My life on medication > Dismantling the stigma against pharmaceutical treatment for mental illness Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor Content warning on this article for mentions of self-harm. €€4\7ou know, I once thought I had depression, then I started eating tuna every week and it got better” “I could never take medication—it turns you into a different person. It’s really just a crutch people use so they don’t have to face their problems.” “Imagine if they’d medicated Van Gogh!” If they'd medicated Van Gogh, we might have gotten a few more Starry Nights out of him. Or, better yet, a human being would have been able to live a much happier life, for the theoretical sake of a few depression-fuelled paintings. What a tragedy. The above quotes are all things I’ve had said to me on the subject of medication; some, from people who have no idea that I’m one of those pill-popping brain zombies that edgy artists like to paint as social commentary. Some, from people who actually do know this about me, and have that pinched, guilty look of a person trying to gently suggest that I might not know as much about my own mental illness as they do. I understand the trepidation and discomfort regarding medication, and it ties back into the mysticism surrounding mental illness. It’s easy to doubt that mental illness exists if you don’t have it, because it isn’t something as easy to see as a broken bone. The thought of taking a pill that might “control your mind” or “change your personality” can also make people uneasy, and to a certain extent it should. However, just because you don’t need it, doesn’t mean other people don't need it. I’m what the doctors call “high- functioning:” I don't “seem” like I’m sick, which is part of why I’ve become so vocal about my mental illness and the effects it’s had on my life—not because I want people to know what I’m going through, specifically, but so that people can see that it literally can happen to anyone. The frustration of living with an invisible illness is in finding the awkward balance between wanting to blend in, and being able to explain to people why sometimes you just can’t. Before I started on medication, I lived in such a constant state of emotional flux that I honestly did not know what it felt like to live without it. I thought everyone spent nights lying awake in absolute terror, the source of which was ever- changing. Once I'd rationalized my way out of the fear that the sun might throw a flare that could cook the Earth and kill us all, ld still be faced with the fear that once the polar ice caps melt, the methane trapped under the ice could quickly poison the planet and kill us all anyway. EN -W-lOM(o(-t- Mich mB cela ee M lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca (Y RPG hooks: The standard (¥ National Parks offer a much-needed summer escape Y Thrifting tips and tricks And more! Photo by Analyn Cuarto C C It was like some kind of grimy filter over my life was lifted. I would swing from anxiety so extreme it would cause my body to shake like I was having a seizure, to depression so all-encompassing I wouldn't be able to move—sometimes for days. I struggled with this all while holding employment, attending school, socializing with friends and colleagues who had no idea that my thighs were scarred from years of self- harm, and that the night before I'd spent six hours sobbing and watching clips of How It’s Made on YouTube to keep myself from taking that self-harm a few steps further. The choice to start taking medication wasn't an easy one. It wasn't easy to hear from my doctor that I'd likely have to spend the rest of my life on medication. It wasn’t easy when my first prescription smoothed out my anxiety, but left me only with the depression and the dissociative episodes after weeks of constant nausea and insomnia while my body became accustomed to the drugs. Once it started working, however, it was like some kind of grimy filter over Riding in cars with boy jeans > Nasty Gal founder gets her own Netflix series Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor Bun clothes online is such a common occurrence nowadays that it’s hard to imagine a time before, in the long, long ago, when someone looking to start a boutique website was breaking new ground. One such pioneer was Sophia Amoruso, the founder of online clothing store Nasty Gal. According to her autobiography #GIRLBOSS (2014), Amoruso began her online career with an Ebay store called Nasty Gal Vintage. Making good use of her formal education in photography and her passion for vintage clothing circa the ’60s—’8o0s, Amoruso was able to turn a profit on clothes she bought for next to nothing. She eventually took her business to its own domain after she was banned from Ebay. The cause of the ban is up for debate, though Amoruso said it was due to her posting hyperlinks in her replies to customer feedback, while others claim she was artificially inflating bids. Amoruso denied this. Nasty Gal, as we know it now, launched in 2006 and boasts over 500,000 customers worldwide. In 2012 it was named one of Inc. Magazines’ fastest growing companies, and Forbes named Amoruso one of the richest self-made women in the world. Currently, her net worth is approximately $280 million. That’s not bad for someone who used to steal her clothes out of dumpsters. In January of 2015, Amoruso decided to step down as CEO of Nasty Gal, and in November of 2016 Amoruso resigned as executive chairwoman after Nasty Gal had to file for bankruptcy. Despite all this, Netflix decided my life was lifted. If you haven’t spent two decades in a constant state of anxiety, you can’t understand the relief when it’s suddenly gone, or, at the very least, reduced to a manageable level. I don't truly believe that everyone suffering from mental illness needs treatment through medication. A lot of mental illnesses can be worked through and managed without medication, and I definitely encourage exploring those options first. The choice to take medication—or not to take it—is incredibly personal and shouldn't be forced on anyone either way. For me, I can easily say that medication has saved not just my life, but my quality of life. I’m not asking anyone to try walking in my shoes to understand this, because without experiencing it first-hand there’s no way you could possibly know what it’s like, and that’s okay. I’m just asking that people take my word for it, and stop trying to tell me that if I try hard and believe in myself, I can replace my medication with yoga and wheatgrass. her rags-to-riches story—as well as her jumbled and often comedic autobiography—was interesting enough to put their spin on. With a plethora of powerful women at its helm—we’re talking names like Charlize Theron, Pitch Perfect’s Kay Cannon, Young Adult’s Beth Kono, and Amoruso herself—it’s hard to imagine that Netflix’s Girlboss will be anything less than fascinating television. The series will star Tomorrowland’s Britt Robertson, and the first season will be available on April 21.