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e Ways society will adapt to the
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Ways society will adapt to the pandemic

» What will they think of next?

Morgan Hannah
Life & Style Editor

 

magine: it’s the year 2021, and the

unbelievable has happened—COVID-19
is still around. The world has long ago
transformed into something very different
than you remember, and it really is a
shame. This new world is one where
minor adjustments of inconvenience
are commonplace practices, such as the
elimination of public displays of affection.

If you like someone and want to get

physical, yall gotta wait it out two weeks in
separate rooms, then quarantine together.
Relationships have never been under
so much strain before. And booty calls?
Well, those are all butts out the window.
It’s not all bad though, they've invented
toe tappers instead of sidewalk crossing
buttons—now that's really thinking
afoot! And there has been a boom in
the face fashion industry with custom
couture masks from the post-apocalyptic
accessories line. Helping to curb “speaking
moistly.”

Certain non-essential services, such as
clothing retailers, are now steadily working
as online ambassadors for their favourite
brands. Who knew that “outfit of the day”
videos would become so popular! And
thousands of jobs have been created and
filled with restaurant servers employed as
food delivery drivers. They've even taken
on the use of webcams so you can still
find and flirt with your favourite server!
Also, fast-food is at an all-time high, with
the consolidation of food giants into large
food-court style drive-thrus! Fish, lizards,
and sphynx cats have become the top pets
in the world—anything without hair, really.
Cuddly dogs are strictly service animals
now—dutifully delivering groceries to the
elderly.

Yes, it’s anew world out there, one
where everyone has had to sacrifice
something to take part. But, we're all
working together, and one of these days
we'll have a vaccine and life as we know it
will be back to normal. Let’s just hope that
it doesn't take until 2021.

 

Possible trends after the
coronavirus pandemic

» A newer, tougher, and more ‘branded’ lifestyle

EG Manilag
Staff Writer

 

’m sure all of you are very excited, not just

to go outdoors and play, but also to be in
a classroom full of people to socialize with.
Right? Sometimes, or all the time, we may
hate the words “school” and “studying,” but
I think what’s more dreadful is studying
full time at home with limited choices of
snacks and everything.

The only unlimited thing you have

 

at home is your mom’s yapping since you
didn’t scrub the back of the toilet. In short,
coronavirus, please stop spreading.

The return of the Homo sapiens
Obviously, now that all barbershops are
closed, many people—excluding baldies—
are going to suffer the “Homo sapien”
effect. AKA, Men may slightly look like
Neanderthals.

The I Am Legend effect
After this horrifying pandemic, I’m very

certain that some of you would feel entitled
to act like Will Smith in the 2007 film [Am
Legend. But instead of storing weapons,
you would probably hoard sanitizer and
toilet rolls. You would probably also use
them to build your fortified, impenetrable,
and untouchable castle—with empty paper
roll tubes as your DIY binoculars.

Everyone will “love” fast food
restaurants

After this deadly disease, when everything
is open and safe, everyone would surely
dive first into dining rooms for a chill place
to hangout. For instance, McDonald’s will
be full—not for their food, of course! Just
their dining rooms.

COVID generation: The new baby
boomers

Because of this long and enduring
isolation, the young, old, semi-old,

and semi-young couples will be left
with nothing to do but sex—creating
unwanted offspring. This phenomenon
is truly happening because many were
too busy stockpiling toilet papers to
buy any contraceptives. In 13 years time,
we will definitely witness the rise of
QUARANTEENS.

No “bless you” anymore
“Bless you” would be no more. People

Illustration by Morgan Hannah

would become fishy rather than friendly
if they find you sneezing. And instead of
saying “bless you,” they'd probably just
be silent while doing the “I will kill you”
gesture while violently staring at you.

Introverts will be justified

Before, introverts were easily identified.
Now, they will simply be misjudged as
ordinary folks following social distancing
protocols. Finally! Introverts can now freely
walk the streets without the fear that they'll
be shamed if they don’t greet back.

Basic hygiene products will be more
targeted in their branding

As we become more and more health
conscious, we'll probably treat our health
the way we treat our fashion sense. I’m
talking about designer stuff, like designer
facemasks, designer toilet paper rolls, and
hella expensive hand sanitizers.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if
giant companies like Nike, Adidas, Coca-
Cola, Apple, and Samsung rebranded some
essential hygiene products. For Apple, they
would probably advertise their innovative
“Sanitizer Pro Max” that will obviously
have its nozzle sold separately. And for
Samsung, they would probably endorse
their flagship “Toilet Paper Galaxy,” which,
like the rest, is water-resistant. How cool
is that?