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Contact: Chandler Walter, Humour Editor
Mhumour@theotherpress.ca

He simply won't get

» How one student inspired millions

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor
S humour@theotherpress.ca

he world was changed early

Monday morning, as Jerry
Edmunds decided he was going
to miss his first few classes and
sleep in.

What Edmunds didn’t know
at the time was that this simple
action would spark a change in
the way students everywhere saw
their priorities, education, and
entire lifestyle.

Edmunds began tweeting
about his day off from the
comfort of his own bed, and

: almost instantaneously began
: trending worldwide.

“Tt was incredible,” Edmunds

: said as we interviewed him in his
: room. “The tweets really took off.
: I feel I really struck a chord in the
: hearts of students everywhere.

: I told them that there is hope.

: There is a choice.”

Edmunds, having read Dr.

: Seuss’s I’m Not Getting Out of

: Bed Today as a child, decided

: today was the day he would forgo
: all social conventions regarding

: alarm clocks or recommended

: sleep hours.

“Tt was as if the Seuss himself

: had come to me in a dream and

out of bed

: told me, Jerry, you must do this,”
: Edmunds said.

Shortly after tweeting some

: powerful words from the book—
: “My bed is warm, my pillow

: deep, today’s the day I'm going

: to sleep’—thousands of students
: took up the call and decided that
: they would join the revolution.

“My followers come in

: all shapes, sizes, and colors,”
: Edmunds said. “Whether it be on!
: Twitter or Instagram, they would
: follow me into a coma if I asked it
: of them. I am truly blessed.”

The Day of the Long Nap

has officially been recorded in
; the history books, taking the

This issue:

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And more!

: record as the day with the most
: absents in high schools and post- !
: secondary institutions across the
: country.

When asked if he worried

: about his missed education,

: Edmunds only shrugged. “This

: is bigger than that now,” he said.
: “T have created a thing of beauty
: that is being shared by all the

: snoozers, slackers, and stressed-
: out students across the nation,

: the world, even. I could never

: abandon them now, Besides, we
: were just going to watch some

: documentary in class today.”

By that time, groups of

: protesters had formed outside

Illustration by Ed Appleby

: Edmunds’ bedroom window.

“Just as it was foretold in

: the great book. Seuss must have
: had powers beyond anything we
: could have imagined,” Edmunds
: said.

We had to end our interview

: as the mob was growing too loud
: to speak over.

Unfortunately, we have

: it from an inside source that

: Edmunds had to leave the

: confines of his bed, thereby

: ending the movement he started
: all those hours ago.

Seemingly, the call of nature

is stronger than the willpower of a
: sleepy student.