the Bther Press Volume 23 © Issue 14 * January 20 1999 Room 1020-700 Royal Avenue New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 submit@op.douglas.bc.ca general@op.douglas.bc.ca Fax//604.525.3505 or 604.527.5095 Phone//604.525.3542 David Lam Campus Room a3107 Phone//604.527.5805 The Other Press is Douglas College's autonomous student newspaper. We've been publishing since 1976. The Other Press is run as a non- hierarchical collective, which means that if anything goes wrong, none will take the blame. Expect us to pass the buck. The OP is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters and monthly [as a magazine] during the summer. When we manage to publish at all. In this case, we blame technology. We receive our funding from a student levy collected every semester at registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. But, if you really want it, we'll give you your money back. Please, don’t ask. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a cooperative of student newspapers from across Canada. We adhere to CUP’s Statement of Common Principles and Code of Ethics—not that we claim to understand them, we just stick by them. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what to publish, and what not to publish, but usually we print everything, unless it is racist, sexist or homophobic. If you have any quibbles with what we choose, maybe you should get your lazy butt down here and help. No, really. We can use the help. Coordinators Athletics ~ Hamish Knox sport@op.douglas.bc.ca Coq. Athletics ~ Mike Quong Culture ~ Jen Swanston a&e@op.douglas.bc.ca Cog. Culture ~ Ryan Kuzek Coquitlam ~ Lorenzo Sia coq_coordinator@op.douglas.bc.ca CUP Liaison ~ Cathy Tan cup@op.douglas.bc.ca Distribution ~ Pierre Florendo Features ~ Annette Martin & Jen Swanston features@op.douglas.bc.ca News ~ Annette Martin news@op.douglas.bc.ca OP/Ed ~ Tom Laws opinions@op.douglas.bc.ca Coq. OP/Ed ~ Michael Cox Photography ~ Dave Tam photo@op.douglas.bc.ca Photo Assistant: Kristina Holtz Production ~ Bodie Duble production_co@op.douglas.bc.ca Webslinger ~ Mark Smeets op_web@op.douglas. bc.ca Employees New West Advertising ~ Vacant ad@op.douglas.bc.ca Coquitlam Advertising ~ John Morash Bookkeeping ~ Zahra Jamal Production Resource~ Joyce Robinson production@op.douglas.bc.ca Editorial Resource ~ Corene McKay ed_res@op.douglas.be.ca Contributors Adrienne Lindsay, Tara Legare, Matt O'Halloran, Gweny Wong, Jones, Andrew Carroll, Jen Bradd, Tillie King, Anika Stafford 2 February 17 1999 Opinions Elementary education Devil’s Advocate Honestly, it’s a wonder most Douglas students made it this far. One would think that in order to graduate from kindergarten, one would have to have a grasp on basic things like shapes (say, an octagon) and be able to distinguish basic colours (say, red). To graduate from the first grade, one would think that you would have to master the skill of reading basic words (say, stop). And to graduate from high school, one must have high reading and comprehension skills. One would think. But one would be wrong. Some Douglas students do not posses the shape recognition skills of a four- year-old, or the colour interpreting skills of a two- year-old. Never mind the ability to see a coloured shape, and interpret its meaning. If you don't believe me, take a look outside the underground parking garage doors. What you will see is a long lineup of cars waiting to News get in to the underground parkade. What you may not see (if you are like the idiots driving the cars) are the two or three signs with red octagons crossed out. Actu- ally, the only way you could not see them is if you closed your eyes. But perhaps you, along with all those lined-up drivers, cannot make sense of basic shapes and colours. But this isn’t really surprising. As of September 1991, Statistics Canada reported that 12% of British Columbians are functionally illiterate. Broken down a bit more, 5% of BC’ers can sign their names, but little else. The other 7% can pick small words out of very basic text (like the word “stop,” for example) and can understand words on street signs. What this means is that people who can both breathe and open their eyes at the same time can read and understand basic words and geometric (g-o- met-ric) signs. And those with even the most basic level of education can interpret a street sign. Hence, somewhere in between the drooling morons and the flagrantly Weather watch what to do about classes cancelled, what should you ? Well first of all, don’t Douglas College Facilities call the college switchboard Services and the Communica- tions and Marketing Office. If you wake up to snow, inclement conditions or a power outage one morning and don’t feel like driving in to college from Langley or North Vancouver just to find your classes have been the Other Press Fm.- the Other Press and jam the telephone lines! If you think the condi- tions are so bad that the College might be closed, check out local radio broad- casts before you leave home. Tune into CBC 690AM, CKNW 980AM, CKWX 1130AM, CKZZ95.3FM or CFOX 99.3FM, to find out if the college is Mee and if panes are stupid, lie these Douglas College students who cannot comprehend the obviously Mensa level signs which tell people not to “stop” on the road. How did these poor people slip through the cracks? It's surprising that the government issued them a driving licence, what with them not being able to write their own names. But it’s not like we don’t know about the already high standards employed by the government. It just makes the rest of the college look bad in the eyes of the community. It is a disgrace that we cannot follow something as simple as a street sign instead of blocking off an entire street because we are too lazy to either: A) Come to class a little earlier to get an underground spot or B) Park your car at one of the two hour blocks along Agnes St. and move your car after a couple hours until a parking space becomes available. And what looks worse cancelled. Alternatively, call the College's emergency for the rest of us is the feeling of degradation when extra police have to be called in to babysit and make sure no one parks on the road. We now have to have the law brought in to uphold some- thing so basic. But even worse, those squad cars and officers could be used some- where else for real crimes in New West. And let's face it, there are enough crimes to keep them all more than busy. But instead, they have to come here and hold the hands of a few people with the cranial capacity of a Grape Nut. I sincerely hope that each and every person who gets caught by the police at the New West campus gets a huge fine, and gets their car towed. Maybe we could try proving we're a little more mature than the Pinetree High School students at David Lam. phone number at 527-5452 for the latest update. Qwner/ Manager 720.8657 45 el O64: 4.454.9456 60 Barry Patterson == Email pgopher@yahoo.com _ Bren cay Ondo S : wrong by Dee 7 But write it down anyway and send it to:.2¢ 1020 NW US eee os 8 Be oe pO