Gattaca skewed and it isn't her fault,
it’s just that she’s been working on
Robson too long.

I asked an Aritzai store clerk what
she thought about the beautiful people
of Robson. She seemed confused, yet

flawless, and simply told me
she wasnt allowed to com-
ment and I had to contact
their PR department.
Robson Street stores see
famous people all the time.
“Like, we do live right next
door to Planet Hollywood
you know,’ the Cotton
Ginny clerk said. I wonder if
she was an import robot
from California.

I did talk to this clerk at
The Gap and he wasn’t one
of them, he was like me.

 

“Tr’s strange, I worked at
another Gap and J didn’t see
half as many good-looking
people there as I do here.”
He has confirmed my
theory that the people on
Robson Street are all beauti-

ful people/robots created by the gov-
ernment to enhance our declining
tourism industry. These people aren't
real because even the ugly people are
gorgeous and that just doesn't seem
right. Between the artsy people, famous

 

 

 

people and flawless, trendy people
walking along Robson Street, most of
us make the street seem too real. But,
Robson is just like Rodeo Drive; it’s
one of those streets where you can't
hang out too long. Either the Gattaca
effect will choke you into leaving or
your parking meter will run out.

As I walk down the bricklined
streets of Gastown, untucking my
shirt and sipping on a Coke, I feel
home again, back to planet real. I
smile and walk with crying babies
and worn out mothers, dishwashers
late for their shifts, tourists yelling
and snapping photos of our appar-
ently amazing steam clock, I feel con-
firmed that Robson is Glen Clark’s
own version of Gattaca. If a tax
deduction on your paycheque reads
R.G.E,, it will stand for Robson
Gattaca Expense—and then you'll
know, it’s real.