LY bee $51.99 CORONA - $62.29 CUERVO acai (f 19040 Lougheed Hwy Pitt Meadows, BC Flick of the list I’m quite convinced that Facebook has finally replaced inhaling paint fumes as Canada’s favourite time waster. I look on Facebook and I see more information than I ever cared to know about my coworkers, colleagues, friends and frenemies. For example, I know everyone’s political leanings and religious views, allowing me to make snap judgements about them even more easily. I can see who’s in a relationship and who are the losers with no one in the whole wide world to love them. I can let everyone know which Star Wars character I would be (answer: Emperor Palpatine), which Disney princess I would be (answer: Jasmine) and I can use the Catbook application to make sure my cats have friends, even though my cats would never want any friends because they only want to bring sadness and misfortune upon this world. One of my favourite developments from Facebook is how applications are allowing people to make lists. Lists of your favourite albums, lists of your favourite sports teams, lists of who you want to get in a fight with, lists of the cutest dogs ever and the list goes on. This brings up an interesting example of meta logic. Well, not so much interesting as brilliant. And not so much brilliant as needlessly long and tedious. With all these lists, why not a list of lists? Lists can be listed as well as anything, so why don’t we? Here are my favourite lists. NIXON’S ENEMIES LIST: If you’ve ever read Richard Nixon’s master list of political opponents, it might just seem like a who’s who of the late ‘60s brightest stars. And how bright they are! This is the only place where you'll find Paul Newman, Bill Cosby, Gregory Peck, Jane Fonda and John Lennon in the same place. It reads like the guest list of a gala event or just the cast of a George Roy Hill film. Nixon always knew how to pick ‘em. Unless he’s picking a crew for a break-and-enter job. He didn’t pick those guys well. THE 10 CRACK COMMANDMENTS: Has there ever been a list as relevant to the modern world as the 10 Crack Commandments? After the Notorious B.L.G. dropped this joint, a “step by step booklet for you to get your game track” my life changed completely. I stopped getting high on my own supply, I stopped thinking that crackheads would pay me back the rock I fronted them. And the lessons contained in this list have carried over into my post-hustlin’ life; even as a newspaper editor, I do everything with silence and violence. Thanks, Mr. Smalls! THE HIT LIST: Circa 1994, this music video countdown program was bar none the most important thing on television. As an eight-year-old Canadian boy, I was completely aware that there was critically- acclaimed music from south of the 49" parallel; all I knew about music were the tunes of Gordon Lightfoot and the sounds of the sealskin drums inside my family’s igloo. But thanks to The Hit List with then-host and current-hobo Tarzan Dan at the wheels of steel, I finally was exposed to art that matters; TLC, Coolio, Soundgarden; great artists. As relevant today as they were back then. SCHINDLER’S: For a war profiteer, he was a pretty good guy. FRANZ LISZT: Franz Liszt was known in the late 19" century for his amazing hands—and not just on the piano. Liszt developed a reputation as one of the finest gigolos in the court of Austria-Hungary. He was always known to hustle in the Hapsburg palace, recognizable to all the royal ladies by his cowboy hat and leather duster. A little known fact is how the original cause of tension between Austria-Hungary and Serbia preceding World War I was how Liszt accidentally gave Serbia’s Queen Natalija Obrenovié Chlamydia after a night of nasty, nasty lovemaking. It was okay though, she got what she paid for. There you have it. These lists are without a doubt the greatest to ever arrange things in point form. While this listing of lists may seem like an exercise in being too clever by half... well, I suppose it is. It’s an excuse to fill up a page of editorial space without resorting to leftist rants, and I’m sure everyone in BC has had enough politics over the past few weeks. But if you disagree with my list then why not list your own top lists? I’m sure it won’t be as great as this one, but hey, you can always try. And feel free to make my list your top pick. Your friend in high fidelity, Liam Britten Editor-in-Chief The Other Press News Editor Report on news stories around Douglas College and the local community. Interest in college and local events and affairs a major asset. Must have strong writing ability and be able to commit time to research and interviews for stories. Pay: $400/month Send your resume to editor @theotherpress.ca.