Gattie Royale Darren Paterson, Travis Paterson, Brandon Ferguson, and Colin Miley All Mortal Enemies For Life Darren says: When someone survives and beats cancer, it is a great achievement. When someone wins the Tour de France, cycling’s largest competi- tion and one of the world’s most gruelling athletic events, it is also a great achievement. When someone does both, in the same lifetime, it is absolutely unfathomable. Lance Armstrong had his ath- letic career shot in the face when he was diagnosed with cancer, but, thanks to his indomitable spirit and amazing conditioning, he was able Colin Says: There is only one sport where the men are men and the sissies are looking for their teeth two blocks up on Queer Street. One sport where utter brutality, stunning athleticism, and cunning intelli- gence combine to produce a visceral bloodbath of mano-a-mano spectacle. That sport is boxing, and one man stands alone in its annals of lore and his- tory: Muhammad Ali, AKA—“The Greatest.” Peep the nickname, kittlings: “The Greatest.” Muhammad Ali was, and to beat the debilitating disease. Then he began his comeback. It start- forever is, the top dog in a sport of top dogs. But maybe even more ed off rocky but he eventually won a record six Tour de Frances. He important than his otherworldly domination in the ring, he stayed true to cemented his legacy as the greatest cyclist ever with his fifth win. With his principles in a time when principled public figures were being assassi- the sixth, he cemented his legacy as the greatest athlete ever. nated en masse. Armstrong has been tested for drugs hundreds of times—at the Ali was incredibly intelligent. He invented a persona that sold tickets— track, while in training, even in his own home. He has never tested pos- most memorably by generating hype through brash, poetic predictions. itive for performance enhancing drugs. His heart is roughly three times He also willed himself into the limelight to infect a generation with his the size of the average man and, with a resting heart rate of 32 beats insightful rhetoric. Ali embodied the spirit of the tumultuous 1960’s. He per minute, he boasts some of the best cardiovascular test scores of both moulded the decade, and became a reflection of it with his bold reli- any athlete in history. And his “LIVESTRONG” bracelets have raised gious and moral stands, his willingness to sacrifice fame and money for millions of dollars for cancer research while being worn by Olympic what he believed in, and his overall dominance of the vaunted heavy- gold medallists and great athletes in all sports. weight division. The athletic dominance that Armstrong has displayed after brutally Ali ruled boxing. He was the toughest man alive. He was also com- defeating one of the world’s most deadly diseases has been absolutely pelled to be himself, often to the detriment of his career. From unprecedented. There has never been, and there will never be, another Kentucky’s Cassius Clay to world-famous Muhammad Ali, Ali was an out- athlete that has or will beat brain, lung, abdomen, and testicular cancer. spoken champion both in and out of the ring. He stood for his ideals, was He is flat out the greatest athlete of all time and no one will ever match vilified for it (his refusal to go to Vietnam cost him his title and over $10 his accomplishments without a BALCO sponsorship and heavy genet- million in endorsements and purses), and ultimately became celebrated as ic engineering. beacon of righteousness. And finally, I'd like to point has one testicle, and it’s Ali, like the other three choices on these pages, is more than an ath- out that Armstrong, as a lete. He is a symbol. There is a reason that sports are able to captivate, the dream of a little kid to become a champion, or the dream of an yet he’s still dating adult ‘to impact the world (and hold the championship above their head), result of his cancer, only fascinate, and make people ruminate: sports represent dreams. Whether ‘ ( \ ee that type of ment. ‘Nuff us, said. 12 | www.theotherpress.ca accomplish- between Muhammad Ali and the rest of Sheryl Crow. Name sports is a vehicle to the public consciousness. What you do when you get another athlete with thete is often history’s test of true mettle. “That was always the difference He came, he saw, and if he didn't entirely conquer—he came as close as anybody we are likely to see in the lifetime of this doomed generation.” —Hunter S. Thompson July 13/2005 athlete’s worth based is the all-time leadin sport, soccer (158 god gression, then you s nightly highlight reels Before Anna Ko than bingo; before M out being a bull-dyke to the point that we prominent female ath With her signature Olympic gold medals ond World Cup win, in 90,000 fans attendi from home. Though less striptease to bard worthy of gossip be of Mia Hamm. The first professid that victory over Chi teammates. A selfless also fun to watch Gretzky put it so elog A sports scribe ¢ more girls to step o female athletes comb professional, always paved the way for a play—and succeed ed, metaphor-induci She was Susan B. A entire gender was savd of male arrogance (| allowed to thrive on t sport. Mia Hamm is changed sport foreve| Just kidding. totally suck.