January 7, 2007

McDonald's Employees Completely Baffled By
Raekwon the Chef's Order

By “Salty” Liam Britten

=

 

STATEN

ISLAND, NEW YORK—
An ordinary shift at the Bay Street
McDonald’s in Staten Island ended in
confusion last Thursday when rapper
Raekwon the Chef of the Wu-Tang Clan
placed an order for what employees

TOP 5 SIGNS OF AN IMPENDING

could only assume was four hamburgers
and ice creams. James Sims, an employee
of eight months, took the order.

“T didn’t really catch most of it,
it was really fast,” reported Sims. “And he
kept talking about God, or maybe he was

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Busia Nuuubhhhh... Ahhhhhbh... Goddamn... What the hell just
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™\, calling himself God?
And what the fuck is
an ice cream burger?”
Raekwon, born Corey
Woods, but also known
as Lex Diamonds,
Mr. Woods, Clyde
Smith, Ray Cartegna,
Rocky Boulders or
Raethamater, arrived
at the McDonald’s
Drive-Thru window at
10:19 PM, in a 2006
Lincoln Navigator.
After two unsuccessful
attempts to place his
order, Sims began
recording the third :
“Yo, word up me and
my nigga Streetlife
from 212 got the
munchies crazy off
the hook, God. Yo,
straight up, tell the
burger flippin’ mothafuck that I’m
goin’ [unintelligible] crazy waitin’ for
those burgers, word is bond. Tell him
to shimmy shimmy [unintelligible] me
and Street a couple of one over fours,

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and shit better be hot, I ain’t some
okee dokee nigga when it comes to that
ice cream-ass burger. [unintelligible]
And yo, we only got bills, so I hope
you gots some C.R.E.A.M. to pass me
when shit is on, or I can bring game on
ya, bring the mothafuckin’ ruckuss.”

After this attempt, Sims and his
co-workers simply made a guess, and
gave the rapper four hamburgers and four
ice creams. Raekwon left, but returned
15 minutes later, complaining about
his order, and then spoke to a manager.
As punishment for simply “winging
the order”, night shift manager Jeremy
Daniels suspended Sims for three days
without pay. Daniels defended his actions
in an interview with The Other Press:

“I stand by my decision to
suspend James because he was rude to
the customer,” Daniels told reporters.
“Besides, James needed to learns it
once, and learn it right: Wu-Tang Clan
ain’t nothing to fuck with. And neither
are their dinner orders.”

su|do|ku

© Puzzles by Pappocom

 

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9} 18

 

 

 

 

 

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HARD #1
Fill in the grid so that every

row, every column and every
3x3 box contains the digits 1
through 9. That means that no
number is repeated in any row,

column of box.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LAST WEEK'S SOLUTION

5 12)7]91318]46]1
6/3/1215 4|7 9/8
9/8/4116 17/35 2
1/4/3[8|/29]6 715
8|7/915/4/6|2 11/3
2/6/517/1 3[8/4/9
3/1/2]6/7/5|9 18/4
7/5/8149 2[1/3/6
4/9|6|3/8/1|5/2/7

19