WIF

 

 

Brady Ehler, Coquitlam Rep.

The results of Coquitlam’s 2005 general local election

are in and our new Mayor is....Maxine Wilson! Yes,
two-time councilwoman, founding president of the BC
Confederation of Parent Advisory Council, former School
Trustee in Coquitlam for ten years (including four years as
Chair of the School Board), and former grade-one school
teacher, Wilson takes the cake in this riding with 7,970
votes.

Wilson snatched said cake from the hands venerable
hands of last year’s mayor, Jon Kingsbury, who rang in with
a respectable 7,918 votes. Oh! How bitter the icing must
taste as Kingsbury licks it from his fingers! Harry Warren
took third place with a laughable 1,962 votes. E for effort,
Harry, E for effort.

Of the 24 candidates for city council, only eight made

Election Results are in For Coquitiam

the cut. You have to be tough, clever, and have a soul of
iron to be a city councilor in Coquitlam, either that or be
one of the eight people with the most amount of votes.
Patrick Swayze look-alike, Fin Donnelly, proved he is an
invincible man of steel this campaign, with 10,545 votes!
First loser, Barrie Lynch, came in a distant second at 8,593
votes, and Louella Hollington rounded-out the top three
with 7,425 votes. The five other proud champions of the
people in this riding are: Mae Reed (7132 votes), Richard
Stewart (6,973 votes), Lou Sekora (6949 votes), Brent
Asmundson (6,464 votes) and Doug Macdonell (5,968
votes). Gail Alty, Brian Robinson, Julie Rogers, and Gerri
Wallis were elected as School Trustees.

On a sour note, I would like to point out the shame of
Coquitlam; voting is down this year, rounding off at 23.3

percent (a 4.4 percent decrease from 2002’s 27.7 percent),
with 18,061 ballots cast. Yep, not even a quarter of eligible
voters turned out to decide the fate of their fair city. On the
bright side, the actual number of people voting this year
has gone up 3,092 voters, with 18,061 ballots cast this year
against last year’s 15,969. I wonder how many eligible voters
under 25 showed up to cast their votes? ’'m guessing not
many.

Suddenly, it’s becoming clear to me why young people,
like Jonathan Cote, have been running for office! Hmmm,
maybe I can somehow tap into that frigid cache of youth
voters. Ok youth, here is the deal: You vote for me next
election, I promise I’ll buy each of you a new car, plus,
there will be totally rad parties every Saturday at the City
Council office.

 

Last Call

Amanda Aikman, OP Columnist

 

Hmm, turns out nobody out there had any problems

this week. Well, aren’t you all just so perfect, with your
perfect, problem-free lives? Bully for you. Some of us,
unfortunately, are not so lucky.

‘Take me, for instance. I’m sure you all noticed that I wasn’t
here last week; I guess your inquiries of concern just got lost
in the mail. Well, to put your minds at ease, and since I have no
letters from whiny advice-seekers this week, I figured I'd take
this opportunity to do a little whining of my own.

Here’s my problem: those damned, miserable,
torturous, unnecessary, evolutional throwbacks that are so
inappropriately referred to as wisdom teeth. Now, I know
that in the big picture wisdom teeth are pretty low on the
ol’ problem totem pole. There are people out there dealing
with homelessness, disease, and vengeful acts of God and
Mother Nature—so crying about having a few teeth pulled
is pretty lame. But somehow, when besieged by punishing
oral pain and astronomical dental bills, perspective is a
difficult thing to maintain.

It all started last week when the left side of my face,
having decided I had lived too long without experiencing
crippling jaw pain, started forcing a giant, crooked
tooth into a space about one tenth of its size. Then, to
make things more interesting, after three days of dining
solely on penicillin, Tylenol 3s, and gin, the fancy-pants

Coal Harbour dentist I visited told me that all four of
my wisdom teeth would need to come out. And the
fun didn’t stop there. Oh no, the party was just getting
started.

I always knew I was one in a million, but as luck would
have it, turns out ’m one in 20, too. One in 20 who may
end up with permanent nerve damage in the left side of
their cheek, chin, tongue, lip, and teeth, that is. According to
Dr. Fancy Pants, there is a nerve either next to, touching, or
wrapped around my impacted lower-left wisdom tooth. To
get a better look at it, he sent
me to have a CT (or, CAT)
scan, which was pretty freaky.
Although, knowing most of
the other patients there were
probably waiting to find out
about aneurysms and tumours,
I felt pretty guilty feeling sorry
for myself.

Which brings us to where
I am today. Waiting for Dr.
Fancy Pants to call and give
me the results of my CT
scan and to schedule a time
this week to desecrate the
four corners of my mouth at
my expense, since I am not
currently covered under any
dental plan. I’ve opted for
what they call “intravenous
sedation,” which apparently
falls somewhere between
local and general anesthesia.
Supposedly, I will be super
loopy and won’t remember
anything, but I will still be
able to “take commands.”
Hopefully the effects will
wear off before my boyfriend
takes me home.

Everyone keeps telling
me that it is relatively quick,
and I’ll be so hopped up on

sedatives that I won’t feel anything or really understand
what is happening to me, but I am still very panicked and
not looking forward to this procedure. Especially if it
results in me being a numb-faced freak for the rest of my
life. So, if anyone out there has any wisdom-teeth horror
stories, or even comforting tales of pleasant wisdom-teeth
removal experiences—please send them to me at lastcall_
op@yahoo.ca. Reading them will give me something to do
between suffering and making my boyfriend’s life hell in
my days of post-operative bliss.

 

Amanda recently survived a bloody tango with her wisdom teeth