‘It’s not you, It’s us’

Breaking down our worst break ups

veryone experiences break ups

differently. Each relationship needs
a different break up depending on a
number of factors. Some people need
distance from the ex to get over the
relationship and some people prefer
and do better by staying friends with
their exes. There is no one right answer
for how to break up. However, there are
some mistakes that we have made and
witnessed in our relationships that
need to be addressed. These are our
worst break up stories—enjoy.

Going the distance
I lived with my ex for two months after
our breakup.
My first serious relationship was
a long-distance one. We met when
he was travelling in Canada, and
things were idyllic at first when we
lived together. When he went back
to his home country though, things
deteriorated fast. Distance forced me
to realize our incompatibility—but I
mustered all my mental strength to
suppress that fact... and flew across the
country to visit him for the first time.
It was a disaster. The second I saw

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NY

  

him at the airport I realized that he
was a total stranger to me and that I
had grown a lot in the half-year we had
been apart. When he went in to hug
me, I immediately tensed up. This was
going to be a long two months.

Even if we hadn't officially talked
about it, it was clear that there were
issues from the start. I remember
when we first entered the apartment
we would be sharing for two months,
Iimmediately went to sit by the
window to message my family and
friends back home. He stared at me
for a few moments before smiling and
exclaiming: “I just can’t believe you’re
really here!” Being a jerk, I replied
“mhmm.” Poor bastard; he didn’t know
I was screaming his exact sentiment in
my head.

The next two months consisted
of constant arguments and emotional
yelling matches. “Why won’t you give
me a chance?” He would ask. “What’s
wrong with me?” He would pester. “I
don’t understand why you don’t love
me now; I love yow!” There were literally
no answers I could give him aside

    

from “we're just not good together as a
couple” and “we’re just too different.”
When we first started dating as two
ignorant and incapable twenty-year
olds, we always relied on each other for
advice and guidance. Now that I was
breaking up with him, this formula
didn’t add up anymore. He was literally
asking me how to get over me. Neither
of us had much emotional support and
because we were in such close quarters,
so we figured there was no other
alternative and continued to live at this
level of dysfunction.

Near the end of the two months,
we went travelling and met a bunch
of people backpacking in his home
country. When we were doing so, he
started to talk to other people about
our break up. Our friendship honestly
improved for a short while after that,
but when I had to start getting ready
to go home, things started getting
unrealistic and ugly again. He started
talking about visiting each other, like
this visit hadn’t already been enough
of a prison sentence for both of us.

We sat at the airport talking about

 

all the ways we would stay friends and,
after having been in such an emotional
state for a full two months, I wept with
him and was delusional enough for a
split-second to think that maintaining
this relationship would be beneficial
on any level for either of us. When I
got back home, we had a single phone
conversation about the fact that it was
for the best that we never talked again
and cut contact permanently. I wish
him the best, but any relationship we
would have would be the utter opposite.
We all want to care about our exes,

but sometimes the most caring thing
we can do for them is to cut them out
completely.

Friends with no benefits

I dated my first boyfriend for a little
over two years. This was both of our
first meaningful relationship ever.
After we broke up, we didn’t really
know what to do. We were both each
others only friends at that point, so we
kept hanging out, having sex, texting,
pretty much everything you doina
relationship, sans the relationship.
Since he was my first everything, it