The “Other” News “Salty” Liam Britten saltyliam@ gmail.com Jack Black to show his greatest range as an actor in new film “Salty” Liam Britten resident all-star LOS ANGELES, CA—Hollywood insiders and critics alike have been speaking with one voice this week in their praise of actor Jack Black, who, according to many, is set to wow audiences worldwide with his true range as an actor in the new film Be Kind, Rewind. “Jack Black has definitely shown us that he could act before,” said Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News. “I mean, from his performance as a teenage slacker in Orange County to his performance as an adult slacker in School of Rock, Jack Black has never been afraid to take chances on new roles, no matter how out-of-left-field they may be. But his performance as a movie-obsessed slacker in Be Kind, Rewind is going to blow you away. I don’t know about you, but I will definitely be sucking his dick by Wednesday.” Black has been praised many times by fans and critics for his watchable and tolerably obnoxious performances in the past. “I gotta say, Jack’s role in High Fidelity only ruined the movie a little bit,” said Mike Stern, 21, a movie store clerk in Long Beach, California. “Everyone says that watching him in a movie makes you totally want to stab your eyes out, but it only made me want to partially stab my eyes out. He’s not so bad.” Even world-renowned __ theatre professor and host of Inside the Actors Studio James Lipton has taken note of Black’s amazing talent. “Jack Black is one of the singular most influential thespians in American cinema,” said Lipton. “When I was speaking to him for my show, we conversed normally. Then I asked him to become Barry from High Fidelity. Then I asked him to become Nacho Libre. The transitions were seamless; it was almost as if he only plays one character over and over again, merely changing the names. It was breathtaking.” However, Black prefers to keep himself grounded. For him, it’s all about the fans. “My fans love me, and I love them back,” Black told the Other Press. “I mean, if I can entertain people by being a no-talent jackass on screen for 90 minutes, and those 90 minutes brings joy to some idiot who has no idea what a real comedy performance is, who am I to argue?” Mitt Romney endorses meatloaf for next dinner of America By Liam Britten BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS—Mere weeks after dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination, former presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is encouraging his supporters to endorse meatloaf for dinner tonight. “We ran a great race, but now I feel that J must stand aside, both for our country, and tonight’s meal,” Romney told supporters at his Boston campaign headquarters. “I am confident that meatloaf will be a great meal for our country, with its strong endorsement of protein, and commitment to being generally filling and delicious.” However, commentators are divided over how influential Romney’s support truly is. Some have questioned whether or not Romney is being totally forthcoming about his feelings for meatloaf, as in the past he has supported roast beef ardently. Indeed, some suspect that Romney’s endorsement is simply the result of a backroom compromise between his support of roast beef, and the Republican Party’s preference for Salisbury steak. “Let’s face it, Romney does not have the support of the base that he would like to have,” said Chris Cillizza, a political blogger for the Washington Post. “He has in the past tried to push the party into a more pro-lean meat direction, and this has met with considerable resistance.” “Yet in the past he has supported roast old tricks, trying to get big beef ardently.” Further complicating the problem is meatloaf’s relative unpopularity among the right-wing in America. Accused of being soft on iron and vitamin content, meatloaf has been taking a lot of flak lately from conservative pundits like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly. “Meat loaf is just another secular-progressive scheme to get us to coddle ground beef,” said O’Reilly on his popular program, The O’Reilly Factor. “This is the ground beef lobby up to its government to interfere in our livesand beef. And the way these big Hollywood liberals always saying how ground beef is the greatest just makes me sick.” Added O’Reilly, “I blame gays and the poor.” The sincerity of Romney’s endorsement has also been seen by Washington insiders as a power deal. Romney has long been seen as power- hungry, and this may be an attempt to work his way into a potential vice-presidential candidacy. “T’d say Romney looking for VP is entirely possible,” said Cillizza. “After all, it’s a well-known fact that no VP makes it to the job without devouring at least a little bit of seasoned ground beef. It’s mainly to appeal to the youth vote.”