cassette or CD, they had to get one too. Enter Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart and its rollback prices allowed me to prepare for my various
recitals, talent shows, and performances. For a kid with little to cling to in my sad pathetic life, that music was a priceless gift.

That’s what Wal-Mart is to people like me: a priceless gift. It’s allowed me to change my wardrobe for under $150. Now,
when I say wardrobe, I mean that I replaced almost every article of clothing I own. Wal-Mart is awesome for this. Some people
say that it’s not brand name, but I recently saw one of my favourite Walmart shirts on my favourite sitcom. The 725 label is
losing the stigma that was once attached to it. It also works for gifts, electronics, and crafts. Wal-Mart is that little piece of
corporate America that warms my heart and makes me think that not all big businesses are evil.

The best thing about Wal-Mart is that it’s for everyone. There’s always going to be something there for you no matter what
you’re into. Plus, Wal-Mart, unlike Superstore, has lots of friendly staff there to help you no matter how many items you’ re
going to try on. It’s also very student friendly. Walmart is open until 11 p.m.; I literally jumped up and down with excitement
when I discovered this two months ago. Finally, I can go shopping on weekdays after work and classes without trying to rush
to Metrotown before 9 p.m. I can shop at my leisure without hassle, which is heaven compared to Superstore, Zellers, and all of
Wal-Mart’s other competitors.

All in all, Wal-Mart is an amazing place to shop. It’s allowed me to do things that I otherwise couldn’t afford to do. It’s an
amazing piece of consumer heaven on Earth.

 

 

Another reason for Wearing a CONGOM 5, scsi.

Te environment is a bit more fucked than
it used to be, and this probably has something
to do with the new statistics regarding the
depletion of mammals today. Greenhouse
gasses are stabbing holes in the ozone; climate
change is distorting regional vegetation and
all the while winters are getting colder and
summers are getting warmer (I wouldn’t want
to forget that the glaciers are melting and the
sea levels are raising too).

I would like to say that we’re lucky; if
this was a court case before God, or whatever
all-seeing eye you believe in, us humans
would take to the stand and then the chair
because we’re definitely to blame for the slow
murder of Mother Nature.

I’ve been told this act of genocide is due
to overpopulation, which seems plausible,
as nations, not just continents, are holding
inhabitants of more than a billion. The fact
that overpopulation exists as a great strain on
Mother Nature is the same fact that has also
brought about the needed awareness that there
may be limited amounts of edible resources.

I know the word “limited” may sound
weird in a consumer’s society, especially
when our local shops like Costco and
Superstore depict the world as an infinite
supply of gluttony, selling bulk packages of
“tomatoes on the vine” and what appear to be
endless tubes of Pringles; not to mention the
warehouse that holds these goods is an acre
itself. But I guess that means that in order for
Costco to possess so many edible resources,
there is a starving kid that only exists
elsewhere because of this. However, this
starving boy is not yet dead, unlike whatever
species just keeled over this time; over one
quarter of the mammal population is now
living on the endangered species list.

So maybe we, the greatest consumers,
should either stop consuming in bulk, or force
ourselves to wear condoms more periodically.
Why? Overpopulation should be assessed

because a quarter of the mammal population is
now living on “death row,” as overpopulation
has led to an intense form of cultivating the
land and its resources. We may only stand at
the top of the food chain for a little longer,

as there will not be enough mammals living
bellow us for us to constitute a chain for us

to eat. So unless we want to start eating each
other, I have found one more good reason to
wear a condom.

   
 

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