ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Iain W. Reeve, Net Stalker This week’s website: Myspace Are you lonely? Are you misunderstood? Can nobody relate to the pain and strife that you go through in your day-to-day life? Are you just looking for that special someone who can understand how special, unique, artis- tic, pained, and talented you are? Do you lie awake at night hoping that person will make it all better? Do you like to take pictures of yourself hiding your eyes, from awkward angles, or in the mirror of your parent’s bath- ‘room? Well, as it turns out, you're not special, you fit in perfectly with the upward of 56 million users of the internet’s most asinine armpit: MySpace. Finding fault with this site is as easy as finding fault with o barely pee self important, drama queen Vaciacs Silly oF aly ssn tctpaten “SO: I sites. They can include pictures— Smith & Reeve at the Movies: Firewall Iain W. Reeve and Steph Smith, Get Off Our Plane Yellers Jack Stanfield (Harrison Ford) is totally gooned when a group of techno-thugs take over his house and hold his family ransom. Their demand? Stanfield must help them steal hundreds of millions of dollars from the bank he works at, or they will kill his family. But, as he is played by Harrison Ford, Jack fights back! Reeve: Imagine your average bank executive. Imagine his family is abducted and he is forced to help criminals pilfer millions from his bank. What would he do? He would probably cry a little, then proceed to do whatever they told him. Well thankfully Jack, the hero of our story, is no normal banker. As with every Harrison Ford action movie this contains lots of reality stretching plot twists, technological plot holes, gratuitous down and dirty ass-kicking, and a com- plete lack of any firewalls—except when that car exploded I suppose. But hey, for a formulaic action flick, this is a not-so-bad little piece of film. Having been a boy growing up in the 80s’ I am well acquainted with the action film. This would be your cate- gory two action film. Rather than having a protagonist who is an omnipotent ultra kill machine a-la Rambo or Terminator, your hero is an embittered everyman with everything to lose. Ford is, of course, in his element here. It may just be because I grew up worshiping Indiana Jones and Han Solo, but this man can do no wrong in my eyes. Where most people could never get away with lines like “Give me back my family!” or “Pack up your shit and get out of here!” I cheered every time the big man pulled out his gruff angry man voice. I would not have wanted to run into him in an alley while he’s trying to find his family. And it turns out I could have as this is another movie filmed all over Vancouver with sites from Gastown to Granville St. The rest of the cast is good enough. Paul Bettany is your classic evil action villain, and his collection of goons have a touch more than the normal amount of personality. The actors playing Jack’s family do a good job of being scared and/or angry for two hours, and Robert Patrick was neat as the well-meaning boss who nearly ruins every- thing. I kept wondering why he didn’t start running after cats and smashing through the back window T-1000 style though. A reasonable amount of suspense, some almost inge- nuitive premises, and some non-stop intense performances make this a serviceable action film. If you like Ford’s other New West Cinemas 555, 6th Street, New Westminster, BC, V7L 5H1 Ph/Fax: 604.526.0379 Email: ncinemas@yahoo.ca Movie Info: 604.526.0332 Website: www.atnymovie.com films than you'll be at home here. Harrison proves that, even at 63, he is still built Ford tough. His final clumsy siege on the ramshackle cottage is almost worth it alone. As long as you keep pretending he is an old Indiana Jones that is. Smith: “Give me back my family.” It’s just so intense, and espe- cially so coming from Harrison Ford. The trailers looked equally intense. Harrison’s eyes filled with rage as he told an unnamed assailant that he wanted his family back. Unfortunately this line does not, I repeat does not, appear in the film. Instead we get the same intensity in the line, “T’m going to get my dog.” Not exactly the same calibre, and certainly not to the same effect. Firewall was yout typical no brainer action/kidnap- ping/bank heist film. Men want money, men blackmail banker to get money, men blackmailing banker kidnap banker’s family, banker fights back. The only difference was the man fighting back was Indiana Fucking Jones, not just some schlub on the street. The movie was disappointing. Suspicious use of invented technology made me disbelieve much of the premise. I highly doubt that you can use a fax scanner to scan the scrolling numbers from a computer screen, store the scans on an iPod, and then, in 5 minutes, transfer that image file into a data file. Wouldn’t the scanned numbers be all blurry? Have you ever received a clear fax? And acting...don’t get me started on acting. Harrison Ford was intense as always. Paul Bettany played your typi- cal bad guy. The T-1000 played a character whose point I could not determine. Though I did find myself exclaiming, “Run Indy! The T-1000 gonna get you!” at one point in the film. Worst of the whole lot was the secretary charac- ter. Unemotional and more boring than watching my roommates play video games for hours on end, Mary Lyn Rajskub of 24 fame caused me great pain to watch. I did however find solace in the fact that I could play the game, “where in Vancouver is that?” as the film was made in Vancouver for the most part. A rather blatant shot of the baggage claim at YVR had me in stitches, as it was meant to be Sea-Tac. All in all, this was not a good movie. It was more of the same action crap that always shows up in theatres for a few weeks. Go if you want to see Harrison Ford trying to relive the glory days of Indiana Jones, but don’t go if you think it’s going to be a good, entertaining movie.