every team in one incarnation or another has sucked at some point. So I will remain as | always have, a Boston Celtics fan. Perhaps next year a young Larry Bird reincarnate will come and bring the team back to their winning ways. If not, no big deal I will stick with them—besides, I have been told I look great in green. Cory Hilditch (CBC) Dale Hoogendoorn (CBC) Sean Aiken (Capilano) Jon Wiskar (Capilano) Tournament MVP Mike Drew (Capilano) BCCAA Women’s Volleyball Championships Quarter-Finals (Feb. 26) 20, 25-18 WG 1 Cariboo vs Douglas 25, 25-27, 25-18, 15-12 WG 2 Langara vs CBC 3-2 25-18, 21- 3-0 25-16, 25- Semi-Finals (Feb. 27) WG 3 Capilano vs Langara 3-1 25-20, 28- 26, 17-25, 25-9 3-2 21-25, 25-23, : 18, 25-21 WG 4 Malaspina vs Cariboo 3-0. 25-15, 25- Finals (Feb. 28) 3-1 19-25, 25- WG 5 Bronze Medal Match Cariboo vs Langara 25-20, 25-18 3-1 18-25, 25-17, WG 6 Gold Medal Match Malaspina vs Capilano 3-1 25-23, 14-25, 25-12, 27-25 Tournament All-Stars: Jen Dickson (Caplano) Laura Wagner (Capilano) ‘ Capilano vs CBC 3-1 26-28, 25-18, 25- Lisa Strachan (Cariboo) 22, 25-16 Kathy Anderson (Malaspina) Janna Schmidt (Malaspina) Tournament All-Stars: Katie Mason (Malaspina) Martin Reader (Camosun) Tournament MVP Kris Brand (COTR) Stephanie Bolin (Malaspina) ae Page 22 http://www.otherpress.ca Another Big Game in the Toilet by Flash Gordon Friday's game against Capilano for the men’s bas- ketball team was crucial to a berth into the provincial tournament. Douglas went into the weekend, sitting on the edge of elimination. Even with a win, the Royals’ fate depended on the performance of UNBC in this last weekend of league play. It started ugly. Very low scoring to start. Capilano was charged with a rather retard- ed technical foul even before the tip off. The inside games for both teams were pretty ugly. I'd rather not go into details because there's no point. The Blues had more of a head for the game; the Royals played spastically at best. Final Score 92-80. Taylor Takes the Reins! SRW Media Release Douglas College is pleased to announce the selec- tion of Randy Taylor as the Head Coach for the Women’s Soccer Program. Randy's experience with soccer covers 35 years of coaching and instructing athletes ranging from the Professional Vancouver 86ers to BC Soccer Youth Teams. He is currently coaching women’s and youth teams in the Surrey Delta area as well as operating Randy Taylor Soccer Schools in the Fraser Valley for the past ten years. “I’m excited to be back at this level of elite sport” Says Taylor who started recruiting a week before being hired on the chance he might be hired by Douglas College. That’s the kind of enthusiasm, Athletic Director, Lou Rene Legge was looking for in a coach and she seems to have found it in Randy Taylor. A BC native, Randy currently resides in Delta, BC with his wife and three children all of whom are very supportive of the new demands on Randy's time. Women’s Volleyball Clinch Provincial Berth by Flash Gordon The Lady Royals finished sixth in the BCCAA League play earning them a shot at competing for the provincial title. The tournament will be held in Abbotsford at the Columbia Bible College. Lynne Desautels, Kristy Alblas, Jennifer Gerwing, and Erica Jones were among the Douglas players listed on the statistic leader lists. Malasapina produced the most dominant team in the league finishing with an 180 record. Chances are good that the Mariners from Nanaimo will win it all. But don’t forget on any given day, any team can be beaten. Go Royals! Flash’s Weekly Five Fitness Tips ¢ Take the stairs instead of using the elevator (doesn’t apply to people who can't walk) * Go for a walk or jog during your lunch break. * Consult a personal trainer for a customized workout * Eating subway doesn’t constitute an effort to get fit (Damn you Jared!) * Bike to work (unless you live in Surrey and work in Vancouver—that’s too hardcore) Bollocks by Flash Gordon Douglas is changing its mascot from a rampant royal lion to that of a shrew! The move came as a result of poor attendance at home games for Douglas’ sports teams. It is hoped that the new mascot will generate a better response amongst students. When I asked a student how the felt about the change, the answer was, “Hey, that’s great!” Then he stole my French fries.